In life, we often hear the phrase: you don’t know how to cherish what you have, and you don’t know how to regret it until after you lose it.
Love is also a constant stimulus that cannot be felt after getting used to it
Professor Shen said that psychologists have done an experiment in which people listened to a sound continuously and observed their brain waves, and found that as time went on, people’s response to the sound stimulus became weaker and weaker, and the ups and downs of the brain waves became smaller and smaller, while when the sound was violently made to stop or changed to another sound to stimulate, people’s brain waves responded violently. The brain waves of the person respond less and less to the stimulation of the sound over time, and when the sound is stopped or changed to another sound, the person’s brain waves respond violently.
We have all had the feeling that when there is a constant noise around us, we usually don’t feel it, and when the noise stops abruptly, we can feel the noise that was just bothering us. This is corroborated by the effect of sudden changes in external stimuli on human brain waves.
Love is actually a constant stimulus as well. When a person is immersed in it for a long time, he or she becomes blind and deaf to it. It is when this stimulation suddenly stops, that is, when a lover suddenly breaks up, that one feels a strong sense of discomfort. At this time, there is a series of strong reactions and even excessive behavior.
The sudden loss of “self-centeredness” can cause psychological imbalance
The interactions and interactions between people can contribute to a certain state of mind.
When others show continued affection, the person being pursued develops a “self-centered” state of mind, feeling very good about themselves, simply loved, and overwhelmed with confidence.
This state of mind is so intoxicating and happy that it becomes so perfect over time that it cannot be broken. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do. The first thing you need to do is to try everything you can to regain the confidence you had before, even to the point of hurting yourself and hurting others.
In a relationship, both parties in the relationship are always cared for, looked after and pampered by the other party. To borrow an old saying, “It is easy to go from frugality to luxury, but difficult to go from luxury to frugality.” When one is in an environment where one is cared for and taken care of at all times, one feels comfortable, but after getting used to this comfort, one takes it for granted and feels no special pleasure, and once one loses it, one is so uncomfortable that one feels that the sky is falling.
Breakup-induced depression makes people feel like they need each other more
Sociologists at the University of California have evaluated 114 people who have fallen out of love and found that about 40% of them are clinically depressed, and of these, 12% suffer from moderate or severe depression. Depression can cause a person to be listless, uninterested in everything around them, and unable to dwell on the one thing that caused them to be depressed.
This makes it impossible for the losing partner to shift their energy to other things. They may feel that work, school, life everything is unimportant and that the only thing that matters is getting the lost lover back.
People who are in a depressed state can become very stubborn because they have confined themselves to their own world, and once they decide on something, it is hard to be changed. People who are depressed because they have lost their love will stubbornly allow themselves to think about it over and over again, deciding that the only way out of their pain is to make their lover come back to them. Love just becomes stronger and stronger in their hearts.
The psychological law of “frustrated attraction” makes people feel more in love after a breakup
The pain of a breakup is an evolutionary response that develops over the course of a person’s sexuality. Psychologists divide love loss into two stages: the first is “protest” and the second is “abandonment, despair.
During the protest stage, the abandoned partner thinks hard about what he or she did wrong and how to make the other person love him or her again in order to get him or her to come around. They sometimes show up unexpectedly at their lover’s home or workplace and then roar off; they call, email, and write incessantly, and visit their mutual friend …… again and again
As these behaviors intensify, the abandoned partner’s love for the other person not only does not wane, but continues to strengthen. This phenomenon is called frustrated attraction, meaning that when love is blocked, the abandoned person falls deeper in love with the lover instead.
There is a physiological basis for such strange behavior. Psychiatrists believe that it is related to dopamine. Dopamine is a chemical that controls muscle movement and gives a sense of satisfaction. The system that produces dopamine is activated at the very beginning of a relationship. Dopamine activity also increases during the protest phase, making the rejected lover feel more intense passion.