Nowadays, many women are proud of marrying into a rich family, and I feel exhausted after experiencing this ten-year rich marriage, which is like a nightmare, and the real life of marrying into a rich family is so painful to me. Ten years I have lived a very nasty life, nasty to the point that I can only run back to my mother’s house every once in a while and yell at my elderly parents. Behind the party bragging is the lonely life of my rich wife, and my husband has become my deepest pain. How can I face this luxurious marriage?
For ten years of marriage, I have been forcing a smile on my face. The first time I counted, I had been married to Yan Cheng for a whole decade. Ten years, I have been the object of everyone’s envy, all uninformed people think I have a good life, married a good family. “I am just a superficially beautiful, behind the scenes I don’t know how much anger and aggravation I have suffered, and who knows?”
But is that really true? All I know is that I’ve had a pretty shitty ten years, so much so that I can only run back to my mother’s house every so often and yell at my elderly parents because I don’t dare put on any faces in front of my in-laws, even though I’m about to explode inside, and put on a pleasant face.
In addition, I was living a lonely life, so lonely that I had to make shopping a routine, and there was no way to pass the time if I didn’t go to the mall one day and wander around. Because my husband has long forgotten about me, the gossip about him and other women has been almost unbroken since we got married.
Perhaps, I do have enviable conditions. The most important daily pastime is walking around in my car and going to the mall. The most important thing is that you can’t live only for food and clothing, who doesn’t have a mind? Who does not have feelings and desires? But whenever I talk about these issues about the inner world, I always look gloomy. In order to cover up the hollowness inside, I can only make the surface articles more beautiful. The first thing that I did was to make sure that I had a good idea of what I was doing.
Especially at friends’ or classmates’ gatherings, I deliberately created this atmosphere, hanging on to my “husband” all the time and constantly bragging: “This This bag is bought for me by my husband from Hong Kong. This watch he brought me from abroad ……” and then I can get a little bit of vain satisfaction in the envious eyes of everyone.
It looks like harmony, but in fact I have no place in the family. After getting married to Yan Cheng, we have been living with my in-laws. In the eyes of outsiders, the two old people are so kind and reasonable, and they are also highly respected in the local community, so I should have no worries living with them. On the surface it does seem to be as everyone imagines. My father-in-law is a good earner, and he paid for all of my son’s expenses from birth to now, and gave me a lot of pocket money every month. My mother-in-law is a very hard-working woman, the home and outside the home clean up, almost no need for me to do housework. On New Year’s Eve, they bought me gifts and wrapped red envelopes. So, my friends and relatives think I am living a happy life.
But that’s not how I actually feel. I remember the day the wedding was held, all my relatives from my mother’s family came to sit in the new house. Most of them live in rural areas and did not have the habit of changing their slippers when they entered the room, which resulted in the floor being dirty. My mother-in-law immediately changed her face and wiped the floor with a rag after people’s feet, even though they were still there. I think this is not very polite, so I discouraged, “Mom, wait for me to clean up tonight.” But she said, “I can’t stand to see the house dirty.” At that, the relatives were so embarrassed that they hurriedly left. What made me even more depressed was that after sending the last guest away, she grumbled, “I’m so annoyed, why are these people so unkempt?” I was so angry, and I finally realized that my mother-in-law despised my mother’s family from the bottom of her heart.
In addition to that, my in-laws’ over-indulgence and favoritism toward Yan Cheng was also a source of indignation. The two of us had an argument over a small matter a few days after we got married, and I was so angry that I sulked in my room alone and refused to go downstairs when it was time to eat. After a while, I heard Yan Cheng say to his parents-in-law, “I’ll go get Lirong to come downstairs for dinner.” The father-in-law dismissed him with the words, “My Yan’s daughter-in-law is not allowed to have such a temper. Then, I heard my mother-in-law say, “You’re a man, you have to be tougher.” Thus, the first dispute between Yan Cheng and me was a total collapse due to my in-laws’ intervention. There are many similar things. The company’s first ever “The New York Times” was the first to be released.
Even when I cried at home after the scandal about him and other women broke out, my mother-in-law advised me, “Men are like that nowadays, you have to be open-minded. As long as Yan Cheng gives you no less than a penny a month, you’ll be fine.” The most frustrating thing is that I don’t have any say in the family. What’s even more annoying is that I can’t even make decisions about my son, when he goes to kindergarten and which elementary school he chooses, it’s all up to my in-laws. I felt like I was completely redundant in that family, no one cared about my opinion, no one cared about my feelings. I think “depressing” is an apt description of my life situation.
On the one hand, I had to deal with my father-in-law, who was an absolute authority and very demanding of his daughter-in-law, and on the other hand, I had to deal with my mother-in-law, who was a nagger and a nagger, and I had to watch what I said and did all the time, for fear of being scolded by her. But there is always the time to explode, in front of them dare not show, in front of the closest parents do not need to hide. So, almost every time I go back to my mother’s house, I cry hysterically once, or find fault with my parents and yell at them.
Whenever my friends and classmates get together, I’m always talking about my “husband” and bragging about it. In fact, in this 10-year-long marriage, my deepest pain also comes from him. I was only married for six months when a woman openly called me to provoke me, saying that “Yan Cheng loves me, you are just a puppet to marry home”. I was pregnant at the time, I was almost mad when I heard this, but I cried and made a fuss, but nothing worked. Yan Cheng said: “I am such a person, always act according to my own feelings. The more you force me, the more I have to confront you.” I still can’t help but shed tears when I remember those days.
Other women were able to enjoy their husbands’ care and pampering during pregnancy and childbirth, and stay happy in their moods, but Yan Cheng and I quarreled whenever we met, and were angry all day long. In the days that followed, similar situations did not break. Today, I heard that Yan Cheng had an affair with a woman, and tomorrow I heard that he was having an affair with another woman, of which, there is no shortage of bold, directly to the home. Their purpose is only one: to ask for money. At first, I was angry as hell. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Growing numb, I was able to laugh it off in the face of all the gossip flying around, as long as Yan Cheng didn’t mention divorce to me, and as long as his parents recognized me as their daughter-in-law, I didn’t care what happened to him outside. Recently, Yan Cheng had a new situation. Not only does he rarely come home, his attitude towards me is also getting worse and worse, slightly not to his liking, he gets angry and either slams the door and leaves or sneers at me. I can’t help but be a little worried, after all, I’m not the same as I was 10 years ago, and I’m getting older every day, so I no longer have the confidence to “let him play, tired of playing will eventually return to the nest, back to me”. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers.
So I started to think seriously about my marriage. The conclusion is: from the emotional point of view alone, I do not have much attachment to this marriage; but after all, there are many practical factors in life, such as the son’s belonging, such as I left Yan Cheng, how to live in the future? Even if I choose to divorce, will I become the laughing stock of everyone is my concern. The company is still in a state of disarray, and I can’t make sense of it.