More and more women, more and more confused, whether it is the stage of passionate love, or the first marriage of the man, his language cells used to be how developed: an hour ago he saw you mouth like a river to talk about love, an hour later to see you again still endlessly expressed Love …… a leaf falls from your head, he will be like a poem like the voice of a lot of emotion; you a sentence of irrelevant “home is really good” sigh, he will be a wonderful talk with you for hours…. …and now, what’s going on? Married only a few years ah, he has become a “bore”. It is said that men are action-oriented animals.
So what’s behind a man’s silence?
A survey by British sociologist Mark found that men talk half as much as women do every day.
But men also spend most of their time in twitter, at work, and chatting and communicating with their loved ones, perhaps less than 15 minutes a day, using no more than 10% of the words.
In fact, there are many ways for men to keep quiet, each of which could be the start of a heart-to-heart heart conversation. The premise is that you need to know what they really want to say, and then respond accordingly.
Protesting rambling with silence
Women like to talk to build The relationship, consolidate the relationship, and at home, they like to show their leadership position and express their concern for the man by rambling. Men do not think so, no matter how eloquent and eloquent he was before marriage, after marriage men prefer to directly say their specific wishes, such as “I want to go out to dinner with you tonight”, “I want to rest”, ” I have a meeting.”
However, women can’t take it anymore, and the more men do this, the more women have something to say. Many times, because of women’s ramblings, the home is not unlike the noisy sky outside. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the market.
Many men are used to choosing silence to express their emotions, thoughts, and attitudes at the time, and on the other hand, to intentionally distance themselves from each other, and women feel especially hurt by this. In this regard, women tend to say “they have no feelings, simply cold-blooded”, which is actually a misunderstanding. Married men are more accustomed to communicate their feelings and adoration with their hearts. The more a woman rambles, the further away a man will be from you, although he is silent, but the heart has erected a “wall”.
Tone your mind and body with silence
Boys are raised to conquer the world, to stand up for themselves, to take responsibility. When they become men, no matter how helplessly exhausted, how hard frustrated, how cruelly beaten, how heavy the burden, how great the pressure …… they can’t vent it like women can. Women can be cathartic through crying, washing away through tears, and draining through confiding in.
The only thing they can do is to be silent. In silence they reflect, in silence they tune in, in silence they build momentum, in silence they lick their wounds.
So when a man drags his heavy feet home, when he sits on the couch and doesn’t say a word, when he ignores your words, you mustn’t boss him around, make a fuss, float around, or even give him an earful. Perhaps he has just finished talking with the customer exhausted, or is facing a life and career dilly-dally, ready to hurt sleepy and tired. At this time, his silence is to recuperate, he is in silence to get a new life. You may want to give him an hour to say “goodbye” to his day job, after which he may show a surprising amount of interest in any questions you may have.
As a special reminder, if a man is still interested in watching TV when he’s tired, don’t turn it off while he’s watching the news and then say with concern, “Get some rest when you’re tired, why are you watching TV? TV it.” It is important to know that most career-oriented men are more concerned about politics, your “care and attention” can only backfire. But you can insert a few words of comfort in between commercials.
Taking the plunge with silence
You often find yourself getting to know the man you know so well.
You often find the man you know, talking and laughing, suddenly silent; the house is hot and bothering, but he sits on the couch and stares; you throw a string of words at him with enthusiasm, but he is oblivious.
In fact, at this time, the silence and dullness is just a man’s outward appearance, maybe his mind is thinking of some strange and weird idea, or thinking about some odd problem, or something has triggered his inspiration. It’s a kind of “retreat” when he’s in a silent state of thought.
They don’t want anyone to pull them out of their thoughtful state, and they don’t want anyone to interrupt or disrupt their “practice” in silence. If you can’t resist the impulse of curiosity or concern, ask him this or that question, such as, “What are you thinking about, tell me and I will help you advise? Or what do you have to say ah? Did you hear what I asked? It’s like asking for trouble.
To men, this is the time when all the concerned, thoughtful, well-meaning, curious questions are as disturbing as buzzing flies. At this point, you might as well be a silent follower. And the relaxed atmosphere you provide at the right time will not only make his silence much shorter, but will also make him grateful to you.
Treasure privacy with silence
Sometimes a man will make up a lie in an emergency, other times he will Sometimes men make up a lie in an emergency, and sometimes they try to hide something, such as having a few beers the night before, having a fling on a business trip, having just received an extra bonus, etc. The man’s vision is that as long as he doesn’t say anything, the woman doesn’t find out, everything will be simple. And sometimes, a man’s silence is another kind of concealment. He may think that the woman is too authoritarian, interfering with his freedom and rights, and she may even authoritatively arrange his daily life. So, in order to prevent the woman from breaking the casserole and prevent her transparent control and supervision of him, he chose to be silent. Without the trail of traces to follow, his world could be much clearer.
In a couple’s communication, if any taboo questions arise, there are a few more possibilities for a mutual relationship crisis. For example, when you repeatedly discuss with him the recent issues of sexual strength and weakness, emotional coldness, loyalty, bonus issues, etc., he knows in his heart like a mirror, knowing that more words will be lost, but he knows better than to say this revulsion, the gods can not show it, and so, it is used to prevent the problem with silence.
Men are always careful and try to avoid revealing their weaknesses as much as possible, especially in crisis situations where men can be extremely self-absorbed. If a woman nags him at this time, the man will get even more angry. And on sensitive topics such as past relationships and sex, men are often silent out of kindness, because men also need security, want to gain reassurance, and dream of presenting their best selves to women.
Men need to pretend
At the same time, male psychology researchers point out that men’s world is full of competition, which demands distance, false masks and calculation. Men face brutal challenges to their survival that women cannot imagine, and loneliness is inevitable.
And women feel that men must be hiding a lot of secrets in their hearts, so curiosity keeps pushing the depth of the digging.
But the first thing to get a man to open up when he is silent is to give him a sense of security that you will not, at any time, take advantage of his weaknesses. You can use that feminine passion to soothe him. You can also listen quietly to his narrative, evaluate it as objectively as possible, and work with him to find a solution.
In fact, there is always an underlying tendency for a man to be cocky, and as long as he has a large enough audience, he will come across as extremely charming, talkative, and interested. So, to ease the frozen atmosphere between each other, you might consider going to a bar or tea house with him. Because there, he can find the public that excites him. Either do something with someone else, such as asking someone to watch TV or go shopping with you, and he will surely come to you to break the deadlock after he finds that the position that should be his own is threatened.