She’s not a normal woman. She’s hot and cold to you; she seems as if she’s not; she’s crazy and stalks you; she’s overly reserved and sees you as transparent air ……
I. The perfect woman
Love expressions: overly restrained, self-critical, and right all the time .
Example of Weird Women: Women with perfect behavior and morals are natural male killers. Overly self-restrained, self-critical, right all the time, and at heart still narcissistic, not allowing themselves to make mistakes because they love themselves.
The man’s way: share the joy of making mistakes with her.
Like the myth that you can fall in love with a fairy-like person but only marry a normal woman to take home, your dilemma is whether you can turn a fairy into a mortal. Life is really about what is most mundane and spontaneous, sharing the joy of making mistakes with her, sharing the laziness and casual ease, and limiting what she gives to you above the level you can give back.
2. The face of suspicion
Love expression: likes to catch wind of things but deliberately acts generous.
Weird woman example: general suspicion is just a means for women to flirt, excessive suspicion may be a mixture of defective feeling and aggressiveness. The women in “Cell Phone” are a composite of slightly paranoid and hysterical women who are sensitive to deception and assume that men are clearly bullying them if they don’t tell the truth.
The man’s way: the most effective strategy is to play dumb, belittle yourself from time to time, and never be smug.
Suspicion is often a means of relationship control, and you need to learn to “obey unconditionally.
The first rule is to establish the necessary rules at the beginning of the relationship, such as not having mutual friends and not interfering with each other’s space.
Principle 2: Don’t make the love relationship too close; keep the right distance to protect both her and you. The woman who is suspicious is very sensitive to the closeness of the relationship, and once a certain love pattern is formed, you must stick to it for decades.
Three, the face of indifference
Love expression: often indulges in empty thoughts, does not actively care about people, and normal messages in interactive relationships are often ineffective.
Weird woman example: Indifference stemming from hostility is acceptable, sooner or later hostility can be resolved and indifference can be converted to warmth. The most worrisome indifference stems from extreme narcissism, a personality flaw with a lack of sexual tendency and no capacity for love. The narcissistic personality is an undifferentiated mud ball, there is no internal structure, when the anger is not angry, when the joy is also no joy. Embracing such a woman, you may even feel lonely and cold.
You have to create some unique ways of communication to reach the two of you. Of course, some very independent women also have a latent indifference deep in their personality, and you can’t get inside her, can’t touch her and can’t conquer her.
The man’s way: make simple rules for communicating information and emotions to help her feel safe enough.
If anger can’t be expressed properly, indifference becomes a technique. Pretending not to know is the only response if you don’t want to admit fault. Men who can only accommodate warmth but not indifference are not considered strong men because they have too much need for a relationship, which is a kind of dependency.
Being needed by women is often the hidden pride and joy of many men, and anyone would be terrified to face a woman who has no desire. Desirelessness is not a good thing, and desirelessness in the home can make the family unlivable. If she treats you with the face of indifference, it is important to set simple rules of information and emotional communication to help her feel safe enough.
Fourth, the face of passion
Love expression: sensitive and hysterical, love and hate go hand in hand.
Examples of strange women: Women with dramatic personalities abound, each with varying degrees of hysteria-like emotions. They are highly suggestive, emotionally sensitive and exaggerated, seek sensory stimulation, and like to be the center of attention.
The man’s way: keep the compliments on her forever.
Exaggeration, emotional outbursts, and a tendency to self-abuse are a few of the characteristics of a dramatic personality, and it’s hard for you to communicate with her in a normal way because she has so many distorted experiences of reality, and if she lies it’s never because she wants to lie, because it’s hard to tell what’s reality and what’s imagination.
All you have to do is accept her emotions unconditionally and don’t think she’s messing around. It is very important to give her security and constant praise. The everlasting praise you keep for her is the same as giving her diamond jewels, and she will always give you something back that you didn’t expect.
Five, the face of contradiction
Love expression: not knowing whether to love you or not, having an affair haphazardly and then confessing like a confession.
Weird woman example: Borderline disorder is a female-specific psychological problem that originates in the overly introverted or aloof mother, with whom the child cannot form a deep attachment no matter how hard she tries. Frustration in intimate relationships makes the girl distrustful of her sense of self, emotionally unstable, irritable, and unconsciously self-defeating or self-injurious.
She can’t tell if she is interested in wanting to attach to you or leave you, lacks control and foresight over her emotions, and can’t tolerate anxiety. Not knowing whether to love you or not, she has a haphazard affair and then confessionally makes peace with it, leaving those who love her in pain.
The man’s way: help her find a good therapist to accompany him for the rest of his life.
Lack of self-boundaries is at the heart of the problem, and how to rebuild boundaries with people and how to identify and manage her emotions is what you need to help her achieve. Often such a woman needs a lifelong companion psychiatrist, and helping her find a good one is one of the workarounds. However, most psychologists are afraid to take on clients with borderline disorders, “they’re like children who always need to suckle, and you’ll never have peace until you satisfy her.”
Sixth, excessive cleanliness
Love expressions: valuing the rules in love and doing everything by the book.
Weird woman example: Women with cleanliness are always overly cautious, living a stereotypical and stubborn life. It is a love in a cage, everything is in order, the rules of love are valued and the joy of creation is ignored.
The man’s way: set clean limits at the beginning and indulge occasionally.
You have to set the rules of the game from the beginning; it’s up to her to be as clean as she wants to be, but the family can’t suffer from cleanliness. Of course, sometimes you can allow her to turn her bedroom into a clean haven, like a child’s playground, and experience the feeling of physical and mental cleanliness when everything is clean and spotless.
VII. Overdependence
Love emoji: insatiable for care, not hesitating to play the poor man.
Weird woman example: Women’s dependence on men has been pushed by old morals, thinking that this will make the world peaceful. But dependence is actually a kind of personality incompleteness, excessive submission to the will of others, a prolonged experience of helplessness, fear of not being able to take care of oneself, inability to fulfill commitments, and an easy descent into loneliness or fear of abandonment. Severe dependency manifests itself as an attachment hunger, an insatiable appetite for care, a willingness to play the poor man and entangle the loved one with vulnerable control.
The man’s way: periodic separation.
Periodic separation fosters her independence and encourages her to engage with society and gain a good social identity. Some women are also very independent people in their careers, but are so emotionally dependent that their IQ immediately drops to zero when they are with the person they love. Beware! This dependency is just a tactic to control you, and the necessary playing dumb can respond to her emotional exploitation of you.
Eight, lace-edge complex
Love emoji: simple persistence, defying male assertiveness.
Weird women example: Women’s homosexual tendencies (Lesbian, pronounced lace-edge) are becoming more and more commonplace in our society. Women are more likely than men to maintain a bisexual role, marrying and having children, fulfilling the biological function of womanhood in its entirety, while maintaining secret feelings with their same-sex counterparts.
The man’s way: tolerate, wait, and don’t let same-sex love interfere with family life.
First rule: forgiveness. If you can’t take it, it’s best to choose to leave. Trying to change a gay man ends badly; same-sex love is her right, and it’s your right to choose to leave;
Second principle: abstain from behavior and let same-sex love interfere with your family life;
Third principle: wait. When hormones fade with age and children grow up to make family matters more demanding, most women will voluntarily give up same-sex love for life.
9. Sadomasochistic complex
Love expressions: anti-social tendencies, disregard for rules, and little tolerance for frustration.
Weird women example: People with potentially abusive behaviors often have antisocial tendencies, with more or less distinctive ways of thinking and feeling, such as indifference to the feelings of others, lack of social responsibility, disregard for rules, little tolerance for frustration, and an inability to learn from experience.
The man’s way: learn the STOP technique, or be the first to admit defeat.
Women flirt more with the little things. Don’t see minor biting, pinching, pinching, scratching, or hitting as abuse; as long as there is no break in the skin, violent abuse cannot be justified.
All domestic violence has a growth process. In the early stages, report a clear aversion to physical harm and don’t make excuses for the other person, or forgive her easily. The first thing you need to do is learn STOP techniques for escalating conflict. One prerequisite for escalating conflict is that both people are unconvinced, and if you feel things are going to get out of hand, you might as well be the first to admit defeat or leave. Let the emotions of both sides be buffered.
Ten, Oedipal complex
Love expression: there is a transcendental tendency in sex and an inexplicable sense of guilt about nudity.
Weird woman example: Her unfinished emotions from her early emotional relationship with her father and daughter will unconsciously seek compensation in you. Most Oedipal women have a tendency to be transcendent in their sexuality, even to the point of having inexplicable guilt about being naked. They lack the ability to be creative in their sexuality, and it is perfectly natural for them to be passive or even avoidant. These manifestations of the Oedipal woman may all stem from a deep-seated shyness and confusion about sex.
The man’s way: seduce her and make her overwhelmed with the reality of physical pleasure.
How to get an Oedipal woman out of sexual confusion is a matter of your sexual prowess, and you need to exert enough masculinity to seduce her into the reality of physical pleasure. You have to praise her sexually in a timely manner, trigger her inner conflict, and share and defuse it in moderation.
On the other hand, you have to stop her from transforming the Oedipal into a surrogate mothering tendency. Excessive mothering is the Oedipal complex in disguise, and you just have to see her as a sexy woman and not create any affection-like atmosphere.