“Ex-girlfriends” “ex-boyfriends” have been a lot of relationship fatalities for men and women in love.
The first time I saw a girl, I thought she was in love with her ex-girlfriend.
Let’s look at what happened to this girl:
I’m actually very happy lately, I’m a girl born in ’85. Just this year, fell in love for the first time. He is very kind and good to me, very good at thinking about me, many of our interests are similar, we talk well, and most importantly, he likes to talk and I like to listen!
The only thing that stands between us is his ex-girlfriend, their previous memories to be exact. He told me he wants to forget and never want to see her again, and that’s what he told her, but every time he dreams about her, or something happens that reminds him of her again, he gets extra grumpy, even with me.
I tried to help him, and I tried to help myself, and every time I tried to help him, he would assert, “You can’t help me,” and I told him to try to forget, and he said, “I’ve been trying for years, but I can’t forget. I don’t know what I can do to overcome so many memories and recollections between them.
I do love him, and it has always been my dream and philosophy to be with him from the beginning. The most important thing is that if I leave him because of this, what will happen to his future? I want to help him out, even if the final fate is not destined for us to be together, I want to help him, in fact, I am helping myself, even if I leave him now to find another boyfriend, I will not be happy.
Every time something like this happens, I feel like an outsider, I can’t do anything, and I have low self-esteem. I’m good to him, but I can’t seem to replace her place in his heart no matter what, and I feel like it’s unfair to me, and I’m so miserable! Every time I’m told not to worry, he’ll sleep and be better the next day, but I don’t want to be tortured like this anymore, I also want to be a considerate and warm woman, what should I do in the end? Is there nothing I can do to remedy this, no matter what I do?
This is not something that can be prescribed in a few words, because there is no way to know what happened between him and her before. The first is that it is a very deep pleasure, and those times stay warm in the heart. The second is a deep pain, a deep chill in your heart when you think about it.
Mere pleasure will be forgotten in contentment.
The only way to remember is to alternate hot and cold, ups and downs!
After a relationship has been over for so long, the emotions still linger and it hurts to think about it. The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem.
With this type of person, you can’t simply copy the “be anxious, be happy” model of interaction. The more you pay attention to him and stay with him when he remembers what happened before, when he was in a bad mood, the more the painful memories are reinforced, and the more the small pains become big ones. Even after excessive reinforcement, people will be psychologically dependent on the pain: although no one wants to remember the sad thing, but the process of “pain – recovery – pain” over and over again. The process of “pain-relief-pain” is habit-forming and makes the person subconsciously dependent on the pain as an important part of life.
The human psyche is so subtle. Often what is repeatedly nagged at the mouth to be forgotten is remembered in between the chanting.
So there’s only one thing you can do: next time he’s in a bad mood again, let him be. You’re busy, happy, joyful, business as usual. No concerns, no questions. Or simply say to him, “Honey, it’s normal, anyone can remember a time when they were unhappy. Others are just like you, it’s no big deal!”
A lot of things people are willing to remember for a long time is that they think it’s unique, so what you should do in the future is never let him think that the previous experience was extraordinarily different.
This is not going to be pleasant for you, but you don’t have to dwell on it too much. In fact, everyone has their own side of the memory space, which has some people and things that are exclusive to them. The actual fact is that you will be able to get a lot more than just a few of the most popular and popular items on the market. It is said that love needs space.
The human heart is not very big, and whoever is willing to leave the most space for it is the luckiest person. The most important thing is to have the courage to accept the imperfections for the sake of this luck!