I recently received a letter from a reader named Zhao, who said she had been married for nearly six years and was a little nervous about extramarital affairs on TV and the “seven-year itch” that everyone often talks about, and wondered if there was a way to avoid the unpleasantness and pain, so that she could grow old with her husband in love and without regrets.
Ms. Zhao’s anguish may represent the confusion of a significant portion of women in marriage. These confusions are related to some irresponsible film and television programs that exaggerate the instability of marriage, but at the same time, we must also admit that two people who have been together for a long time will one day affect the longevity of their marriage if conflicts are not resolved in time and layers of depression accumulate.
So, to have a perfect marriage, we must first start with the little things, pay attention to the details, and live each day with thoughtfulness and gentleness, so that we can live together in this life.
No. 1: Don’t mention previous embarrassments
“You bought a house and lost money, speculated in stocks and lost money, and your fund is falling.
“You dress like you have no taste, last time you attended some meeting, the doorman thought you were a repairman and blocked you out, don’t you remember?”
“You think you have what it takes, you’re from the countryside, you don’t have money and you don’t have a house, if you didn’t kneel in front of me, I would have dumped you!”
……
These overly hasty words, when you quarrel, you have said? Usually good, but once the quarrel, we all think in our hearts, is how to choke each other to death in one sentence, so that they get a complete victory. The result of the quarrel down found that, in addition to feelings hurt, no one has convinced anyone.
In fact, couples are often angry, quarrelsome and quarrelsome because of some trivial things in life, and it is good to be confused when dealing with these small things. You can ease the tension with some relief, witty and amusing words, and a witty and humorous remark can make the other party’s anger dissolve.
No. 2: Don’t pick the flavor of the dish
“You’re not letting people eat this dish?”
“Don’t like it, next time you do it”
Whoever picks at the taste of a dish during a meal often encounters this stiff reply. This really can’t be blamed on the unfriendly attitude of the person doing the cooking, you know, cooking and eating, is a necessary daily homework. Not see how fatigue hard, still have to wash vegetables and cook, and, so easy to make things, and be eaten and dumped, no sense of accomplishment. If at this point, then encounter each other inconsiderate accusations of the taste of the dish, anyone will be unnamed fire, bursting with anger.
So, if the dish tastes within tolerable limits, make sure you give a few compliments. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers. If it’s too salty, say, “A little lighter would be better,” to give the impression that you’re being considerate.
Third: Respect both parents
This is something that women need to be more aware of. Because in real life, most men are very filial to their father and mother-in-law. But wives, for example, often have a respectful mindset toward their in-laws. This, of course, with China’s past prevailing disharmony of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law culture led to, more mainly is now the wife, do not believe in the goodwill of the mother-in-law related. In fact, men would like their wives to be filial to their in-laws. Men are more big-headed and not delicate enough for the elderly, if as a wife, can take care of their parents with sincerity and respect, as a man, will feel very sweet and grateful. Once the conflict between the wife and parents, caught in the middle of the husband will be embarrassed, serious cases will lead to divorce or husband extramarital tragedy.
4: Don’t take your displeasure home
Life is often not what it should be. Misunderstandings from friends, criticism from superiors, ridicule from onlookers, and remorse from the self can make people feel bad and depressed. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
No. 5: Don’t be afraid to “lose” a fight
It’s inevitable that couples will bump into each other, and smart couples can choose their own “role” based on the situation after a fight
With the help of the newest version of the “The New York Times”, the newest version is now available in the market. One party can do this by buying a small gift that the other likes, saying a humorous word or doing something to make the other happy. Depending on the quarrel, the role is to switch between each other, today you “beg for peace”, tomorrow it may be my turn to “beg for peace”, the “long victory” in the marriage is meaningless The “long victory” in the marriage is meaningless, but it deepens the resentment and hurts the feelings of both people.
6: Pay attention to economic issues
If you can’t balance your income and expenses, you’ll have a family financial crisis that will affect your relationship. In some families, money is under the general control of one party, and if financial disclosure is not possible, family conflicts will also arise when one party’s financial requirements are not met. Therefore, the couple should work together to manage their finances, adhere to the principle of keeping the family within the limits of income, frugality and careful budgeting. Always have some mobile funds in hand, in case of unpredictable use. This way, you can prevent a financial crisis before it happens, and reject a relationship crisis in a thousand miles.
Seventh: friends of the opposite sex should be careful
According to the survey, “the blue friend” “the red friend” has become one of the main reasons for couples to divorce. The old saying goes: “Love over time”, opposite sex friends together for a long time, it is easy to have a misalignment, will make their spouses uneasy and unpleasant. Therefore, after marriage, it is necessary to eliminate too close relationships of the opposite sex. For those who obviously have a good feeling about themselves or not to their friends of the opposite sex, to take the initiative to distant, to be sensible to deal with emotional entanglements. The best way to do this is to try to attend fewer social events where you are the only one present, and even if you can’t refuse, make the request to bring your lover along.
A happy marriage requires honesty and responsibility from both sides of the marriage, as well as tips and tricks for dealing with specific things. The combination of these two aspects is sure to make the marriage strong and happy.