When love wears thin, especially when the couple’s work and life pressures increase and their sex life lacks freshness, this period of married life in middle age is prone to crisis and often one partner cheats on the other. The affair is very destructive to the marriage and very disturbing to the parties involved.
So as we enter middle age, it’s important for couples to learn how to keep their relationship fresh and avoid the “peach fever” of married life.
In a word, most men like the new and love the old when they have an extramarital affair, that is, “the red flag at home does not fall, the colorful flag outside”.
The first thing that happened was that the woman’s husband was not able to get out of the house.
There are also some husbands who are not compatible with their wives, but because their wives usually act as good helpers and are not at fault, they can’t bear to hurt their vulnerable wives, or are pressured by the norms to break out of the marriage wall. The woman has an extramarital affair, often like the new and old, the body and mind will involuntarily reject the existing husband. Therefore, women who have an extramarital affair have a greater impact on their marriage.
Couples should maintain good communication
“Inadequate outside of marriage”. The majority of people who have an extramarital affair will give themselves a reason to cheat, such as more conflicts between the couple, sexual disharmony, etc. When it comes to these problems, couples are too lazy to solve them or do not know how to solve them, it is better to escape from reality and find a “tender spot” simpler.
The following three principles of married life must be grasped, these three ways to help lift the “crisis” in the marriage.
A. Have a good communication pattern
It is important to maintain effective communication between couples. First, respect each other and listen carefully, then fully express your true feelings and thoughts. When faced with a disagreement, complain less, blame less and order less, and especially do not discuss who is right and who is wrong.
B, timely handling of crises in marriage
Crisis in marriage comes more from the little things in daily life. When the quarrel boys vitiligo increase, contradictions increase, one of the couple does not want to stay at home more, in fact, the crisis has come. At this point, it’s time to deal with the conflict, and if necessary, ask for professional help.
C, let both sides have free mind space
The couple also have privacy, don’t always look through each other’s phones, don’t always “check in”, don’t trust each other often make people very sad.
These are the reasons why both spouses should have free space in their hearts.
When one party has an affair
Once the couple finds out that the other party has an affair, there will be a war at home, and most women’s infidelity to their husbands is mostly expressed as a cry, two, three hangings, but in fact, the more fierce it is, the more often they do not choose to divorce;
Men, on the other hand, are the opposite, and it is difficult to tolerate
While men, on the contrary, find it difficult to tolerate the mistakes made by their wives and cannot accept the “cuckold”, more than 80% will choose to divorce.
If both parties want to save the marriage, here are a few things to do–
1. Convince yourself to believe the other person, no matter what he or she says. It’s best to get marriage counseling, both for the other person and even more so for yourself to find a way to deal with the problem.
2. Don’t attack the third party, because by demeaning the person he likes you are demeaning him. If you demean him, he doesn’t feel guilty.
3. Don’t proclaim it everywhere, don’t cry to your friends, relatives or unit leaders, it’s the privacy of the couple. Otherwise there is no turning back for the cheating party, the only way is to divorce.
4. Take care of yourself and turn your attention to other things.
5. Show your attitude appropriately. Don’t be stern-faced, and don’t cry. You can tell the cheating partner that you’ve been hurt, but don’t go after him/her for past transgressions and make the other party feel at home.