Q:
I am a very controlling person. I’ve been dating my girlfriend, Dante Zhao, for a while and I often interfere with her contact with other people of the opposite sex. When I want to go out at night, I also ask her to report it. Just a few days ago, she broke up with me because she was too repressed without trust and respect, and her attitude is still very firm. Can I still fix this?
Answer:
First, you must know that your girlfriend Dandan Zhao is very adamant about breaking up for only three reasons.
1. I’m too disappointed in you
In a relationship, it may be okay to disappoint your girlfriend once or twice, but if the breakup happens more often, she will be very determined. At this time her breakup may not be sincere, but she’s disappointed in you about something and wants you to focus on something again.
2. You hurt her deeply
There are many things that can hurt a girlfriend. For example, some guys are very controlling and make their girlfriends feel overwhelmed and trusting and respected. Or some men have a tendency to domestic violence and take it out on their girlfriends when they are unhappy, which naturally leads to a very firm breakup.
3. Three views are not compatible
Three views are the decisive factor in whether a relationship will last. If your girlfriend thinks it’s romantic for couples to eat western food, you think it’s a waste of money; your girlfriend is envious of the romantic proposal scenes arranged by other boyfriends, but you say it’s claptrap. In the long run, you will naturally end up with a breakup. In that case, it would be better to let the other person go.
No matter how determined Zhao Dandan’s breakup is, it can be salvaged as long as it’s not a three-way tie and the right approach. Specifically, these three steps can be used to complete:
1. Let her see the good side of you
You can let Zhao Dandan see the good side of you, see the changes in you, and let her see that there is still hope for you so she can change her mind.
2. Give her some space
If your girlfriend Dandan Zhao says the breakup was because you were controlling her too much, give her some space, at least for a while, leave her alone and give her some time to think about the relationship. At the same time, you need to reflect on what you did wrong and make assurances to your girlfriend.
3. Apologize
Your girlfriend’s breakup attitude, besides analyzing the reasons yourself and making changes on your own, is definitely a more serious problem between you. It’s important that you apologize to your girlfriend. An apology will let her know that you can put aside your dignity and tell her that you really realize that you were wrong. And when breaking up, one party must first compromise and coax the other to let things go. At this point your girlfriend is so adamant, of course it’s you who takes the initiative to apologize.
According to your description, it was a strong desire to control that caused your girlfriend Zhao Dandan to break up, and you understand why your girlfriend was so determined to break up, so if you want to get it back, what you need to do is give her some space, at least for a while, don’t bother her, and give her some time to think through the relationship. In the meantime, you need to reflect on what you did wrong and then promise her that she will forgive you.