It’s a big mistake to think that men are all cowboys and have indomitable faith.
Men want it all in one go
Technology has evolved and we should have more time to fall in love, but the truth is that urban men and women are not only working longer hours, but the distance between their homes and workplaces is also getting longer. Some surveys even suggest that they have just 22.3 minutes a day to do whatever they want.
Women need 21.2 minutes to decide what to wear; men need 18.7 minutes to fix their hair and shave. The real free time is 1.1 minutes and 3.6 minutes, respectively. Of course these statements are a bit exaggerated, but you have to admit, dating is a time-consuming affair.
To improve their hit rate, 57% of men meet their significant other through a friend, 31% meet at a bar or party, and 12% choose to date a workmate. Once a man wishes to approach a woman, most will take the initiative to invite the other person. Achieving this step is not difficult and should be possible in a relaxed state of mind as long as one is not squeamish or has high self-esteem.
72% of men set their first date at a restaurant followed by a movie; 27% are hiking or playing sports, and the remaining 1% will think of something unexpected.
For men, the first date is very important, and there are few men who have a one-time-and-done mentality. If the first invitation is rejected, he will lose a lot of confidence and is likely to try his luck with another woman. If you think that men are cowhide and have indomitable faith, you are mistaken. Not every man has strong nerves that can withstand the “battering”, they are also afraid of being frustrated, worried about being rejected mercilessly and easily trapped in a conditioned reflex to protect themselves.
If the first date goes well, men think that the rest of the relationship is likely to grow well. Conversely, a woman who fails to impress on the first date will then disappear and never be heard from again. Because of the habitual assumption that there is no second chance, men tend to act attentively on the first date.
So if the woman accepts the man’s sincerity, she should hint accordingly, and if you fail to send the message “I think you’re good too” in time because you’re numb or hesitant, and don’t create the conditions for men to act, maybe the relationship won’t progress in the end. It’s no secret that there is a growing number of spoiled men who are too shy to approach women, and who often expect women to take the initiative.
Dating to a certain point, men will first consider taking the relationship a step further. It is said that men are lower body animals, and some even say that they are always thinking about the timing of a kiss when they are dating. This is not an overstatement. 58% of men think that if we really hit it off, having intimate contact on the first date won’t diminish my love for her, 21% feel that 3 dates are better, 21% more than 6 dates. Generally speaking, when they harbor some kind of intimate intentions, they will first want to know what the other person is thinking, and also try their best to try to convey their good feelings to the other person.
The first requirement for intimacy is to have a good feeling about each other. It’s not good to be slapped in the face or have wine poured on your face in public. The men are definitely sensitive and calculating old foxes when it comes to testing women’s feelings.
It’s common to pretend to gently touch a woman’s hand unintentionally while watching a movie, or to check her reaction with a slight physical contact such as a knee near her knee.
At the bar, sitting side-by-side facing the bar has the same effect, sensing her attitude through seemingly incidental shoulder-to-shoulder contact with each other. If the woman immediately pulls her hand or knee back, it’s safe to conclude that she has no desire to go deeper, at least not yet. On the contrary, if she does not avoid it, it means that there is a possibility. After confirming, how do you make your move?
Lengthening the date is the first priority. Offer to go for dessert after dinner, take a walk together, or take the woman home. Once this invitation is made, you can basically conclude that he is drunk. Can you accept a kiss and can you eventually give your body to him? Several nights before the date, they were already simulating the course of action from the date that night to the final closing, asking for advice from their close friends, posting online, and nudging when and where the kiss would take place.
During the date, they rack their brains for the next step in their behavioral progression, so they tend to speak absentmindedly and chew food in their mouths without knowing what it tastes like. The woman next to them is often oblivious to the fact that she is in a good place to talk.
The story of the “train man”, which is very popular in Japan, is about an ordinary man on the largest BBS in Japan, asking for advice on how to pursue the women he met on the Shinkansen, mobilizing tens of thousands of Internet users to advise him, and then this real-life event was adapted into a book, movie, TV show, drama, which shows that it is not easy for men to invite women. men, inviting women is not easy and can be a very resonant topic among men.
Numerous times men run through a mock dating scenario in their heads:
What to wear, where to meet, how to greet, where to eat, what to talk about between meals, and then how to take the next step, and so on, revising the plan over and over again and constantly envisioning whether it will work out, often resulting in more nervousness and anxiety. No matter how well prepared they are, and no matter how many mock rehearsals they do, the actual date may not turn out the way they want it to.
For men and women who are attracted to each other but are in a mutual testing phase, the timing and mindset of both parties is a rather delicate matter, and often the big moment is missed because of a misinterpretation of a facial gesture. Even if the woman is interested, once the opportunity is missed, it is not easy to succeed. What will men do in response if a woman expresses a polite refusal to kiss or make an intimate gesture? Unfortunately, almost all men will not ask for it again, but simply give up.
Of course, there are some persistent men who refuse to give up and try to get their hands on each other and wait for a chance to make a comeback. But more often than not, the men are tired of the mental effort and the rejection that has hit their self-esteem, and they prefer to give up in order not to be hurt any more.
So when you also have the desire to spend time with him, to kiss or have intimate contact, even if you are not fully prepared at the time, you should try to make it clear to avoid misunderstandings. Because do not understand each other’s original intention and lost the fate, a determination that the other party is not sincere and give up the relationship, or in order to make self-esteem is not hurt, fear of failure, have not yet understood the other party’s original intention, resulting in missed opportunities, are very unfortunate. If you show yourself a little, everything will be as you wish. Unfortunately, some men and women who have good feelings for each other end up losing everything.