Many men and women who are in love always find out that the vision they had before is just a mess when they step into the castle of marriage. The company’s main goal is to provide a solution to the problem of the problem. But there is something that must be discussed no matter what.
Whose house should we go to for New Year’s Eve to see whose parents?
The case of a newlywed couple in Changchun who got divorced because they were arguing over “whose family to go back to for the New Year” makes the end of the lunar year 2012 all the more “worrying”. The argument that plagues couples year after year is not a trivial one!
On the surface, this is just a game of “filial piety” between men and women, but in fact it is a struggle between the two sides for the “right to speak” in the marriage relationship. The fact is that it is a struggle between the two sides for the right to speak in the marriage.
Couples fighting for the right to speak? The chances of divorce are high!
Whether it’s a discussion on the internet about “whose house to go to for New Year’s Eve” or a debate among our friends about “whose mother to see for New Year’s Eve,” we can always find a phenomenon: most of this trouble happens in the post-80s, especially in the post-85s.
These couples are the most likely to be in the post-80s, especially the post-85s.
These couples were born in 1979 after the glorious call for “family planning,” and most of them are only children.
These couples were born in 1979 after the glorious call for family planning, and most of them are only children.
Many of them have been married for only four or five years, and some of them have been newlyweds for only half a year, and they are not in love enough, but they have jumped into the tedium of marriage. The former romance freezes at once, and endless arguments ensue. This one wants the other to do things according to their own ideas, that one insists on the original intention never waver. It is especially difficult to compromise on “filial” issues such as “New Year’s Eve”.
This kind of “non-compromise” is actually a step that is dropped before the marriage – to determine who has the right to speak.
If love allows both partners to tolerate their own shortcomings, marriage does not, it cannot be dominated by hormones and is a contractual relationship. In the early stages of the relationship, the two people are always playing a silent game. This game continues until the master-slave position is decided. Until then, any major conflict of interest will deal a major blow to this unstable marriage relationship!
A wavering voice? Marriage stability is hard to maintain!
There are also many couples who have wisely chosen the “New Year’s Day at your house, New Year’s Day at my house” solution to the question of “whose house to go to for New Year’s Eve? The main conflict will be successfully turned into a big and small. The problem is that the main conflict is too big to be solved, but this “small cannot be solved”, this “this year you have the right to speak, next year I have the right to speak” swing state, over time will reveal its shortcomings!
Here I can insert a case:
Miss Chen, who works in a career unit in Changchun, discussed with her husband before the wedding to take turns to go back to the two families for the New Year, and obtained the consent of both parents. The city, the mother’s family, the in-laws are far apart, no matter to whose home for New Year’s Eve, buying tickets is a big problem, while a variety of people to and from, prepare gifts, they are tired of running. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem.
So everything went back to the way it was in the beginning: who’s mother are we going to see for New Year’s Eve?
This kind of wavering, rotating ownership is obviously not going to keep the marriage stable either.
One mountain cannot have two tigers!
A truly stable marriage is one in which both partners have a defined position of mastery and subordination in the marriage. One partner willingly defers to the other in matters large and small. The “willingness” is the ideal state of willingness, not submission. Even if there is occasional discontent, it is only a little bit of a wave and does not break the stability of the relationship. In this kind of relationship, the person who has the power of speech makes the final decision on “whose house to go to for New Year’s Eve” after taking into account the other person’s opinion, and things are settled without dispute.
Women’s rights are confined!
But the truth is that one partner willingly gives up his or her voice to the other, mostly between couples who share the same values. In many seemingly stable marriages, the woman gives up her voice to the man not “willingly” but “in submission”. The first thing that we need to do is to make sure that we have the right to be in the right place.
In these marital arguments, women always try to make their voices heard and demand their rights, but they are repeatedly silenced by men.
This kind of marriage, in which the man is forced to have a say, can remain stable in the midst of arguments and unhappiness, but once the social climate is enlightened and the woman’s “human rights consciousness” is awakened, it most often ends in divorce. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
It is not the trivialities of life that cause their relationship to break down, but when the woman asks for a redistribution of “voice”, the two cannot reach a unified agreement and end up in divorce.
The battle over “who’s mother will be there for New Year’s Eve”Women are not destined to win
When most men, and even women, agree with this statement and use it as a basis for their own decisions, they will be able to get a divorce.
When most men, even women, agree with this statement and force women to be subordinate to men on the grounds of “following the traditions of a nation,” women’s rights are confined to the level of “ideals” and cannot be practiced in practice.
Social repression has made it difficult for the awakening “feminism” to take hold. When a woman tries a little bit to defend her rights and asks “to go back to her own house for the New Year”, not only does the man label her as a “misogynist”, but she is also accused of being a “misogynist”. Women’s morality” charge, even the woman’s parents will think it is their daughter’s problem. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
[Netizen Discussion]
Love Loves Bali: I think this is the aftermath of the “one child” policy, before a parent at least have children and daughters, daughters do not spend time at home, sons spend time at home, always not back alone, now Everyone on a child, how to do? The only way to grab!
Chubby cow: We are both only child, but my mother is more understanding, think we are usually closer to her, easy to go home, while the husband’s home is far away, a rare year, so I am married to accompany my husband home, so it saves me the embarrassment.
I am Da Feng: one year in-laws over, one year mothers home over, or together, anyway, are family.
dmary:: I’m so busy at work that I seldom go home to see my parents, who are old and look forward to the two days when their children come home.
The only children in the family are my husband and I. In order to make sure that both elderly people are not lonely, we have to go back to our own homes.