But once you start to condone this kind of behavior, it will be easy for him to become bullying. Similarly, if you keep blackmailing each other and being overbearing and unreasonable, he will start to resist. What is the best way to meet this limit of patience?
6 Limits of Tolerance in Marriage
1 Understand that “you are not me”.
Even if we’re tied together 24/7, we’re still two separate individuals. When setting boundaries, one cannot be completely self-centered and see the other as subordinate. If you can think more from the other person’s position and perspective, you won’t be too paranoid and one-sided.
2 There has to be a consequence behind every boundary.
Boundaries without consequences in fact end up as complaints and do nothing to improve the state of your marriage. So, you need to understand what kind of boundary you need to draw for a consequence.
3 Think deeply before you make a decision.
Don’t make impulsive decisions in a fit of rage because your goal is not to get even with the other person, but to overcome evil with good. The more calmly and comprehensively you think, the more you can come to rational, fair conclusions, and the more effective the boundaries you set will be in The more calmly and comprehensively you think, the more you can come to rational, fair conclusions, and the more effective the boundaries you set will be in helping you improve your relationship.
4Implement immediately.
When the other person does something inappropriate, you need to enforce your boundaries immediately. For example, the boundary you set for yourself is to distance yourself from him whenever he makes unreasonable demands of you. When he resorts to his old tricks, you better enforce your boundaries immediately so that he understands more quickly what the consequences of his behavior will be.
5 No double standards.
The same thing that’s okay for you is not okay for the other person, and the line loses its fairness. Therefore, it is the physical action that will keep the boundaries working well.
6 Look for help from a trusted third party.
We’ve all had similar experiences of being cranky and simply not being able to say three words peacefully, so when it comes time to determine some truth and set up rules, ask a close friend or family member you trust to be there to testify.