How do you feel when you mention your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend? Whether it’s an understatement or a heavy hum, there’s inevitably an emotion involved: unhappiness. The actual fact is that you can’t be sure that you’re going to be able to get a good deal on your own. It is the fear that she has taken over the boyfriend or husband’s heart. In other words, it is afraid that the ex-girlfriend will steal the man away. It’s normal to have concerns, but don’t let this ex-girlfriend phobia spread too far, or your hypotheticals will kill your love.
It is a tiny minority of people who can get married on their first love, and the vast majority have to deal with the inevitable fact of each other’s ex-girlfriends. Although rationally know that it is because of the former, after the previous relationship has come to an end, there will be the current one, there is now this relationship. The woman’s subtlety and insecurity is revealed when she is confronted with the word ex-girlfriend.
Xiao Xu and Xiao Chen have been together for a year, and they have a good relationship, but recently Xiao Xu heard a disturbing word in Xiao Chen’s mouth, ex-girlfriend. The two of them got together as soon as they entered the university, and later graduated before breaking up. Xiao Xu feels that the university is one of the most nostalgic times in life, and whenever Xiao Chen thinks of the university, there is always that woman. This makes Xiao Xu jealous.
Sometimes, Xiao Xu suspects that Xiao Chen has never gotten over that woman for a well-known reason. What about himself? What is in his heart? What to do?
Is Xiaoxu’s reaction to her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend familiar? If you encounter something similar, would you be the second Xiao Xu?
Usually, when a woman hears the word ex-girlfriend, she starts to get upset. If the word comes from the man next to her, this uneasiness can develop into an irritation. If the man scoffs at it, then the woman will keep brainstorming. It feels like a prelude to betrayal.
Is such agitation necessary? Probably ninety percent of women will feel that it is very necessary. STOP! Let’s break it down before we continue to brainstorm and argue.
First, let’s admit that there is indeed a type of man who is very amorous. This amorality refers to his pity for women. In front of the opposite sex that he does not know, he may be gentle and gentlemanly man. In the presence of a woman he knows and has feelings for, he is considerate and understanding.
Maybe he really still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend, or maybe he’s just treating her the way he normally would be treated but is misunderstood as begging to get back together, either way, it’s a violation of the current girlfriend’s rights. The company’s main goal is to provide a solution to the problem.
But this kind of counterattack we don’t recommend to show in an intense emotion. If you meet such an amorous man and want to continue to have him, the best way is to separate the two of them. In a kind of I’m your ex-girlfriend’s best friend posture in front of the man, what the ex-girlfriend needs, you actively help. In this way, men have no place to play, and naturally the two have no chance to get along. If it’s all about arguing and fighting with men, it will instead push them further away.
This kind of amorous men are generally in the minority. Most men have subtle feelings about their ex-girlfriends. In fact, the two are not even ordinary friends, if the other is really in trouble, within the limits of their ability, may help. If it’s a problem for their existing life, they won’t be so dry.
So, after grasping this mentality of men, you actually don’t need to panic so much as a current girlfriend. The man talked to you about his encounter with his ex-girlfriend, not necessarily not a report and report. It means to tell you that I have contact with my ex-girlfriend, but baby you don’t misunderstand. You ignored the meaning he wanted to express, but also identified this as a precursor to betrayal and resentment, what will men think? Normal people get misunderstood and get angry without a name.
“He/she just thought of me during the window because he/she broke up with the ex!” Often people get love but say this indignantly, which is really chilling. Unnecessary hatred and rivalry can quickly choke love to death. Pointless arguments and tears can completely consume the foundation of their relationship. Do you want that outcome?
Love has all sorts of beginnings, except for first love, which is instant, and the vast majority of people face the fact that the other person has an ex. The man of your dreams and ex break up to find yourself, the beautiful dream is becoming a reality, and it is a normal and effective strategy to start doing things right and make him feel more comfortable and fit in his current life.
And only if you recognize this, you won’t be full of resentment, as if he had original sin for not finding you in his first love and always blaming him for not getting over his ex. People have feelings and memories, they have loved people, of course, will leave information in the brain. You fear his ex, then, any attitude he has towards his ex, you will be afraid. He is cold and heartless to his ex, and you think, he will do the same to me in the future! He still has a soft spot for his ex, and you think, Sooner or later he’ll go back to his ex!
What do you really want, to drive him crazy? Yes, you’ll drive him crazy.
Women who get ex-phobia are too lacking in confidence. Others fall in love with you, it is because you deserve love. Perhaps you feel that the conditions are average, but others have a chemical reaction to you, should thank God to enjoy after. Lack of self-confidence, you constantly need each other coaxed, like a drug, the greater the dose of horseshit; they do not dare to act in their own right, always thinking of catering to him, playing an ideal self. This relationship is exhausting. In to both sides are physically and mentally exhausted, and how to maintain the energy of the two feelings? How can we continue to be together? It is inevitable that it will not last.
The past can’t be started all over again. The relationship you ruined with your ex’s fears has little chance of coming back. You also count something, having loved the people you love and knowing that a certain way of falling in love makes people miserable and can be avoided in the future. So, go on with your life, and over time, he will fade. There’s no need to deliberately forget, it’s normal to have someone you loved in your memory.
Still obsessing over your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend? There’s no need. You can dress up and hold hands with a man to meet her, just like meeting a common friend, nothing special. If you don’t take her seriously, she won’t be a problem for you. The most important thing is to hold on to the heart of this man around you, not to pay attention to some insignificant people and things around you.