For a long time, my firm belief in relationships was to go with the flow. If a man and a woman are really compatible, then they don’t need to do anything on purpose, they will always be together.
I believed that “when it comes, you don’t need to do anything, you can’t stop it”.
But when I started a real relationship and looked back at the whole process from unfamiliarity to familiarity to intimacy, I realized that falling in love is not an effortless thing, but rather a mind-numbing and energy-consuming thing.
For a long time, we all loved to say that a good relationship is one where we don’t get tired of getting along, and we all wanted to get the relationship we wanted easily without having to make any effort, and to fall in love with the person we wanted to love. We all think that this kind of comfortable but not exhausting relationship is the best relationship.
But, after falling in love, we realize that love is also something that requires two people to work together.
More importantly, a relationship that requires effort is not necessarily a bad one either.
There is no such thing as a relationship that is easy to get and worthwhile. This applies to love, and to all relationships.
1. Being in a relationship is something that requires you to step out of your comfort zone
My boyfriend said he had a big internal struggle when he first asked me out to dinner. The company’s main goal is to provide a platform for the development of a new product, which will be a new product.
He said he was ready to be rejected by me, but he didn’t expect me to say “yes, come on then” to him.
What I didn’t tell him on the B side of the story is that I was hesitant to say yes or no when I got his message. The company’s main goal is to provide a platform for the development of a new product. The company’s main goal is to provide a platform for the development of a new generation of companies that will be able to meet the needs of their customers.
I used to be a socially lazy person, and I would simply refuse anyone who asked me to meet on the fly without making an appointment with me in advance and giving me time to mentally build up. But that time, after a moment of hesitation, after thinking that I might need to go out of my comfort zone for the next few hours to meet someone I didn’t know very well, to do something I didn’t really know the outcome of, I pretended to be calm and said, “Sure, you can do it”.
But thanks to the bravery of both of us, we were able to overcome our uncertainty with determination, and that’s how the rest of the story came about.
Any relationship that goes from zero to one requires us to do something that we weren’t as familiar with before when we took that step from zero to one. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
They are the most important things to know about each other.
The first time you meet, the first time you hold hands, the first time you hug, the first time you kiss, the first time you love the person in front of you, all of these feelings are unfamiliar and require you and the other person to work together to unlock a level. The process is new and a little uncomfortable, but all the emotions add up, for better or worse, to what love looks like for you and the person in front of you.
Love in the world is similar, the only thing that is different is the love pattern of these two people who are in love, and the way they approach this love of theirs.
2. Being in love is something that needs to be managed seriously
I always heard that relationships need to be managed, but to be honest, I don’t really know how to manage them, and I always feel that the word “management” is very advanced.
Now I understand that the “management” of a relationship is not as cold as we think.
In the literary sense, “managing” means cherishing each other and the relationship.
Rationally, “managing” is when two people who love each other make your rules together.
There really is no such thing as a “perfect match” in this world.
In a relationship, whether it’s the one who shows love and praises his other half for being considerate, or the one who is shown love, behind the love we envy is the result of two people in love working hard for each other.
In a healthy and lasting relationship, there is no such thing as one partner sitting on the sidelines or giving one-sidedly all the time. A mutually preferred model of love is definitely one that both people develop together.
Like when my boyfriend and I were first getting together, we were jokingly talking once and I deliberately said, “I’m going to get angry,” and he joked, “So, you’re going to hang up on me. I told him seriously, “At any time, no matter how angry and emotional I am, I will not hang up on you directly for no reason, and you can not hang up on me directly without saying a word, because once this bad habit starts the first time, there will be a second and third …… many times, I do not want us to I don’t want us to have such a bad pattern of getting along with each other, better not even once”. He said very seriously, good.
When we weren’t in a relationship together yet, the boy called me one night, I initiated a phone call with him the next night, and he called me again the third day. The third day of the phone call, I jokingly asked the boy “why did you call me again today”. The boy said, “Since we were on the phone two nights ago, there is already such a pattern, so let’s make it a habit”. I said, you’d better remember what you said, I’m very easy to take seriously. The first time I saw it, I had to go back to the beginning.
So now every night, whether the other side is busy or not, will take the time to talk to each other as much as possible, and several times he was busy catching up on materials, I was busy writing, we still called each other on time, but each other very tacitly understand, and do not have to drag each other to talk to themselves, but listen to each other’s voice on the keyboard, busy with their own things, occasionally free to chat a few, after chatting and busy with their own. The company’s main goal is to provide a platform for the development of a new product.
After we fell in love, I felt more than once that we were comfortable with each other, but I no longer attribute our comfort to “he’s good enough”, “I’m good enough”, or “we’re good enough”. “I know it’s all about him being just right and me being just sweet, but I’d rather say that we’re comfortable enough because we’re working hard for each other, because we value the person in front of us, and because we value the relationship enough.
I’d like to say that we’re comfortable enough with each other because we’re working hard, because we value the person in front of us, and because we value the relationship enough.
3. Being in love is sweet, but it can also be sad
Being in love with someone you like is in a way like being with your friends and your family, there are many sweet and beautiful moments, but there are also inevitably some arguments and some sadness.
When we think of the word “love”, we think of “sweet love”, and in many people’s minds or expectations, we always think that a good relationship is sweet, and we expect the ideal relationship to be sweet.
But this is a misconception.
In a real relationship, there can’t and won’t always be just one emotion, and a real relationship will have a lot of very sweet moments, but it will also have some very heartbreaking moments. We can’t say that sweet is always the best, and we can’t absolutely say that heartbreak is always bad. In a relationship, what matters is not the emotions of “sweet” and “heartbreak” per se, but how the two people in the relationship respond to them.
The relationship is not about the emotions of “sweetness” and “heartbreak” per se, but about how the two people in the relationship respond to that “sweetness” and “heartbreak.
There have been many sweet moments with the boy I like, but I can also admit that there have been occasional moments when I’ve been sad. Especially when we first got together, because we liked him so much, we occasionally got insecure and had a meltdown with him, and that time was really sad too. The good thing about the boy is that he felt my sadness, he understood what I wanted the relationship to be like, and then very seriously told me “I will try to give you security in the future”. And then he did.
What I’m trying to say is thatbeing in a relationship is a game that requires moving your heart to get started, and moving your heart is a risky thing in itself. Once you try to put your heart into another person, once you like another person, you are giving part of yourself emotionally to that person, and some moments you will inevitably be happy or sad about something the other person does.
If the person you fall in love with is emotionally stable and happens to be nice enough to appreciate your relationship more, then you are lucky that the person you love brings you more sweetness and peace of mind in the relationship than the sad moments. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers.
But in the heart-to-heart game of relationships, you’re always going to have some sad moments. It just varies.
Have good expectations of love, but don’t be too idealistic. Be romantic and be realistic.
4. Falling in love is a matter of “compromise”
Many people see the word “compromise” and think it’s bad.
Even with some “toxic chicken soup”, many young people think that if someone really likes me, then they don’t need me to compromise, they need to accept me as I am, and if they can’t even accept me as I am, then they don’t need to say they like me.
It’s also true that when we like someone at a young age, we need them to love us unconditionally, and we want them to like me for my strengths, but we also want them to like us for our weaknesses. We hope that the other party will spoil me unconditionally, we do not know and will not think whether the other party will be tired of paying for us all the time, but we will stubbornly feel that “if a person really likes us, then they will be willing to do this for us, if the other party is not willing to do this for us, then they do not love us enough”; we do not We don’t like compromising relationships, and anything that makes us feel like we’re compromising a little bit, or that we need to make concessions, makes us feel bad about the relationship, or even makes us feel like we’re losing out, and that’s not good.
This is what it’s like to like someone when we’re young.
But, now that we’re older, our view of romantic relationships has completely changed.
I also hope that the person I like will be nice to me, but I won’t just enjoy his goodness, but I will see what he gives, cherish what he gives, and be nice and attentive to him as well.
I believe there are flaws in everyone, in him and in me, but I wouldn’t want to change him, and I wouldn’t want him to love me for all my flaws, “flaws” are not something to show off or be loved for, I just want us to respect each other as we are. If one day we suddenly don’t like some of our own appearance, then adjust yourself, if you have always felt this is good, then it’s okay, then so be it, as long as we get along with each other, originally very arrogant also have a lot of small temper I am willing to converse for you, occasionally can also lower the head, originally must do that thing you can also make a special moment for me once or twice
I don’t need a perfect lover, and I don’t get to be the perfect other half. We’re both just right, and that’s good enough.
I was talking to my boyfriend a while ago about a certain topic, and he suddenly said that in any relationship, there is a need for mutual compromise. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers. Although the boyfriend did not say anything, but I can feel that he heard me say this sentence, there is a little bit of surprise, as well as surprise. I’m sure he’s secretly happy, “Good, I approve of this”. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
I don’t mind making some concessions or compromises in love as long as the other person is really worth it and as long as I really care about the relationship.
And, in my mind, it’s not the “compromise” that matters, it’s the fact that we’re both willing to taper for each other at the right time, to bow our heads once in a while, and to say “I wish you could love me more” once in a while. The first time I saw this, I was able to get a little bit more out of it.
If I had to summarize what I have learned from being in love, it would be this:
I finally realized that just like how we do function problems, learn spss, or even learn to cook, it takes time, effort, and thought, and requires a lot of dedication and practice to learn, being in love is not something that we can really be happy with. The actual fact is that you will be able to be happy if you go with the flow. Love is a very complicated thing, but it’s also beautiful enough to be taken seriously.
They’re not the only ones who have been in love for a long time.
I never think it’s easy to fall in love, it’s really a lot of trouble, but I’m willing to try to take that trouble for the sake of that person. Although I am not a person who loves to play challenging games, I am willing to go with him to unlock more troublesome levels of life. I’m also a person who is afraid of failing and screwing up a lot of things, and a lot of times I simply give up trying because I’m afraid of screwing something up, but because of him, I’m willing to try to do the things that would scare me, and I’m willing to try to figure out how to get the ending a little bit closer to the good one we both want.
As much as I originally loved the world, I seem to love it more after being with him.
Getting more fearless and occasionally more timid.
Perhaps that’s liking.