Some people say that marriage is a tomb that you walk into and never get out, and some say that marriage is a paradise that makes you experience happiness and joy. But no matter what, getting married is something that needs to be carefully considered. You must consider these 15 questions before you get married, and by talking these 15 questions over with each other, you won’t panic when you actually face these questions in your marriage. And by talking these issues out, you will find that your future life will be much clearer.
What city are you settling in? Can you go to the other city to develop?
If both parties are not in the same city, which city to settle in is a top priority. Choose a city that you like each other and would like to settle in, and choose the city where your work and friends make you most comfortable. Buy a house and look more at the supporting plans around the house, especially the city, and choose the one that has the potential for appreciation, don’t buy a house blindly on impulse.
Can you give up your ideals and pursuits for your marriage? Respect each other’s careers or dreams? What level of support and encouragement can the other partner give when one partner is at a low point?
Marriage is about love and bread, and you need to consider whether your current jobs and careers are in conflict with each other. There are inevitable career lows, what do you do when the other person is in a slump? Many entrepreneurial men undoubtedly want their wives to support their current careers, even if it doesn’t bring material help, but it’s good to be by their side to encourage them when they’re in a tough spot.
Who is in charge of the money after marriage? Do I need a premarital property notarization?
While it is true that talking about money hurts relationships, financial issues are something that must be considered. Some people may feel uncomfortable with prenuptial property notarization, prenuptial agreements, etc., but it’s better to be prepared than sorry, it’s the same thing as buying insurance. Of course if one is willing to start a life with someone, two things must never let up: one is to give the other person full trust, and the other is to never give up on improving your own abilities.
How about a house contribution ration? Whose name is on the property deed? Do you want to live with your parents?
Mother-in-law issues and house issues are the two main reasons why many people can’t get married, and these issues must be discussed in advance.
What if your parents don’t agree?
What do both parents think about each other, do they agree with each other’s marriage, and if not, do they stay married? How do you plan to get through to your parents after you get married and how do you get along with each other’s parents?
Questions about children? How many to have? Who takes them?
Think ahead about kids, too, and if the other person has to have a son, it’s advisable to retreat early. If there is a person to bring up the child full time, then choose that low wage to compromise. Because income, for families with children is important, very important, very important. If you choose to have a parent help out, the first rule of communication is: speak in a gentle tone, otherwise, the whole family, is embarrassed.
Find out if the other person is healthy, if they have a history of genetic disease, if they are fertile, and if they are accepting to continue the marriage if one of them is unable to have children?
These health issues also need to be considered clearly, and although marriage testing is not mandatory now, it is advisable for both parties to get checked out and enter into marriage with both parties knowing about each other’s health.
Are you willing to be honest about your sexual history, relationship history, and other intimate and private issues?
Be honest about everything, because hiding it means a million lies and getting tired of yourself. You are not an actor, don’t design those plots.
How are the chores divided? Whose family do you spend your holiday days with?
Talk about everything, don’t make up your own mind. In marriage, the most taboo thing is to make the first move and always find out what the other person thinks before making a decision.
Where are the boundaries for friends of the opposite sex?
If you love, love deeply, and if you don’t, say so before it’s too late. Especially couple boundaries, understanding how the other person gets along with friends of the opposite sex, what behavior they get jealous of, unhappy with, etc.
How do you want to resolve a fight?
For example, some couples will agree on how to handle a fight, even if the wife is at fault, the husband has to coax his wife, not to ignore her, etc.
How do you support both parents? Who will take care of one parent when they have a major illness or are unable to care for themselves?
Plan ahead so you don’t panic when the time comes.
What’s your bottom line? What is that thing that you will never give up because of your marriage?
People must have a bottom line, inform each other in advance of your bottom line, and if the other party knowingly still crosses the line, then it is necessary to immediately walk away non-negotiable, absolutely intolerable, for example, domestic violence.
What is the thing that bothers you most about my family?
There must be a lot of issues in your family of origin that you don’t like to see, and talking to each other about it can be avoided and fixed. After all, we live with different experiences, but after marriage, the problems of the two families of origin will surface, and these hidden dangers, which must be in places you can’t see, are poised for a big explosion and can be solved before it’s too late.