When men need more sex and can’t get it at home, an affair becomes a new way to try to have fun.
Puzzle 1: In modern society, there are apparently more affairs
Puzzle 2: Surveys from the U.S. show that only 15-20% of all families fall into an affair. Clearly, affairs are not as serious as they are thought to be. The people who hold this view (mostly men) are simply trying to justify their behavior. Women can also fall victim to this view, they will blindly believe that men have a tendency to cheat on their husbands and become paranoid, over-protective of their husbands, thus undermining mutual trust. And trust is the cornerstone of a good marriage.
There’s no denying that the desire to have a fling is common. Even some very traditional men and women have to engage in an internal battle with some sort of temptation from time to time. But the act of having an affair is completely avoidable; the key is self-control. It is important to refrain from continuing a relationship with a possible third party, while trying to increase intimacy with your spouse.
Puzzle 2: It’s best not to speak up if you suspect your spouse is having an affair
Puzzle: This practice of keeping it to yourself will not lead to good results. In fact, couples who have always had a good relationship, if one of them is having an affair, it won’t take long for the other one to sense it, and any hint of one partner will in turn create anxiety in the other’s spirit.
So the one who may have been cheated on should be open about his or her suspicions, but not questioning, blaming, or getting to the bottom of it, but talking about it calmly and peacefully. For example, you can talk about your dreams and let the other person know your concerns. Of course, there may not be that much of a problem, but this frank communication will reveal something else. For example, if your husband has recently become restless and lost interest in “sex”, it turns out that there is a problem at work. In the modern world, where the stresses of life are shared by both spouses, this has greater significance.
Even if your suspicions are confirmed, there is value in being honest. Because things are clearly on the table, you are no longer in the dark and can face reality and make adjustments. You know, the worst thing you can do, whether you are a wife or a husband, is to know that the other person is having an affair and not talk about it, and to let it happen, which can lead to a deformed, stale marriage relationship.
Riddle 3: An affair, a stimulant for a dull marriage
Riddle: Yes, secret dating with someone you like outside of marriage is pleasurable and is the initial motivation for an affair. The first thing you can do is to relive the feeling of being in love, reveling in your fantasies and ignoring your partner’s flaws. The first thing you need to do is to get back to the real world, boring, bland and uninteresting.
The monotony of married life can be remedied. Change the established patterns, find common interests, and trust that your marriage will be new and recreate miracles.
Riddle 4: If your spouse is having an affair, the root cause may be you
Riddle: There are not a few people, especially wives, who believe this and feel sorry for themselves. And the unfaithful spouse shirks responsibility, makes excuses, and often exaggerates. But it is obviously unreasonable for the one at fault to ask the other to take the blame. In any case, when your spouse is having an affair, it only proves that he or she is happy to do so, and counting you out is just to make the affair more palatable.
Riddle 5: Having an affair is proof that he’s in love with you
Riddle: Affair is very easy for a couple that is not in love, but having an affair is not necessarily a sign that he “doesn’t love you anymore”. It’s common to be infatuated with a lover, but still love the person you’re with. You can see that most men and women who have an affair, including those who are often guilty of this, are still reluctant to divorce. Perhaps for him, the affair is moving only in the sense that he can escape the blandness of married life.
It is important not to react dismissively, sarcastically, and sarcastically to a spouse who has had a transgression when he or she reasserts their love for you, because that love is very likely to come from the heart and should be seen as a fresh start.
Riddle 6: If you find out your spouse is having an affair, you should divorce
Riddle: In life, it’s not wise to have a grain of sand in your eye, and besides, divorce brings with it a number of even more difficult new problems, and most marriages wounded by an affair are worthwhile and salvageable. At the same time, the shock of the exposure of the affair will also motivate both parties to re-examine each other, sit down and listen to each other’s inner voices. Many people will feel guilty and reflective about his/her previous behavior.
Riddle #7: Is a marriage with an affair consummated?
Riddle: Yes. “If neither spouse intended to betray the other, then the marriage is a happy one; if one spouse’s betrayal does not make the other spouse suspicious, then it is a successful marriage; if the betrayal is understood, then it is a successful marriage; if the betrayal cannot be forgiven, then it is an unfulfilled marriage; if the betrayal is just to find comfort, then it’s a pro forma marriage; if the betrayal is not for comfort at all, then it’s a failed marriage.”