Some websites with the theme of “sharing secrets” have become popular. People are posting their private or inner secrets on websites and sharing them with strangers. The popularity of “secret” websites makes us realize that maybe our secrets need to be shared too.
“Secrets” are a kind of psychological pressure
The human psyche can be divided into three areas: one is the part that can be perceived by others, i.e., the level where you know that others know, called the “transparency zone”; the other is the level that cannot be perceived by others. The other is the level that cannot be discovered by others, i.e., the part that you know and others do not know, called the “hidden zone”; and the other is the part that you do not know and others may or may not know, called the “potential zone”. “. Research has found that the proportion of these three in a person’s total psychology largely determines his ability to generate happiness in life. In a healthy psyche, the transparent zone should be the largest, the hidden zone smaller, and the potential zone the smallest. If the cryptic zone is larger than the transparent zone or if the potential zone is too large, it is an unhealthy psychological state.
This shows that untold inner secrets are a stressor to our psyche. The more secrets there are, the more stress there is. So people are constantly looking for ways to let off steam, and telling the secret in some way is a way to release the pressure. As for the potential areas that are not even clear to you, you need to talk to someone else, and possibly gain some insight from the “sidelines”, or go directly to a psychologist.
The reason there is a “market” for “secret” sites is because people have such a psychological need.
The first time I saw the website, I was able to get to know it.
Sex is the core of human privacy
On those sites called “secrets,” there are sections for sex, affection, and colleagues. The vast majority of the secrets that were made public by users were related to gender relations. For example, the first time to whom, or extramarital affairs, one-night stands and other privacy, and even the process of sex and details described down. Some users say that the over-the-top “secrets” almost turn these sites into pornographic sites. In the public sphere, sex is still the highest taboo, but why are these secretive people happy to expose their sexual experiences?
People have two “selves”: a social self, the “me” in the eyes of others, and a psychological self, the “me” in their own eyes. How do people shape the “I” in the eyes of others in the virtual interpersonal communication of the Internet? Without the actual social merit and status difference and comparison, people are only left with the most essential thing, which is the sexual comparison. In the eyes of others (strangers, in fact) your education and economic conditions may be meaningless, but sex is communicable in any situation and comparable between anyone, so exposing sex is shaping a most concrete self in the network.
People not only shape the self in the eyes of others, but also the self in their own eyes. Sexual dignity, then, is the self in one’s own eyes. According to Freud, people judge their value from their “sexual” attraction to the opposite sex, so everything related to sex is not only seductive, but also the most sensitive part of the human psyche. The relationship with the opposite sex, regardless of success and failure, in their own subconscious, is a “proof” of their value, so people will unconsciously expose such privacy, that is, a manifestation of the desire to express. For those who have a story, no matter how poignant it is, when they tell it, it is as if they are “telling it like it is”.
“Self-exposure makes people like you.”
“Self-exposure” is the act of revealing private aspects of oneself to others or passing on inner information about oneself, so that others can maximize it. These are the aspects of self-exposure that are revealed to others, or the internal information about oneself that is passed on to others to maximize their understanding of themselves. In real life, people who are good at self-exposure are confident, because closing oneself off to others is itself a sign of weakness.
Good interpersonal relationships develop as self-exposure gradually increases. As the level of trust and acceptance increases, both parties in the relationship expose themselves more and more. Thus, the breadth and depth of self-exposure is a sensitive “detector” of relationship depth.
Promoting “self-exposure” does not mean that you should “expose” yourself regardless of who you are with, regardless of the occasion, and regardless of the reason. The most important thing is that people like people who have the same level of intimacy as their own “self-exposure”, so “self-exposure” should follow the principle of mutuality and should be responded to according to the characteristics of the other person in the relationship. The “mutuality principle” has another meaning at this point, that is, “self-exposure” must be slow to a fairly gentle degree, slow enough that neither party is surprised. If too much personal intimacy is involved too soon, it can cause strong rejection, anxiety, and self-defense.
In general, the closer the relationship, the more extensive people’s self-exposure. But there is a special case of online intercourse. In the Internet, people who have no relationship with each other may nevertheless achieve full self-exposure. Because in the virtual space, people feel that there is no possibility of the other person intervening in their real life, the experience of risk decreases, as does the sense of embarrassment and shame.
So what is the “mutuality” of self-exposure in the web?
That is, to satisfy the voyeuristic desires of others, but also to satisfy one’s own needs for acceptance and intimacy. The company’s main goal is to provide a platform for the development of a new generation of products and services. The “secret” is what relieves people’s loneliness.
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