Divorce is never the only option to resolve marital problems! In many marital families, there are few cases where couples end up in divorce due to various conflicts that are not properly resolved. Among them is the elderly group, for whom divorce leads to much more serious consequences.
Marital relations: What are the consequences of divorce for couples in their 60s? There are 3 consequences
Support pressure: children’s support pressure increases, both sides do their filial piety, will feel exhausted:
Aging problem: retirement life will suffer a big change, alone, will be extremely difficult;
Emotional loss: give up Decades of conjugal love are not only a pity, but may also be regretted.
Next, the specifics of the three consequences are elaborated and advice is given, so I believe you will get the answers you deserve.
I. Support stress
If an older couple gets divorced, the first problem they face is not themselves, but their children. The children are already established, have their own families or have been working for years, and they must fulfill their responsibility to support their parents. Before their parents’ marriage broke up, they only had to deal with one family, and the support of their parents was relatively easy and free of psychological pressure; but when their parents divorced, it all became complicated, and they had to deal with two families after the split, and the divorce of their parents would cause them more negative psychological pressure.
The stress of parental support after divorce involves emotional psychology, support styles and processes, as follows:
Emotional psychology: Children are greatly affected by their parents’ divorce, regardless of their age. They will not understand the act of divorce in the family emotionally, and parents do not talk to their children about the reasons for it, which can lead to an emotional disconnect between parents and children. This disconnection becomes particularly sensitive when it comes to support issues. You can imagine how sour and complicated it is for your children when they are emotionally disconnected from you one by one to do their filial duties.
For example, if you are visiting at the Mid-Autumn Festival and your parents live separately and alone, your children need to go and deliver moon cakes separately; or if one of you lives with your children and the other lives alone, your children also need to visit. The first time I saw the film, I had to go to the house to see it.
Emotional stress comes from the soreness of facing your parents; psychological stress comes from running around on both sides of the fence during daily visits.
Methods and Process of Support: Children have a difficult time deciding how to support their parents after a divorce.
Question 1: Who stays around for support, the father or the mother?
Question 2: How to deal with the respective feelings of the parents in support?
Question 3: How do you deal with emergencies if both parents are living alone in their retirement?
The children have a hard time deciding between just these three questions. Unlike intact families, children in divorced families need to take into account the feelings of both parents, who are, after all, their closest relatives.
Even if the issues are resolved, the children will have to deal with new problems as the parents get older, such as the chain of problems caused by the parents’ health. The newest and most important is that the marriage will not end in divorce until the last resort.
II. The problem of old age
We talked above about the difficulties and pressures of child support, and divorced parents face the same problem of old age. Just as children struggle, parents also have choices to make about their retirement.
There are three main aspects of aging that need to be addressed head-on:
Lifestyle: How will older adults live if they choose to divorce? Are there positive changes in attitudes to life? The first of these is the question of whether or not there has been a positive change in habits and routines after divorce compared to the previous life. These three questions are the realities that older people need to face directly and cannot avoid. In short, has your divorce contributed to a positive attitude toward life, and if there is a negative impact, how do you cope with it and whether you can bear it.
For example, when an older couple divorces, both are bound to move away from their old life paths and start a new one. For older people you are used to whatever life was like before. The first thing you need to do is to get used to it. The first thing you need to do is to be prepared to deal with the psychological stress of this discomfort.
Ways to age: As we mentioned in “Support Stress”, parents need to make choices about how to age. There are two main ways to do this: 1. Both parents age on their own; 2. One parent follows the children and the other ages on their own. The choice of entering an institution or nursing home is not one of these options, probably because divorce itself requires consideration of physical factors, not an unwarranted choice. Even so, parents are faced with the choice of these two types of retirement options, and it is difficult to choose.
As comfortable as it is to age independently on both sides, the regret inherent in aging without the comfort of affection is unacceptable to many older adults. This is different from when the family is intact, because the divorce itself hurts family ties and strains the emotional relationship between parents and children.
If you choose for one of you to follow your children and the other to age on their own. This time, you will need to choose who follows your children? For parents, everyone wants their children to surround them and enjoy their lives. Unfortunately, for divorced parents, you can only choose one of the two.
Needs of aging: The issue of aging includes not only affectionate comfort, but also emotional, material, and spiritual needs. In terms of emotional needs alone, the end of your marriage doesn’t mean you don’t have emotional needs. Anyone needs to be cared for and to care for others; it’s human and can’t be avoided.
In conclusion, it is not easy for older couples to stay together for decades, and if there are problems in your marriage that cannot be resolved between you, then you should seek mediation in a timely manner, rather than arbitrarily deciding to divorce.
3. Emotional loss
The biggest consequence of divorce for older couples is emotional loss, in addition to the impact on their children and themselves regarding their retirement!
First of all, you negate decades of marital bonding with divorce. The first thing you need to do is to take your love to the next level, so that your marriage can be a “good time”. Even if the couple did not reach such a level, there is a long time together in the love. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Secondly, the sweetness of the past life will be reduced to nothing, and all that is left is to complain about each other. The company’s main goal is to provide a comprehensive range of products and services to the public. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Finally, after an impulsive divorce, older couples can easily regret it. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do.
But there is no such thing as maturity when it comes to emotions. In most cases, it’s because of the impulse in the heart, and when that impulse passes, many people have a sense of regret and lament that they shouldn’t have done so.
In conclusion, marriage is never easy. It requires couples to work together to manage and protect it with care, not to end it impulsively and easily. The first thing you need to do is to get the best out of your marriage.