My husband and I were introduced to each other, he was 80 years old, I was 84 years old, engaged after a year of dating, married in March 2009 because of a child, before the engagement, he told me that his first love was the daughter of his brother-in-law’s ex-wife, and then had to break up because of the opposition of both families, the girl I have seen, I think, everyone has a past, it is impossible to ask someone else’s past as a blank sheet of paper. The girl I’ve seen, I think, everyone has a past and it’s impossible to ask someone’s past to be as white as a piece of paper, so I didn’t care too much.
After getting married, he treated me well, and I thought I was happy. In the middle of this, they were always in contact, and the girl often called and messaged him, and he was unusually gentle and happy when talking to her, which made me a little uncomfortable, so I added her facebook, and politely asked her not to contact him often, so she said not to, and as a result, my husband blamed me and changed his facebook password.
In early September of last year, the girl came back from Zhejiang, and since his other two nephews were staying at our house at the time, she stayed with us, and at that time, I went back to my mother’s house for a week, and he seemed happy to see him. While I was at my mother’s house, he would occasionally buy some fruit and send it over, but left soon after.
I messaged him saying how he was being so nice to me and sending fruit over, and he said who asked you to be the mother of the child, and I said oh, so it was for the sake of the child in my belly that he said that to me.
So that’s how I learned that he hadn’t forgotten about her and had her in his heart all along, and although I had felt she was important in his heart before, it was confirmed to me by myself that this was unacceptable and unbearable.
I asked him if he had loved me or not, and he didn’t answer, just said I was bored, and that I could feel it myself, and he asked me not to be unreasonable, and said something like forgetting her he couldn’t do it, and asked me to be generous and not to dwell on these topics with him, and then he simply didn’t answer my messages, and said if he didn’t believe him to come home and supervise him, and after I came home from my mother’s house and saw her with him I was sad to see her laughing and talking with him, but ignoring me.
He often went out with her, but left me alone at home, so I was angry I was furious, looking for him to quarrel, the woman saw us like this and talked to me, she said she would not be the first among us, told me to be more generous, then I believed her, after that the three of us were at peace with each other, she lived in our house for more than 10 days, after leaving, he was indifferent to me.
So I stupidly told her about our situation, and she told me in Facebook that she never got over him and how she was in pain after she went to Zhejiang, and what broke me was that she sent him all our chats, and he replied that she was the woman who made his heart ache forever, and the two of them then just rekindled their old relationship.
He changed her facebook note to intimate, they went on each other’s facebooks to collect and steal food, he used her number to play “farm”, they chatted online video for hours, often called and messaged, and I saw in his chat logs that he told her good night, honey, miss you, and other lovey-dovey stuff.
I’m jealous and aggravated that I’m going crazy.
In this depressed and painful mood, I gave birth to a child, and during the menstruation period, I couldn’t eat or sleep because I was sad and depressed, so I didn’t sit well during the menstruation period, and I fell down with back pain, and after the child was full term, I had to bring up the child alone because my mother and mother-in-law were working, and he was still indifferent to me, only meeting my needs materially, and in the couple’s life, there was very little, and he was straightforward. He is straight to the point and is totally just venting.
At first, I tried hard to try to win him back, even begging her to let go, begging him not to do this to me, but he still went his own way, he told me he would not abandon me for her, nor would he stop contacting her for me, unless she got married, or they would stay in this relationship. .
This year’s Lantern Festival, she came back, and all of their family kept the news from me, and I inadvertently learned that I had called her a bitch when I argued with him, and he slapped me, and I cried my eyes out, and he didn’t care, so in my anger, I told my parents, and they came to our house overnight, and in front of several of his relatives, my dad pointed at him and said he would hit me again He said to his face that he was wrong and that he would treat me well in the future.
But afterwards he told me that he had never been humiliated like this until he was 30 years old and that he would never go to my mother’s house again, and I asked him what would happen to us both.
He said it was a day in the life. Now, we are the two most familiar strangers, sleeping in the same bed, each under a quilt, and he never speaks softly to me, and it is difficult to say a few words a day.
He often runs away for a reason, and never calls or sends me a message when he goes out for the whole day, and he rarely takes the initiative to hold the children.
But I can’t let go of my child, she’s only half a year old and it’s difficult for me to raise her alone because she’s on formula and spends over $1,000 a month, and I don’t have a job, my mother-in-law and my mother are working, so there’s no one to help me with the child.
I don’t want to divorce him, but I love and hate him, and I always fantasize that we can live in harmony, but I know it’s impossible, and the reason he doesn’t divorce me is because he puts his family first, and his parents won’t agree to divorce me. I want to get rid of it. The company’s main goal is to provide a solution to the problem.
What am I supposed to do?
What should I do? Is it not worth waiting for a man who doesn’t love me?