RealSimple.com interviews a comedian couple who have been married for over 10 years to find out how they still keep each other smiling after years of living together. How do they keep each other smiling? It’s said that by fine-tuning 10 details in their daily lives, they can keep their marriage standing and not go to the grave.
1. Recognize that having common standards for family matters is optional
1. If you and your significant other can agree on a definition of “clean,” then there should be nothing under the sun that you can’t handle. If you’re a person who vacuums once a week but can’t stand having hair on the floor, you have to understand that 50-60 hairs a day is normal, and unless you and your significant other plan to wear dust caps to live together, you may have to take the initiative to vacuum the floor 1 to 2 times a day. If you are the kind of person who can turn a blind eye to dirty dishes in the sink or grease stains on the table, you have to find a way to improve your own hygiene standards.
2. If your significant other messes with you, think of him as a little kid
It may sound unconstructive to you, but you may find a “cute side” to the other person as a result. The next time the husband does nothing at home and plays a game on his phone, imagine that he is only 5 years old and not a middle-aged man who has yet to take out the garbage, do the dishes, or hang out the laundry, and you will not find him so repulsive. When your wife doesn’t turn off the lights, or buys new expensive pots and pans or new shoes, it doesn’t matter if she’s spending your money or not, imagine her as a five year old girl in that moment and you’ll think “she’s happy.
3. When buying gifts for each other, don’t buy things that “you can use together” or “have an ulterior motive. “
When you buy a dishwasher or oven for your wife, she may be happy, but if it’s in the name of a birthday gift or anniversary, she won’t necessarily appreciate it. It is also like the wife gave Mr. a vacuum cleaner (the purpose is to ask him to vacuum the floor more), it is not as sweet as giving him his favorite camera, game console, because your gift expresses “I love you, but more importantly, I understand you! It’s not easy for an old married couple to please each other, but it’s also worth the effort because they’ve been together for so long.
4. It’s good to have a backbone, but be flexible with your significant other
Take turns backing off, not “I’m in charge” and “I’m the one who’s right” every time. Unlike outsiders, showing weakness to your significant other is a sign of love and pampering. “The first time I saw the movie, I had to go to the movies with you, and the next time I go out on a date, you have to watch a romantic comedy with me.
5. Your significant other can’t talk to you without an eye meeting, and it’s better if you can hold his hand
We all have endless work and family stuff to do, but being too busy to see each other and hold hands with each other is an excuse that breaks our hearts to hear, and we just don’t do that with our kids. So put down the phone, the task at hand, and get to know what’s going on with him. When you’re depressed, skip the cooking and call pizza and nestle on the couch and watch a movie together.
6. Accept that your significant other wants to spend more time in the bathroom
Sometimes we just want to be left alone in the bathroom, undisturbed for 45 minutes. So it doesn’t matter if your significant other wants to escape you for a bit (but only in your own bathroom). No one is perfect, and we all have times when we get bored and can’t stand it, so don’t keep pushing him to get out quickly and force him to run further and further away.
7. Don’t argue in a confined, small space
Two people will argue. When two people get into a fight, sometimes it doesn’t have to be the thing you’re fighting about that pisses you off, it’s the space you’re in that makes you feel trapped. When you see that something is not right, go to a park or green space near your home and sit together before you talk about it. Nature has a healing effect, a wide open space, a breeze, a few bird cries, all help to quench anger and stabilize the mood. A little more oxygen in the outdoors will also help clear your mind.
8. Don’t keep burping and farting in front of each other, keep 10% of the mystery to yourself
8. align:left;”>While relaxing in front of your family is intimate, watching each other cut nose hair or remove body hair on a regular basis is really damaging to your sex appeal. The other half is not your mom and dad, after all, and too many naked, disillusioned details can defeat love.
9. Don’t get upset in front of your friends and family
After all, friends and family
For one thing, it’s hard to say and take sides; for another, everyone is happy to be at the party, and you shouldn’t want to be labeled as the “party-ending couple.
10. A sexless marriage is hardly a happy couple
Even if
Even if you can’t have sex for some reason, it’s important to let each other know that you want or are looking forward to the next intimate time, and sending each other provocative messages can help heat up the relationship.