Because in the traditional Chinese culture, men and women are kept at a distance, the so-called “teaching is not relative”, so the father-in-law and daughter-in-law will mostly avoid suspicion, so they often get along well.
But the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, both women, just in different capacities, one is the son’s wife and the other is the son’s mother, and if you don’t get it right, the mother-in-law will think that the son has married his daughter-in-law and forgotten her mother, so it must be the daughter-in-law who is bad.
And the daughter-in-law often thinks to herself that in the end she is not her mother-in-law’s own child, so it is not possible for her mother-in-law to really treat her as a relative.
They are not the only ones who have been in a position to do so.
There is no universal way to manage the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but we can explore the general rules of mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationships and get inspiration from them.
1. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in a family that knows how to love need not be deliberately and naturally good.
In fact, the family environment has a great impact on the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Although the daughter-in-law, as the daughter of another family, married over because of her son, should naturally become a family. In the eyes of the in-laws, it should be no different from the daughter or son itself.
Parents love their sons, sons love their parents, and daughters-in-law should enjoy the same treatment. In fact, a good family, mutual love is always reflected in equality, respect, consideration and tolerance, and when a daughter-in-law marries into such a family, it can only be with love if she wants to integrate into the family.
Otherwise, it will destroy the ecology of the whole family, naturally, not only for the in-laws, but even their own husbands may not buy it.
In a loving family, it is enough to treat people with sincerity, fairness and affection. So it is really a blessing for a woman to marry a good in-law.
2. In-laws and daughters-in-law whose elders are able to dominate tend to be at peace with each other.
The elders dominate the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship, which means that the mother-in-law has a higher status and identity and can be gracious and powerful. The mother-in-law may have an absolute advantage in terms of social status, economic status, and interpersonal relationships, while the daughter-in-law has to respect her in-laws in every way and still be careful about everything when she passes through the door.
If the daughter-in-law is secretly unfilial, the mother-in-law may criticize her directly, and the daughter-in-law must be convinced even if her heart is not convinced.
If you want to be a part of the world, you have to be a part of it.
3. Similarity of temperament often creates the best mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship in the world.
For those who have similar temperaments or want to have a good relationship with each other, it’s easy to get together, and it’s like they are born to be together. The two sides become closer especially because they love the same person.
The two sides might go out shopping together, go to some parties together, or activities like health clubs, and both stay together, both actively looking out for the other, and such a mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship can exist, though not too much. The reason why this relationship model is brought up is to show that in-laws and daughters-in-law with similar temperaments are the best.
How to achieve compatibility is also something to think about when it comes to mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships. Of course, there is a natural component to temperament, but there is also an acquired one, because nature cannot be changed, but love can be cultivated.
4. Pettiness is the main reason why mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get angry together.
Mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law get along as a family, but they are afraid that you think the other party is an outsider, thus suspecting, accusing, or cursing. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem of the problem.
In a bad mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship, we may find that both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are at fault. In fact, it is easy to be angry with people, often because one is not very temperamental, and naturally one tends to make a big deal out of small things, or even find fault with nothing and make it too much for oneself. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
5. Sons with conflicting mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationships often have the burden of coordination.
Sons are the link between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Therefore, if the son has a higher emotional intelligence, he will definitely play an important role in the management of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships. In fact, although fairness is important, using emotion is even more important.
If sons don’t understand this, it often makes the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law more tense. The fact is, how well is a family’s parenting? It’s all largely reflected in the sons.
The key for sons to be both fair and compassionate in the relationship between their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also their own wisdom and literacy, and their own special role to coordinate.
6. The mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship in which both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are spiteful is often irredeemable.
Families where the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a very bad relationship, as is usually the case, often the family relationship itself is dysfunctional, such families, which are already unsettled, now have an additional powerful, naturally more upscale and upgraded.
Some families, even if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are living separately, but still do not adhere to each other as enemies. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem.
The sons of such families are not much better, either they are wimps, eccentric, or have character defects.
In the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, the one who is close to the one who is not, in dealing with things, either adds fuel to the fire or sits back and watches the tiger fight, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law fight, and they are happy to watch the “big show”, which can kill anyone.