In the past, people always got measles once before they grew up, and the earlier they got measles, the less harmful it was, and the older they got, the more harmful it was. I think it’s the same way with relationships.
My college life was storyless, so to speak. Although I had many opportunities, I knew I didn’t have the ability to commit to anything, and I was afraid that all the promises I heard would not stand the test of time and reality, so I kept my dream inside me in college and didn’t let it become a “story”.
I met L by chance in my second year of work, just after I had been released from a “platonic” spiritual relationship. I was longing to be appreciated and loved when he came after me, especially the day after he met me he approached me, giving me a sense of being truly appreciated and accepted as a “friend”. So I quickly accepted him – as my first real lover. The first thing I did with him, not to mention kissing, was to hold hands with someone of the opposite sex, for the first time in my life.
I didn’t expect that within a few weeks of spending time with L, the man I was determined to forget, the man I thought didn’t know how to truly appreciate and cherish me, Z, would suddenly come to me and say that he now finally knew how good I was and how important I was to him, and that he wanted to start loving me properly from the beginning. I was very conflicted in this situation and wandered for a long time. z was my ideal life partner, but after all, we had only ever unspoken and never really started; but l was someone who really appreciated and would cherish me, and we had already started to love each other.
Once I decided on someone, I loved him with all my heart and passion, but not blindly, and I paid attention to observe and understand him from many aspects. I should say, he is really good, I cherish this relationship. I love him. Trust him and respect him. And always try to look out for him. I always think. If you really love someone, this – everything is natural, and should be done. Later, as the relationship deepened, in his repeated promises and assurances, I used all that I could give to her lover as a woman to love him. That period of time, is so warm and sweet. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers.
Despite his commitment to me about marriage, at the same time he was always using all sorts of reasons to convince me that it wasn’t time to get married yet. I also know that there is some truth in his words, and in fact to get married we are perfectly qualified. I’m just afraid of losing him, I really don’t know if we break up after this – with him, how can I face life normally in the future, how can I face another man who will spend this life with me normally, I really can’t imagine. I think two people stay together for a long time, there will naturally be – some friction, but as long as two people really love each other, can each other tolerance and understanding each other, all problems can be solved.
Things didn’t turn out the way I had hoped, and no matter how hard I tried, his heart grew farther and farther away from me. Maybe I care too much about him, love him too much, and invariably care about the depth of his feelings for himself, so I did something not very wise to make him feel pressured, so he slowly “did not feel” for me. Perhaps this fact made me more irrational, more reluctant to let go of him, and more unable to calm down and accept the possibility of losing him. However, in the end, he still decided to leave me. But I did not give up completely, I hope that time will prove that I am a person, as well as I such a love is worth his life cherished. But a few months later, I heard that he had a new girlfriend. I found him and he told me that lost love and feelings are hard to get back, and that if I thought he had to live up to his promise, then he could sacrifice a lifetime of happiness and marry me at that once-agreed upon time.
What kind of talk is that? I am, after all, still an independent intellectual woman. Although I love him, I don’t want to beg him to love me again. I cherish this relationship, I just hope that each other can give each other another chance to make this relationship more solid after the test of time. “In order to love, lost love is necessary; in order to light, darkness is necessary”; “If not a cold bone, which get plum blossom fragrance”. For more than half a year, I have been trying to come out of the shadow of that lost love, and constantly reflecting on myself, constantly transforming and improving myself. I don’t think my life is just for him, but I still hope that one day he will suddenly wake up to the fact that I am still the most worthy of his life cherished woman, I am still waiting for him to come back to me, is still to know how to appreciate me, will cherish and love my identity to accompany me in this life. In addition to waiting, I must also be self-reliant, I must make myself a more lovable and cherishable woman. The first thing I did was to make sure that I had a good idea of what I wanted to do and he didn’t look back, so that a man who was so gullible, so disloyal, so irresponsible would not be my love anymore.
In the past few months, we haven’t had any contact with each other. I had largely returned to a normal life and had largely regained my old confidence and enthusiasm for life. However, two weeks ago, a friend of his who we used to play very well came to see me for something, and after that, I somehow fell into the same kind of low mood I was in a while ago. I couldn’t control myself, and when I thought of him, I burst into tears again, completely unable to myself. Sometimes I almost lost hope for life; I don’t want to die so weakly for lost feelings, but I really don’t know how to rekindle the enthusiasm for life. I couldn’t help but think about how to leave peacefully and how to cause as little pain or negative impact to my family and friends as possible. This was my first and only relationship, so how could I not be sad and desperate?
But I finally made it out of the doldrums again. It’s now a year away from that time that was once agreed upon. I have rebuilt my beliefs and goals in life. I am now planning to spend the first six months preparing for graduate school and the second six months studying English – all things I used to plan to do, but then gave up on myself because of him and the many unexpected things that happened, and now just pick them up again with a change of understanding. I think I will still wait for him for another year. Perhaps, what I am waiting for is not a result, but a definite answer to myself, a reason to convince myself to give up decisively. I think, after a year, if he came back, then I waited for a man who is still worthy of my love and accompanied by a lifetime (no matter how unpleasant things have happened in the middle, I think I can understand and tolerate; besides, he has a certain relationship with me); if a year later he did not come back, then I lost, but also – a long time ago I’ve lost someone who doesn’t belong to me and is no longer worth my time. The first is that I need time to adjust my mind and reflect on myself, and the second is that I need time to rebuild my self-confidence and rebuild my world that has completely collapsed because of him.
But this perseverance is not so easy. I don’t know how many times I thought he could be so heartless to me and my heart felt like a knife and tears fell. I’ve asked myself countless times, if he can treat me like this, will he still be a person worthy of my infatuation? The actual fact is, I’m not sure if he’ll be able to come back. In fact, I just can’t spill the beans on this relationship thing, I just want to finally make a decision (a decision that won’t change again) while obsessively waiting for an answer that I won’t regret for the rest of my life.
Perhaps, I actually knew the outcome already. The first time I saw it, I had to go back to my home. So what am I supposed to do, and what can I do?
The TV station is playing “How much love can I start over” and the song is singing “How much love can I start over”. Yes, how much love is there to start over?
Doctors’ comments: People need feelings, they care about them, but how much do they know about them and how much do they know about them? The answer is no, which is why the question “How much love can we start over? In the face of the high divorce rate, people have raised the same question: How much love can last forever? The question of how much love lasts is raised by the same question: how much love lasts forever?
The heroine’s conception and understanding of love is very questionable, and it is the source of her subsequent love tragedies.
One of them is the “one-sided” attitude of “total devotion” to love. This in itself is a kind of blindness, although she herself does not admit it. The actual fact is that you need to think rationally and gradually warm up, thinking as you go, both to feel him and to understand him. Human thoughts and feelings are complex and variable, and many factors are not certain. Isn’t it blind to throw yourself into all of them in a short period of time?
Two, wishful thinking to get love. The first of these is to make sure that you are not losing him by putting in the effort and trying to prove that you are worthy of his love when he has already distanced himself from her, which makes him go even harder. She thinks of love as a crop, and that one must reap what one has sown. But she is not dealing with land, but with a man, who has his own opinions and choices, and when he does not accept her, no matter how much she gives, there will be no harvest.
Third, believe in commitment. With his repeated promises, she gave him her full love, which was childish. The easiest thing in the world is to promise, and the hardest thing is to fulfill. How can one confuse the two? Even if you marry to fulfill a promise, what is the value of a marriage where he has no more love or feeling for her? Love doesn’t need commitment, commitment doesn’t sustain love.
Fourth, when love doesn’t last, it doesn’t mean that he’s “gullible and unfaithful”.
Love can have its ebb and flow, and it can flow freely for many reasons. Love is “illogical”, just like people who used to like red, but later prefer green, which has nothing to do with the moral phenomenon of “starting and ending a relationship”. It is common to fall in love several times before the result is achieved, meet and fall in love is a process of exploration, the process does not have the feeling of love, there is no need to enter into marriage. Some people accuse each other claiming, “What’s wrong with me, why did you leave me?” This is a misconception, as if 1 plus 1 must equal 2. Love is neither mathematical nor physical, there is no formula nor law. Ten people will have ten opinions about the same person. When the person you love is no longer interested in you, leave him in peace and walk towards the person who is interested in you is.
Persistence, for study and work is the driving force for success, but for relationships, it is based on being able to get in and get out. What we need is a love, people are only the carrier of this love. When love and people are no longer together, this person is no longer important, why for his heart like a knife. The first thing you need to do is to wait for a second love. A woman with love in her heart will not be unloved.
He’s right, love is like a work of art, broken beyond repair. So, how much love can no longer be repeated, you can find another way. This is a place where flowers do not bloom.
Experience is wealth, frustration is a lesson in life, the wise man is not complaining, but deeply reflecting on himself and improving himself. A woman does not need to deliberately change herself for someone man to please, but she must pursue her own continuous improvement for her own excellence. Such a woman, at the age of 80, is still the most good, the most beautiful, and the most loving. (Reviewer: Qingfeng)