You want him to pay some price for his mistake, you don’t want to pay attention to him, but for some reason, with his movements, you actually find your body somewhat disobeying the call of will. The next time he’s going to do the same old thing again, your cold war effect goes down the drain. The next time he does, he’ll be back to his old ways, and the effect of your cold turkey will be lost.
At this point, do you want sexual self-esteem or sexual pleasure?
A woman’s story
Airong, who came into my counseling room, had such a confusing and difficult experience.
She was an administrative assistant in a foreign company and got married to her boyfriend a year ago.
The first time I saw him, I was very happy with him.
One day, her husband didn’t come back at 3 o’clock in the middle of the night. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public. The two women were sympathetic to each other on the phone, and the girlfriend encouraged Ai Rong to “wait for your husband to come back, you must teach him a good lesson!
The two women were on the phone, and their girlfriend urged her to “teach him a lesson when your husband gets back!
This is not the first time my husband has been guilty of this.
The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem. My husband was born to be the kind of man with a greasy mouth, Ai Rong and he made a big fuss, he just bowed his head and admitted his fault, and then smiled and laughed and put his hands on him. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the market.
With such body service, Ai Rong’s own anger often subsided. Afterwards Ai Rong thought; how can I do this, once again he mantled muddy water, the principle issue is not resolved at all?
So that night, Ai Rong decided that no matter what, she had to resist her husband’s physical attack, and she had to argue the matter clearly with him, and if he didn’t change, she had the heart to divorce him.
The day the husband entered the house it was almost dawn, and Ai Rong sat in the living room all night, her husband obviously knew something was wrong. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
The husband was clearly afraid of divorcing Ai Rong, and once again he routinely and playfully came up to pester her. The company’s main focus was on the development of a new product that would be a new product. But this time she was ready to be ironclad. When her husband stroked her hair, she pushed him away; when he didn’t stop, he continued to come up and kiss her ear, she almost slapped him; when he persisted, he held her from behind and stroked her most sensitive places, this time, she found it a bit impossible again. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers.
That night, once again, she surrendered completely.
The first time I saw a woman, I was able to get a good look at her.
Only Ai Rong lay in the dark afterwards, unable to sleep. She thought, “How can I surrender to his temptation when my body is not listening to the call of my will again?
Another way to have sex
Another housewife, Anne, recounted the following experience:
Her husband had recently learned some perverted ways of having sex from somewhere (she guessed he had learned them from watching erotic movies), and he came home at night and had to drag her to practice them.
It’s not uncommon for couples to try new sexual tricks. But those actions, in Anne’s opinion, almost represented an insult to women.
The first time I saw a woman, I was able to get a good look at her.
Afterwards, she was puzzled and thought, “What’s wrong with me? How can I be so nasty?
What I want Ai Rong to remember
Both Ai Rong and Annie should be congratulated for their troubles, because, in my opinion, it is a happy thing; they both met a master of love and a man who understands women’s psychology. This man knows how to develop their eroticism.
Surrendering to lust is at least better than a sexually indifferent or sexless marriage.
Because it’s hard for couples to have a real principle of great right and wrong that requires us to use sex as a means to punish each other. The reason why we often feel it hurts our self-esteem to surrender to the other person and compromise on his physical temptations is that it is often the perception that is at work. When you think about it, are those perceptions really that important?
So, what are the situations where we should let go of physical pleasure?
1. When you still miss each other
One of my wife’s girlfriends had a fight with her husband. She decided to separate from him and was at my house, crying and counting her husband’s faults. However, I observed that she was distracted waiting for her husband’s call while she was counting his faults to me. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Later, when her husband’s probing call came in, she deliberately didn’t answer it and asked me to pick it up first. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public. A phone call down, they completely reconciled. The husband instructed her to stay at my house so late.
Then later, she was obviously living a little distracted, worrying for a while about what to do for breakfast tomorrow I could see that she was missing her husband, but the face issue had not been resolved. I said to her, why not strike while the iron is hot and take a taxi now to rush back home to the east of the city, perhaps, unexpectedly descend, will be more delightful to the husband, tonight is a romantic sex feast.
As a result, she later called to tell me that night was one of the most romantic and passionate nights they had ever had.
If you love him, go for him. Often times, so-called conflicts are often sexual foreplay between couples, one of the means to make the waves of a dull life rise and fall. Most couples in the world are quarrelsome for the rest of their lives, why because the kind of emotions that ebb and flow with the quarrels can make the sex with the wind. This time the so-called self-respect, often the concept at work. Give up your pride in the face of true love!
2. Those times when the conflict is not principled
What is principled?
Everyone sets different standards. Some people think it’s never excusable for him to have an affair, some people think it’s inexcusable for him to be corrupt. And most of the time, is the conflict between you and him really a matter of principle?
For example, if he comes home late, if he forgets to bring you a gift today, if it’s a chicken scratch over a salty dish, maybe these shouldn’t rise to the level of principle. If this time, he came up to embrace you, and your body also produce chemical changes, then accept him. This is the time when sex is often the glue that holds couples together.
3. When your body really needs it
How powerful is the instinct of the flesh?
This is a question that only needs to be answered by looking at the corrupt officials who would rather enjoy a night of debauchery at the risk of losing their jobs. It is said that among all kinds of bribes, sexual bribery is one of the most potent.
So when your conflict arises and you are faced with the question of whether to give in to his sexual temptation or to sexual self-respect, is all that so-called self-respect really that important compared to physical pleasure A famous writer once said that there is no self-respect between husband and wife. That’s a bit absolute, but it’s true that self-respect is an important reason for couples to make a fortress and enjoy a sexual feast between them in time – if you need it. It’s often an important sign that a person can listen to their heart if your carnal urges overcome reason.
4. What are some ways not to try
Whereas women often have a sense of shame about sex, men, on the contrary, have a lifetime of tireless exploration of it. When it comes to sexual development, men are often good teachers and want to be the leaders for women. More experts believe that many women are unable to enjoy orgasm, often because they have too many taboos about sex.
Women who think about sex a lot are not good women, and women who try a lot of different kinds of sex are even less good women – whether this is true to a woman’s heart or a cultural influence is, in my opinion, more the latter. And marriage experts believe that as long as a couple is trying various sexual styles for sexual pleasure, as long as they don’t hurt each other and don’t create uncomfortable feelings, then there is no such thing as abnormal.
So which sex should you refuse?
(1) Produces physical harm. For example, if you don’t like SM and your husband prefers to be abusive, that’s not sexual pleasure, it’s domestic violence.
(2) You feel humiliated, and there is no pleasure at all.
(3) It makes you feel mentally distressed, like you are indeed being forced.
(4) It affects others and impedes public morality or order.
Besides that, it seems to me that nothing is off limits to try, and the resulting self-esteem is often not really the voice of the flesh, it’s the voice of perception. As for the perception, that is a repression that society imposes on women.
So what about couple conflicts?
What about the deep-seated couple conflicts if you listen to the physical call every time?
Returning to the first case in this article, a situation like the one Ai Rong encountered, in my opinion, whether or not it can be resolved has nothing to do with whether or not to say yes to the husband’s sex. The first case, like the one in this article, in my opinion, has nothing to do with whether or not to say yes to sex. Even if the wife becomes a martyr and ends up dying rather than submitting, the husband may not immediately “change his ways,” but may make the relationship more tense, or the sexual punishment may cause an affair to occur.
You have to admit that men sometimes think: If I can’t get it, I have a way and a way to get it.
Addressing his lateness or playfulness needs to be done in some other way. For example:
(1) Use the influence of his friends. Those who are close to the vermilion are not. Are his fox friends influencing him then, find ways to influence his social circle and get him involved in good male growth groups.
(2) Raise a man. The more a man feels his freedom is violated, the more he has to prove it by coming home late, like a rebellious adolescent. The experience of many smart women is to cultivate their own circles, and experience tells us that once a woman has her own social circle, men are in danger of losing it.
(3) Cultivate his sense of responsibility. In my opinion, many men lack effective ways of resolving conflicts in couples, and this has to do with their experiences, educational background, etc. So, it is even more important to develop this man’s sense of responsibility.
(4) If all else fails, then, change men. This point must be very negative, but the truth is: in a couple’s relationship, you can never reform another person, it is only a matter of whether you and the other person are suitable or not. Recognizing this, it seems more practical to choose men whose lifestyles align with yours than to use marriage to reform him.