Z lives next door to me, we are sharing a house, Z’s mantra is: people, either big vulgar, or big elegant, caught in the middle of half vulgar not elegant most annoying! He also found a wife who is as vulgar as he is, the husband and wife follow each other. The following are some of their conversations during the day, absolutely true.
Z most like to touch his wife’s grandmother (breasts), every day after dinner, Z wife will be in the living room watching TV series, generally at this time, Z will lie on the sofa, head resting on his wife’s thighs, hands inside his wife’s pajamas pinch pinch pinch, pinch, with the kneading dough, the mouth will also be rhythmic shouting: touch grandmother! Touch grandmother (shouting tone with the war film shouting “punch ah” similar, but with the flavor of screaming sex in the excitement)
Z’s wife is completely immersed in the drama, with the development of the plot, a moment of sadness, a moment of laughter, only in the commercial time to come back to touch Z’s head and say: good boy, touch the left side of this, this big point! Even if I’m next to Z, I’m still touching it, and when I’m happy, I’ll be warmly invited: xx, come on, give me 50W game coins (Z and I are playing the same online game), and touch my wife’s grandmother!
Sweat!
Once at home together, Z wife wearing low-cut suspenders sitting opposite me, leaning forward to clip the food, two grandmother by my eyes (Z wife’s grandmother indeed dopa suitable, and round and upright, no wonder Z his wife is keen on this) eat a while, Z found my eyes not right, a hand over the Z wife’s chest, and then to Z wife on the scolding: wearing chuizi low-breasted, are finished looking!
When I was embarrassed, Z wife gently Z’s hand away, gently and quite a great general said to me: xx, no relationship, I do not have a bra at home in the summer, you feel free to look!
Z is speechless, I am also speechless.
The first day after dinner on the street for a walk, Z suddenly turned his head with a flattering and Y D smile to Z wife said: wife, tonight we go home day P. Z is a loud voice, plus usually at home without restraint shouting touch grandmother shouting habit, so the voice size is not controlled, immediately attracting the astonished gaze of passers-by, Z himself also feel a little too, turned his head back to walk honestly, only Z wife is very The only one who is calm and continues to respond to Z’s proposal: Yes, go back tonight and do a big job!
Sweat!
Once Z’s wife said Z was not capable.
Z sophomoric: I call three times a night!
Z wife: is only three minutes at a time, will P mouth, you have to one day to dry the mother to a few days can not get out of bed even if you are fierce!
Z wife often complained to me in front of Z, saying Z is too fat, do not love to move, even ZUOAI is not keen, only love to touch her grandmother, even ZUOAI are her on top, Z on all fours lying on the bed, not moving, at her mercy.
I think the subtext of Z’s wife is: such a man, it’s a fucking ZIWEI stick, or inferior.
I asked them about how often ZUOAI once, Z wife said a month is also very difficult to come once, said after cursing a very classic phrase – a month are less than once, MD, even menstruation is worse!
I hate this time! Z fat like a pig, actually looking for a figure of hot women, the most hateful is also standing bucket toilet not nest shit! I also hate myself for not having a field to plow with all my strength!
Z’s wife is particularly good at eating.
Once Z wife in front of Z petulantly said: find the bucket I such a woman as a wife count your luck, other women, moving to shout at you please eat Western food, I can get rid of every day buns steamed buns, how good to raise ah.
Z is furious: good to raise a CHUIZI, you bun buns are to give me to eat out of the price of Western food!
Z wife once and colleagues to sing, very late did not return, Z a phone call over: what are you doing?
Z wife: and colleagues in the KTV singing.
Z raised his voice and asked: Is there a man touching his grandmother?
Z wife: they want to touch, I did not do.
Z: Well, well. You can hang up!
The other night, Z wife in the bedroom to concentrate on playing a series of look, Z walked in a grab Z wife’s grandmother said: hurry up and take a shower!
Z wife did not raise her head to answer: early, later to wash.
Z increased the strength to grab the grandmother said: immediately go to wash, wash to KOUJIAO!
Once I asked Z wife: you and your husband that not?
Z wife: which?
I: is …… en …… (pointed to the mouth. (Familiar to familiar, spontaneous to spontaneous, this kind of problem is still not very good to speak directly)
Z wife perception is very high, immediately understood: Oh, you said KOUJIAO ah, to! (very dry)
I: ……
Z wife: but usually I give him KOUJIAO, he never give me KOUJIAO, that P man, never do the loss of things!
Me: …
Once we watched the cultural evening together in the living room, Zhang Yu came out to sing “good intentions
Z stopped himself at once in Z wife’s pajamas squirming hands and said: wife!
Z wife: En ……
Z: you say you, is a virgin, biased to find me to day P, inserted, pull out, really feel good pain (with the “good intentions” tune to sing)
PS: Afterwards I asked Z, where did you learn it from, he said he improvised, I think Z is very strong!
One night, I was sleeping in my own house, and in the middle of the night, Z came knocking on my bedroom door: Open the door!
Me: What’s up?
Z: Open the door and talk, it’s urgent!
I opened the door, Z poked a head in and said mysteriously: I’m about to have a P with my wife, you pointed ears to listen to ha!
Once I a buddy to my home to stay overnight, because we came home late, Z and Z wife has gone to bed, do not know that the family came to outsiders.
The next morning, half-asleep, I heard Z’s wife “ah” yell, I jumped up from the bed and saw my buddy’s face full of embarrassment from the living room. I went out and saw Z wife wearing only panties and bra (very sexy kind, openwork) standing living room, this time Z also came out, very serious question: what is it?
Z wife: I just came out of the shower …… (because too familiar, Z wife in front of me very spontaneous, but in front of outsiders, how much is still a little embarrassed)
At that time I also feel a little embarrassed, Z’s face is also a little wrong, I was about to explain to Z that my friend did not mean to, did not wait for me to open my mouth, Z pointed to Z wife cursed open: MMP, early in the morning Ba morning on a shock, called a CHUIZI ah, sleep is not quiet, you are not nothing to wear.
Z wife is a shopaholic, once a person out shopping, bought a dress more than 800 back, Z take a look at the rage, scold: you P mother-in-law is a loser, luxury! Extravagant to live!
Z wife immediately scolded back: you a P man ball out of breath no, money can not earn, you the same luxury!
Z anxious: I how extravagant, I how extravagant, I earn 2000 a month, you have to buy clothes are cut off half, causing me to smoke only five cows!
Z’s wife: spend a few hundred of your what, nothing to do with catching the old lady’s grandmother touch, not to pay the instigation! You earn 2,000 a month you dare to find a month to spend 1,000 mothers, you do not call luxury called what?
Z: ……
The day after the two quarrel, Z wife on the gas cut away to 11 p.m. have not yet returned home. z at home a little sitting up, the game is not in the mood to play, asked me: that big grandmother mother Nim late in the evening outside will not be touched grandmother right?
I replied: you worry about a phone call over to ask!
Z said: play hair line, this time absolutely no compromise, this compromise, the next time she dares to buy you a piece of 1800 back.
Almost 12 o’clock at night, Z’s wife called, before answering the phone, Z proudly said to me: the principle of the issue, absolutely do not compromise, see the bucket did not, that ha mother-in-law called to apologize for it!
Answer the phone, just say two sentences, Z on the ghost of the fire to mix the phone to the bed, cursing: the dog RI gua bitch, Yin Yang called me that she went to buy a pair of more than 500 pants at night!
One day when eating dinner, Z said to Z wife: honey, later after dinner we go to the park, what?
Z wife very happy to say: ah! Boy, you usually only know every day at home playing games, how good today, want to take me for a walk it? I want to take me for a walk.
Z: wife, you misunderstood, not to go for a walk, I want to play “field”!
Z wife: ……
One Sunday, Z and I went to the street to buy something, walked downstairs, far away from a small girl wearing low-cut, Z and I are staring at the little sister’s chest. After approaching, Z said to me with tears and laughter: I remember what I just did, so disgusting! )
I was baffled when I heard the low-breasted sister shouting towards Z: brother! (His sister recently permed her hair and makeup, Z did not recognize it from afar)
Put yourself in the position of thinking, is fucking disgusting enough.
Z sister that night to live with us, and Z wife to sleep together, Z sleep living room, Z sister and Z wife to change pajamas, is ready to close the door to sleep, Z a yell: not busy off!
Z wife: what else is going on?
Z: before going to bed and then touch the grandmother!
Sweat!
One day Z wife very active to Z said: good boy, go to the shower, wash to KOUJIAO.
The day the Z wife was very contemptuous looking at the Z wife: you this mother-in-law really vulgar, not moving to say KOUJIAO.
Z wife: you do not also often say!
Z: now I do not say KOUJIAO, now popular to say oral explosion!
Early one morning, Z’s wife screamed in the washroom: “Oh! Boy, my mouth is bleeding.
Z is sleeping in a daze in bed, impatient, said: you have to come once a month, what’s all the fuss about!
Z’s wife: It’s the top!
Z: Oh, no matter, that is KOUJIAO after-effects!
One day, Z wife said to Z: our unit there is a man who wants to pick me up, about me tonight for dinner.
Z: not allowed to go.
Z wife: don’t worry, not let him touch grandma, just eat a meal!
Z: En ……
Z wife came back in the evening.
Z: Did you touch your grandmother?
The actual fact is that you will be able to find a lot of people who are not able to get a good deal on this.
Z grabbed it and ate it up with gusto.
A few days later.
Z wife: the last time the man asked me to go singing again.
Z: Which man?
The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do.
Z: Oh, go ahead, play happy.
In the evening, Z wife brought back a bunch of food, Z still asked whether it was touched, Z wife replied no. After a few more days, Z wife was asked if she had been touched.
Another few days apart.
Z wife: the man asked me again tonight.
Z: not allowed to go.
Z wife: I’ll bring you back good food.
Z: you dare to go to the foot to you break, things only three, today again to go to you a ha woman to call eat. (It seems that Z is to understand that there is no free lunch in the world this truth)
Z wife in the company is a clerk, once back from work.
Z wife: today I accompanied our department manager to talk about customers, the customer’s color, has been lecherous stare bucket my chest look.
Z full of concern to answer: that shout your grandmother think big?
Z wife: not you to the mother RUA big!
Z continued to ask: He son of a bitch is not trying to call you to eat well?
Z wife: there is that meaning. After dinner he also asked me if I was a virgin, I did not answer him.
Z lewdly smiled and said: you a ha bitch, why do not you answer him, later he wants to ask you again, you said you are at, absolutely at, but is pretending to be at!
Z’s wife replied even more forcefully: virginity! You son of a bitch is still a virgin!
Sweat!
One day when I got home, Z said to me proudly: I was with my wife this afternoon.
I asked Z wife: really wow? (Z often lie about the military, so generally I will ask Z wife for confirmation.
Z wife smiled and replied: today is true.
I: Yo, this month’s indicators are used in advance of the abet?
Z: Ha ha, afraid you do not believe, I recorded my wife’s voice screaming, a full 30 minutes! I have the evidence in hand today! See if you do not admit (do not know also think I and Z wife cheating was caught fighting.
I did not have time to speak, Z wife inserted a sentence: do not believe him, just 3 minutes, he pressed the repeat play ……
One time Z came back from a business trip, full of energy, invited several of our friends to rub a meal. During the meal, a friend jokingly asked: Z, your child this time out more than half to find a lady.
Z wife was next to, so Z quickly said: no no, this time to go very busy, time is very tight, where there is time to find a lady oh!
Z wife then stopped chopsticks towards Z sourly said a: busy? Three minutes you can not get out of the abet?
