A perfect and long-lasting marriage should be a warm oil.
The main focus is on the sweet, rich love, blended with respect, understanding, tolerance, and dotted with countless warmth and fragrance.
Northwestern University School of Medicine professor Vera Huang is known as the “Doctor of Love”. The first time I saw the film, I was able to see it. Often, when a husband gives a marriage a satisfaction rating of 7, his wife gives it a rating of 2. This is known as the “temperature gap” in marriage. “People who are interested in maintaining their marriage need to have a more objective understanding of the current state of the marriage. It’s a good way to take the temperature of a marriage.”
Like human body temperature, the ideal marital temperature should be constant at around 37 degrees Celsius. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Everyone wants to be in love, but if the marriage is like this, it will keep on getting hot, and it will easily get “feverish” and burn each other. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the market. Emotions up, people will inevitably say angry words, if there is no timely explanation afterwards, communication, it is easy to hurt the partner’s self-esteem. Some wives are too clingy, the husband as a “private property”, can’t wait to get tired of together every day, to master each other’s every move, so that the temperature of the marriage is always at a high point. This dependence on the psychology of the wife’s soul is empty or immature, they want each other to be able to readily, unconditionally accept themselves in the first place. But in the adult world, forcing the other person in any form, to satisfy their own psychological needs, does not work.
And there are times when the temperature of a marriage can drop to freezing. The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you are doing. There is an old Chinese saying “the greatest sorrow is death in the heart”, couples avoid conflict, because conflict will bring pain to both sides. The reason for this is that it will take a lot of effort to heal the marriage in the long run.
So, to maintain the perfect marriage temperature, it is most important to learn and communicate well. According to Huang Weiren, communication is about expressing your thoughts and being informed of the other person’s thoughts, not negativity or personal attacks. For example, if the husband has to go out for socializing, the wife is not too happy about it and can complain, “You’ve been going out a lot lately, we haven’t had dinner together for a long time, I’m lonely.” This is a complaint, and the wife plainly states the distress caused by her husband’s going out. But if the wife says angrily, “You’re always doing that, just going out on your own.” Then it becomes an accusation. To change a partner who is too clingy, on the one hand, tell him or her truthfully that he or she needs independent space and social activities, and an understanding partner is usually receptive. On the other hand, you may want to encourage them to develop their own hobbies and social circles.
In addition, a study by John Gettleman, a psychology professor at the University of Washington, found that men who help their wives do the dishes and reveal their feelings are happier in their marriages and live longer. Although there is no more scientific explanation for this study, one thing is certain: if husbands can do this and speak up, it will help their marriages.
Take the “marriage temperature” test
Want to know what your “marriage temperature” is? Why not take the following quiz? This test, designed by University of Denver psychologist Dr. Stanley, is recognized as the easiest and most effective “marriage thermometer”. The test was designed by Dr. Stanley, a psychologist at the University of Denver, and is recognized as the easiest and most effective “marriage thermometer.
1. A small argument suddenly turns into a big fight, with each other cursing and rehashing old scores.
2. My lover will ignore my opinions, feelings and needs.
3. My words or actions are often perceived by my partner as malicious.
4. We always seem to be on opposite sides when there is a problem that needs to be solved.
5. I don’t naturally tell my partner what I really think and feel.
6. I often imagine what it would be like to have a different lover.
7. I feel lonely in the marriage relationship.
8. When we fight, one of us always doesn’t want to talk anymore and starts to run away or leave the scene.
The scale is 1 point for each question if it “never” or “rarely” happens, 2 points for “occasionally” and 3 points for ” frequently” is 3 points. When you add up the scores for each question, if the total score is 8-12, it means that your marriage is at a constant and healthy temperature. If the total score is 13 – 17, your marriage needs to be vigilant. If the total score is over 18, it means your marriage needs to make adjustments right away.