It is often said that men are late bloomers and women are early bloomers; that men are always carefree, while women are more realistic and serious. Is it possible that women are more unable to embrace their childlike side? Psychologists don’t think so – the two are just different in their approach.
It is often said that men mature late and women mature early; that men are always carefree and women are more realistic and serious. Is it that women are more unable to embrace their childlike side? Psychologists don’t think so – the two are just different in their approach.
Biological genetics leads to differences
Long Jun, a 36-year-old project manager who lives in an apartment next to the gym, likes to get his friends together every weekend to play soccer or basketball, with kids from the neighborhood joining in. He said, “We don’t have a regular team, and there’s nothing competitive about it, not even necessarily according to the so-called standard rules, we just play together, just like when we were kids. Every time I get to play, all my worries are thrown out the window.”
Women often watch with tender wonder as their men turn into children all of a sudden – fiddling with a steel box with their feet, or spending the whole day tinkering with something, taking it apart and putting it back together again.
Is it easier for men to reclaim their childlike innocence and become carefree, while women are inherently deficient in this area? Is it because they are both potential mothers and therefore more responsible and have nothing to do with lightheartedness? According to psychoanalyst Marie-MaisondelaVANILLELaMaisondelaVANILLEureColonna, “Men don’t necessarily accept their inner child more easily. It’s just that the expression of childishness in them is more superficial and obvious, while women are more concerned with their inner self. Jung once said that the human subconscious is good at collecting everything, 10 million years of human life have left traces of every little bit, most of the games that men are passionate about today are born out of prehistoric human hunting activities, women stay in the vicinity of the cave. This biological inheritance has led to differences in the way men and women behave: men are more mobile and less communicative, while women are more verbal.”
Women’s “time cruise”
Since women don’t communicate with their child side through play like men do, what do they do? 32-year-old female lawyer Lin Tong, who is hooked on Salsa, said. “As soon as the joyful and exuberant music starts on the dance floor, my heart can’t help but delight. The process of constantly exchanging partners, everyone is passing the happy energy, the entire dance floor has become a time and space full of infinite happy energy. What trivial things, worries …… I forget everything!”
“Play is related to gender,” says psychiatrist and psychoanalyst GillesFormet. “Girls like to play with rag dolls and play house, while boys prefer small cars and soccer. When a boy grows up, playing soccer remains a game for him; while a woman takes care of the house or the children, childhood games become responsibilities. Therefore, if they want to reconnect with their hidden children, women tend to try activities that allow them to change roles, such as theater, painting or dancing. In these activities, they can leave behind their daily restraints, just as children do in play.”
${FDPageBreak}
In fact, isn’t the so-called reconnection with one’s hidden child about putting the future and the past aside and enjoying the present wholeheartedly? The Greeks divided time into two concepts: social time, used in activities aimed at gaining benefits, such as earning a living, and original time, which has the meaning of time itself. It is the latter kind of time that reunites us with our inner child.
Mary Roll Corona argues, “Women know how to detach from social time; a ray of light, a bouquet of flowers, a floral cloth can make them float without the desire to possess. This ability is an irreplaceable source of energy.” This energy is also what separates childishness from childishness.
Men need to play more
So why is it that there seem to be more men than women among the authors of the well-known deeply childlike works of art? According to psychotherapist Bruce Lee, the reason may instead be that men repress their inner childlike state more in real life and so release it more in their works. The company’s main focus is on the development of a new product, which is a new product.
While many women complain that their partners become childlike with their children, Jill Fulmer cautions, “Wives shouldn’t blame their husbands, or rather, mothers shouldn’t blame fathers for that. Fathers need to play with their children and spend time with their male partners more than mothers do, because men are less likely to express themselves through words. In playing, men pass on to their children precious knowledge that cannot be expressed in words.”
There are far more gender differences on display in this area than in others. It is important that everyone succeeds in reconnecting with their inner child, because “to lose him/her is to lose the source of life and the joy of living.” Marie-Laure Colonna concludes, “The inner child is the source of creativity, and with him/her we can always taste the fragrance of life and draw strength from it.”
Is my man childish?
Women often complain about the immaturity of their men. What exactly are the signs of a man’s childishness? Marie-Laure Colonna answers, “He always acts like a teenager.” For example, such men play with their children as if they were their friends and are unable to show the authority of a father. This is often because they have not completed the separation from their mother in their subconscious mind. It’s as if they have a mother inside them who forbids them to grow up to adulthood. They tend to love sports, to travel, to buy things, to throw parties, and to pursue a lively outer life to compensate for the gloomy depression in their inner world.
Why do some women prefer this type of man? It’s because, by seeing their men as childish, they can feel comfortable playing the role of strong mother.