i was 10 when my dad made me touch him in my “sleep” i wasnt really asleep, i was just too scared to speak up so i pretended. he started getting closer to my pussy but then he stopped. at the time, a part of me really wanted him to touch me but i also felt gross wanting it. a little after that i started talking to older guys on discord and started sharing nudes having phone sex and sending vids of myself. one taught me how to cum and i felt so good. i need that again so bad. i have nobody to talk or do this stuff with anymore. i just really want an older guy or lady to fuck nd touch me like a little slut and do whatever they want to me even if i say no. i wouldnt want my dad to, just anybody at any age. i feel really ashamed about wanting it but i cant stop myself its just something that i need and want so bad. my pussy gets so wet when older people talk about what theyve done with little girls and girls my age. i feel jealous as well because those girl get treated so good and they dont even know it. id do anything so that i could get raped and used like a cum dumpster. ive never got fucked before but ik it would feel so painful and good at the same time. thinking about somebody pounding me over and over again slapping and choking me turns me on so much. sometimes i think about my dad touching my pussy and fucking me but then i feel really gross after bcs thats my dad and he molested me. i just have mixed feelings about him. but i still really want a guy or really anybody to just kidnap me to just use me as a play thing. i fantasize about getting gang raped and tied up at the same time something about giving and receiving pleasure at the same time turns me on so much.
i feel like being used and giving guys pleasure is what im made to do, like im not meant for anything else but that