Which way should couples use to get along in life? What is the best way to get along to make the relationship more permanent? “Space time” is a very special time that couples spend together. During this time, both partners leave all unpleasant memories or emotions behind, just like going to space in a spaceship and leaving all the unpleasantness on Earth. Both partners can completely let go of the topics that strain their relationship, say something that is true to their feelings and what will help their relationship, and offer care, support, and love to each other without reservation.
The goal is to keep negative emotions or attitudes from forming a divide that can alienate the relationship, break down communication, and make the other person feel helpless.
“Space time” needs to be agreed upon in advance so that it can be used when needed. Sit down when you are in a good mood and talk through the rules and procedures of “space time”. Like insurance, it’s too late to set it up when you need it. It’s a technique that can prevent relationships from deteriorating and even save them from breaking down, so it’s worth putting in place for every couple.
In general, you should have at least one hour of “space time” at a time, ideally 1-2 hours. During “space time”, both parties should never argue or complain about each other, bring up unresolved issues, settle old scores, negotiate, push each other, vent emotions on each other, or use tactics such as delaying or cheating. The topics chosen should be happy things the two have done together, some dreams in their hearts, some old friends, etc. As for the environment, the ideal is a quiet, comfortable, undisturbed coffee shop, or a teahouse in a suburban spot. The point of choosing the setting is to stay away from quarrelsome and contentious environments.
When two people have argued and have been in a cold war for a while, and one of them wants to mend things, he/she asks the other for a “space time”. This request can be expressed verbally or in writing. If a “space time” has restored reconciliation, the two can choose another time to discuss the issues that caused the conflict. Remember: another time must be chosen to avoid contaminating the positive feelings of both people about Space Time. If a Space Time session does not work, the two can agree on a date for a second Space Time session before it ends.
There are two things that are important in the operation of Space Time:
(1) When one party proposes the need for “space time,” the other party must not (1) When one party proposes the need for “space time,” the other party shall not refuse, but shall only consider scheduling the time to implement it as soon as possible. “Space time should be considered as a first aid kit for the relationship, an emergency mechanism for one partner to deal with a crisis in the relationship. If one partner refuses the other’s request for “space time,” the message he/she is sending is: “I don’t care about our relationship anymore, and I don’t care if it breaks up.”
(2) Both partners need to agree on a gesture as a signal. During “space time”, if one party forgets to follow the rules and starts complaining, criticizing, or venting, the other party can send this signal. When one party sees this signal, they need to change the topic and behavior immediately. If the other party gives this signal three times and the other party doesn’t change, the other party has the right to interrupt “space time” and leave.