A survey in Singapore shows that the average age of a husband is 40 and the average age of a wife is 37, when problems are most likely to occur and the divorce rate is quite high. After more than a decade of living together, the bonding period has long since passed, so why can’t we escape a marriage crisis? We can explore this today.
Life chores accumulate into resentment
Professor Zhu Rongshen, a sexual psychologist, said, “In the age group of 40 for men and 37 for women, it is common for couples to look like they are separated.”
Some surveys show that 20% of couples end up divorcing because of miscommunication on trivial matters. The problem of the firewood and salt accumulated over the years of marriage has become the most hurtful weapon.
The first three years of marriage are a bonding period, the seventh year is a dangerous period, and 10 years later is a burnout period. 40-year-old men and 37-year-old women are generally married for about 10 years, and in the first two or three years we are in a bonding period, still with a tolerant heart;
in the sixth or seventh year, we know it is dangerous, so we are cautious; after 10 years, we all feel that each other is like our right and left hand.
I think the love has been replaced by affection, so the little things that were not a problem before will be taken out to quarrel a bit, and the little quarrels are more and more, very hurtful.
Also, after 10 years of marriage, couples become very different from when they were married, both in appearance and in the way they conduct themselves.
Professor Zhu said, “The longer the marriage lasts, the more accustomed we become to each other, the easier it is to ignore the importance of mutual understanding, and the relationship then gradually fades.” In this regard, Professor Zhu believes that no matter what the problem is, both spouses should communicate openly and honestly, and avoiding the problem is not the solution.
Foreign temptation causes cheating
After 10 years of stormy marriage, passion fades, and if the mindset of both sides of the marriage is not adjusted in time, it may create opportunities for an affair to emerge.
Men in their 40s have overcome the naivete and fervor of youth, have the talent and experience of middle-aged people, and are not lacking in the wisdom of judging the situation, these mature performances on the one hand let them continue to emerge in their careers, attracting the admiration of the younger sex;
on the other hand, they are increasingly unable to be satisfied with the original stable marital status, hoping to seek new changes
The other side of the coin is that they are more and more dissatisfied with the stable marital status and want to seek new changes. If the wife does not adjust herself in time at this time, middle-aged men will be attracted to the younger women who appear around them and emotionally derailed. Many of them will even ask their married wives for a divorce.
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And after the passion fades, women in their 30s and 40s behave in two types. One type will be like men who are not satisfied with the status quo. Most of them will look for solace from colleagues and friends around them, and some will progress to the point of divorce. The other type will consider multiple factors, or try to save the marriage, or silently endure a miserable life without emotions.
Marriage is a cup of water
The “seven-year itch” is an imported word that means many things will go wrong in the seventh year without human will, and marriage is certainly no exception.
After a long time of marriage, the novelty is lost. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you are getting into. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Some people jump into the fence when they are still very young, but how many men and women in their twenties are calm and rational when it comes to marriage?
It’s true.
Not to mention the twenty-somethings, I’m afraid not many of them have a complete and mature understanding of marriage even when they reach their thirties or forties.
In this sense, there are not many people who go into marriage in a daze.
Men get married when they are old enough. Many people leave their parents as adults and feel it’s time to have their own little family, so they make friends, go on a blind date, and enter into marriage with gusto or passivity.
In modern times, it is advocated to fall in love before getting married; in the past, for most people, it was marriage before falling in love. However, men and women who fall in love and get married do not always carry their love to the end, and many lovers get bored quickly after marriage.
In many loveless marriages, the presence of children is an important reason, but children shouldn’t be the only reason the marriage stays together. However, since you choose not to give up, you should maintain it well. If, as Koko says, you only live once, and for those who are married, marriage is an important part of life, why not put a little effort into making it a little happier!