How to manage bad emotions: Don’t spread bad emotions to others
Introduction: People can’t always be in good emotions, and since there are frustrations and troubles in life, there will be negative emotions. A mentally mature person is not someone who does not have negative emotions, but someone who is good at regulating and controlling his or her emotions. Today inspirational storytelling.com shares some life lessons on managing personal emotions, hope it will be helpful to you.
Part I
First, recognize emotions.
Psychology suggests that emotions are not directly caused by the precipitating event itself, but by the interpretation and evaluation of that event by the individual experiencing it. This is the well-known theory of emotions (ABC theory). For example, the individual feels inferior because he/she thinks he/she is incompetent because he/she has done something wrong. The theory suggests that changing your interpretation and evaluation of the event will change the emotional experience you experience.
Second, develop a positive mindset.
Two things need to be done: First, you need to understand that the production of emotions is a normal physiological phenomenon, an outward expression of whether your internal needs are being met. Therefore, you need to have a clear understanding of what your needs are? The second is to be good at extracting positive information from negative events, and any event will have both positive and negative information.
Third, the four no’s should be adhered to in the face of negative events
No blaming: Blaming stimulates the other person’s self-defense mechanism and is ineffective in solving the problem. Instead, describe the incident clearly and express your feelings and hopes honestly.
No avoidance: The only way to grow is to face it. Anorexia and Internet addiction are avoidance strategies when faced with negative events.
Not forgetting: The more you try to forget, the more you can’t. Acknowledge the negative event and do what you need to do in the moment.
Not to delegate: To delegate means to give up your own interests to get certain outcomes, while not to delegate is to save yourself without hurting others and to do what you want to do and can do.
Fourth, de-escalate your emotions in an appropriate way.
The way to work through your emotions is to do so in a way that doesn’t hurt others. The first thing you can do is to have a good cry, talk to a close friend, go shopping, listen to music, exercise, etc. The worse way is to drink, ride a car, or even commit suicide. The purpose of de-escalation is to give yourself a chance to sort out your thoughts, to make yourself feel better, and to give yourself more energy to face the future. When you feel uncomfortable, be brave and think carefully about why you are so upset and angry. What can I do to avoid repeating the same thing in the future? What can I do to reduce my unhappiness? Will doing so bring more harm? By choosing what works for you and what works for you, you will be able to control your emotions instead of letting them control you!
Part 2
First, be aware of your emotions and remind yourself of them: “Am I in a mood? For example, when a friend is late for a date and has a cold conversation, ask yourself: “What am I doing? How do I feel now? The first step is to learn to be aware of your emotions and to manage them. I’m worried about an accident on the road after the appointed time” Try to convey the feeling of “I’m so worried” to let understand that being late will bring feelings appropriately expressed? Example: Accusation: “Every time you are late for a date, you think about how I feel? When blaming the other party, it can also cause negative emotions, and you will become a hedgehog busy defending yourself from external attacks, not being able to stand and think about the response: “There is a traffic jam! Is there any way I can be on time? The two of them started to quarrel, not to mention a happy date. The art of “proper expression” of emotions requires attentiveness and understanding, and more importantly, to actually use life
Third, the appropriate way to relieve emotions There are many ways to relieve emotions Some people will cry in pain, others will find three or five friends to complain, others will go shopping, listen to music, take a walk or force themselves to do something else to avoid always remembering the pleasant and worse way to drink, race or even kill themselves. To remind you to relieve emotions aimed at giving yourself the opportunity to clarify your thoughts to make yourself feel better and to give yourself more energy to face the future to relieve emotions only temporarily to escape from the pain of the need to suffer more pain will be appropriate way to have a comfortable feeling to face the courage to think about sadness, anger? I do so that I can repeat the same thing again? Do I do it to make it less pleasant? Will doing so bring more harm? The most important thing is to be able to control your emotions and let them control you.
Part 3
Method 1:
The color-counting method. Recently, an American psychologist named Felder proposed an effective way to control emotions, namely the “color-counting method”. The way it works is that when you feel angry about someone or something and want to lose your temper, pause your work, if possible, and find a separate place where no one is around, whether it’s your office, bedroom or bathroom, and do the following exercise: First, look around you and say to yourself: That’s a white wall; that’s a light yellow table; that’s a dark chair; that’s a white wall. That’s a dark chair; that’s a green filing cabinet… count to twelve for about thirty seconds. If you can’t immediately leave the scene that makes you angry, such as listening to a criticism from a supervisor or a lecture from an adult parent, you can also do the above exercise on the spot. This is called the “color-counting method.” One might ask, “Is this a good idea? Is it a bit ridiculous? Actually, there is a lot to learn from this method. It is a way to control emotions by using physiological reactions. Because, when a person is angry, the secretion of adrenaline makes the muscles tighten, the blood flow speed up, so that the physiology is ready to “attack”. At this time, as anger rises, attention is shifted to the inner feelings, the ability to think rationally is reduced, and some physiological functions are temporarily weakened. By using the “color-counting method,” you force yourself to regain your sharp visual function and restore your brain to rational thinking. Therefore, when you finish counting colors, you will be calmer, and then think about how you should deal with the situation in front of you. After this short buffer, you will be able to deal with it in a rational manner. So, this method is especially suitable for irritable people to control their emotions.
Method 2:
Journal your emotions. A mood diary is not a typical diary, it is a daily diary of my emotions. That is, what happened each day, how I felt, and even some minor feelings should be recorded. This is what psychologists recommend for controlling sluggish emotions. It is proven that repression is not the solution. Because you did not lose your temper at that time, restrain yourself, but the anger still exists, the accumulation of months, in the end really can not repress, once the release, as a volcanic eruption, very terrible, not only will be hurt, the other party more difficult to bear. This point must especially draw the attention of the sluggish type of people. As they say, a gentleman’s temper is very good, but once the temper can not be launched. This is the emotional characteristic of a retarded person.
Method 3:
Cueing is an effective way for sluggish people to control their emotions. Self-suggestion is one of the most effective ways to change one’s mood. The basic approach is to send positive signals to yourself as a way to adjust your mindset and change your mood. There are various methods of specific hints. For example, when you wake up in the morning, start to give yourself hints: Today I am in a good mood! I am happy today! Today I will do things well! I will have good luck today! I’ll have good luck today!” Words like these, keep giving yourself hints so that your subconscious mind receives these signals. This will have a great impact on your mood throughout the day, allowing you to go about your work in a happy and refreshed manner.
Method 4:
Exercise for relief. According to psychologist Winslow, one of the best ways to relieve emotions is to exercise. This is because when people are frustrated or angry, there are physiological abnormalities that can be restored through exercise, such as running, playing ball, or boxing. When the physiology is restored, the emotions will be naturally normal. Some companies are using this method to eliminate the discontent of the workers. For example, a company specially arranged a room, in the room with the company’s senior director of the mannequin, when the staff is not satisfied with the senior director, you can go to this room to the senior director, cursing or punching and kicking for a while, after venting, the heart feels balanced, and then back to the post to continue to work. This is the exercise relief method.