With recent census data showing that divorce rates – as expected – are climbing, with nearly half of all marriages ending in divorce, and many couples who are not divorcing revisiting their relationships, it’s worth looking at some popular lies about marriage to get to the bottom of it before making arbitrary judgments .
Myth #1: Marriage is better for men.
The truth: Contrary to popular belief, recent studies have found that men and women actually benefit equally from marriage, but in different ways, and that marriage is more beneficial to men. Compared to single men and women, married men and women live longer, happier, healthier and richer lives. Because of the woman’s stewardship, men will live healthier lifestyles, and because of the man’s struggle, women have more money at their disposal.
Myth #2: Children bring couples closer together and make for a happier married life.
The truth: Many studies have shown that the birth of a first child tends to bring moms and dads further apart, as well as putting more pressure on the marriage. However, given the children, couples with children do have a lower divorce rate than couples without children, and they are more cautious about divorce.
Myth #3: The secret to having a long-lasting marriage is romantic love and luck.
The truth: Older people who have lived their whole lives prefer “responsibility” and “knowing each other” to love and luck as the reasons for their successful marriages. They see their marriage as a unique creation that includes hard work, dedication and commitment. Happy couples share their lives together as good friends, with common interests and values.
${FDPageBreak}
Myth #4: The higher a woman’s education, the lower her chances of getting married.
The truth: A recent study based on marriage rates in the mid-1990s came to the “new” conclusion that women with college degrees marry at a higher rate than women their own age with less education, although they may marry later. As society moves forward, the old days of “high education = old girl” are gone.
Myth #5: Couples who test their suitability to live together by living together before marriage have stronger marriages than those who marry without living together before marriage.
Truth: Many surveys have shown that couples who cohabit before marriage are more dissatisfied with their marriage after they get married, and a significant percentage eventually choose to divorce. One reason is that unmarried cohabiting men and women treat marriage more casually and are not as faithful to their promises, and when problems arise, it is easy to choose the more evasive and irresponsible solution: divorce. Moreover, living together early on two people see each other’s truest side, which may make a happy marriage more difficult. A recent study shows that two people who live together don’t bother to improve their conflict resolution skills and don’t like to put up with too much for the sake of each other and their relationship. (There are exceptions. If two people living together have plans to get married in the near future, they are more likely to be happily married.)
Myth #6: Modern life expectancy has increased, so it is impossible to have only one marriage in a lifetime as it was in the past
Truth: Unless we go by comparison with people from long ago, there is no basis for this claim, and the biggest reason you see in the numbers that average life expectancy has increased is that infant mortality has been greatly reduced. Nowadays, even if you live that many years longer than your grandparents, because people are also generally getting married at a later age, the length of time they stay in the marital enclosure is actually about the same, so the length of time a typical divorce-free marriage can last hasn’t changed much in the last fifty years. Many couples divorce before they have had a chance to live together until they celebrate a significant anniversary (e.g., golden or silver wedding), and one of the most iconic is the “seven-year itch” of marriage.
Myth #7: If a woman is married, she is at risk of falling into the bottomless pit of domestic violence, whereas if she is single, she is not.
The truth: “Getting a marriage license for a man also means getting a legal boxing license at the same time.” Is marriage really the birthplace of domestic violence? In fact, contrary to this statement, many facts and studies have shown that single women who are not married, or who live together unmarried, are more likely to suffer from domestic violence. One reason for this conclusion may be that even if there is domestic violence, married women will subconsciously hide it, and “family shame cannot be revealed”. Another reason is that women will not want to marry a man with violent tendencies, and even if the violent elements are found after marriage, they are likely to divorce. Thus violence in marriage, at least as reported in the survey, is much less common. Men in marriage usually don’t treat their wives with violence because of love and they are willing to let.