We know that women always think they can stay close to men by talking to them with great enthusiasm, not knowing that a woman who chatters incessantly not only makes it difficult for men to talk, but also makes it easy for them to keep their mouths shut and lose interest. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
But don’t give up on the pursuit of harmonious communication. Understanding his conversational mindset and grasping his conversation skills and style will make your conversation smooth and natural. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers. It doesn’t matter, here are some tips for you to consider, maybe it will help you and make your conversation a little better.
One, you’re still asking him about his work after work
You’re having a nice conversation with your man when you pop up and say, “How was work today?” He just grunts “I’m doing okay” and stares at the sports show and ignores you. The fact that you are not a member of the team is not a problem.
Because just after work is not a good time to talk to a man about business. Women think talking after work is a good way to bond with a man, but men would rather just be with you and enjoy the peace and warmth without words.
This silent behavior also has his physiological reasons: a man’s brain is relatively focused when dealing with something. When a man is meditating on work or concentrating on a ball game, his brain is busy thinking logically, when his verbal function is dormant.
Giving him time to calm down can bring him back to a conversational state. 28-year-old Hong Ying found, “My boyfriend comes home, turns on the TV, and is in a semi-dormant state. I remember the first time we lived together, I was simply stunned when I tried so hard to talk to him and he didn’t seem to recognize me. But then I found that if I let him be quiet for an hour or so, he would volunteer to tell me about what was happening in his work so we had something to talk about.”
Two: Stare him dead in the eye when you talk
I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed the phenomenon that if you stare a dog straight in the eye, he may think you’re hostile and avoid you, or even lunge and bite you. The reaction of men is also roughly the same. Men and women sit differently and make eye contact when talking to the same sex.
Women sit face-to-face, leaning on the couch, with their eyes looking directly at each other; men sit shoulder-to-shoulder or diagonally, with their eyes looking around. For a woman, it’s hard to open up to a man who is always staring at peeling paint on the ceiling; for a man, having someone staring at him during a conversation can make them restless and difficult to relax.
To avoid this particular male habit, you can use the opportunity to talk to him when you are beside him – in the car, at the movies, etc. – and he will be comfortable and relaxed enough to engage in conversation with you as long as you are not staring him dead in the eye.
Yeh Xiao, 26, said, “The most enjoyable conversation my boyfriend and I had was on one of our trips, when he talked about his childhood and our bright future, which is something he doesn’t talk about often. We had a great conversation and didn’t want to stop until we got to our destination.”
Three, you expect to have a long conversation
A man’s conversation is both practical and purposeful, so when you get into small talk, he does his best to find excuses to stop your conversation. Men think and talk in terms of syllables. This is one of the fundamental differences between the sexes.
Women use conversation as a softening agent for their relationship, and they talk to men about everything to get closer. Men, on the other hand, like to have conversations that have a purpose. When you’re just reveling in having something to talk about, he may be confused and disinterested because he can’t catch the gist of your conversation.
When you and your lover are doing things together, it’s a good time for you to talk. Men are usually better at talking when they’re not under pressure and when they’re motivated, and they’re willing to open up.
Anri, 29, always uses this opportunity to make her conversations with her lover both warm and harmonious. She says, “My boyfriend and I always exchange ideas and talk about our weekend plans while we’re making dinner together. Because we are used to being in this small space, talking and working at the same time, when we are both in a comfortable mood, the conversation is natural and harmonious.”
Another little “trick” for getting men to talk is to not cram every silent moment. Talking for too long can bore men. Women feel uneasy in silence, men do not. So if you want to break the silence, don’t keep chattering away, as this will cause men to intentionally avoid your silence, which is counterproductive.
4. You try to keep the heat on your relationship by constantly mentioning it
All the women in the world ask their boyfriends, on different occasions, “Are we good? Do you love me?”
When a woman is in a relationship with her boyfriend, she feels that it is normal and harmonious, while a man, on the contrary, will not mention it if he thinks it is normal.
Men know you’re looking for a verbal commitment, but using the indirect approach of asking questions can lead to problems. As 29-year-old Wu Hui put it: “My relationship with my girlfriend started going well, and then she started asking me constantly: Are you happy? In fact, I used to be happy all the time, and the fact that she kept asking me the same question over and over again instead made me bored and stopped feeling happy.”
5. You are too honest
You unexpectedly receive an E-mail from your ex-boyfriend expressing regret for losing you and wanting to reconcile. After you have slightly flirted but firmly rebuffed his request, on second thought, you still think that as an honest partner, you have a responsibility to tell this to your current boyfriend. If you do, you’re very wrong.
While honesty and trust are the foundation of a relationship, sometimes it’s best to let go of the notion that not telling will hurt him. “It’s easy for a woman to think that if she doesn’t tell the other person, it will more or less destroy the relationship,” but men will only tell you the truth if there is a definite reason to do so.
So you mention your ex, and he may presume that your relationship is still extraordinary. While you are sure that your relationship was just an email, your boyfriend may be wondering if there is something else going on between them.
Another reason to promote self-criticism rather than telling each other everything is that it’s much more damaging to your boyfriend to be honest and tell the whole story than to keep a little harmless secret.
So it is said, “Absolute honesty can also be cruel.” Xiao Jing, 31, feels deeply about this. She says, “I met my current boyfriend when I was still dating my ex, and he had heard how soulful I was with my ex.”