Case in point: I’m not pretty, but I’m not ugly, and I’m on my third birthday. I’m not in a hurry, but my mother is. She nags me all the time, mentioning that she’s looking for someone for me, and forcing me to go on a blind date. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the market.
Later, my grandparents also pressured me. Even my classmates and friends advised me: women become idiots when they fall in love, and it’s good to lay out the rational stuff to each other before we talk.
So I started dating with the mindset of giving it a try, thinking that I might actually find happiness. I just couldn’t get into the swing of things, and I felt awkward on every date. Until now, people have met eight or nine, all met a side and did not follow. Some are I did not see, there are others did not see me. My heart is very sad, if not for the family, this life will not get married. And, before dating I was not so low self-esteem, but after dating, I was hit: their own conditions are not very bad, why can often feel that the other party does not seem to be very satisfied with it? Should I continue dating for the sake of my elders? I really don’t want to go back.
Expert Answer:
A person who has not found the right person in their life It is true that it is not a pleasant thing to need to be introduced by others and go on a blind date. However, there are few people who find a soulmate through this way and get a successful married life. Therefore, the way of matchmaking is desirable, but the idea of “matchmaking for the sake of elders” is not desirable. The author believes that this passive idea and attitude is the main reason why you repeatedly fail in matchmaking.
Secondly, repeated unsuccessful blind dates may also be related to the poor first impression you and the other party leave on each other. The first impression, the first contact with people to the other side of the image characteristics, psychology is called the “first cause effect”. The first impression in interpersonal communication has a very stable stereotypical effect, and the first impression one leaves on others has a great impact on the success of interpersonal communication, especially the special interpersonal communication of matchmaking.
Through extensive analysis, researchers have summarized the factors that influence the formation of first impressions: ①Appearance. It refers not only to the face, but also to the physical appearance, temperament, look and subtle differences in clothing, which should be dignified and neatly dressed. Excessive novelty, fashionable or unkempt are detrimental to their own image. ②Verbal communication and non-verbal communication. Including tone of voice, tone of voice and body manner when talking. Appropriate speech and manner, treating people kindly, warmly and politely, can leave a deep impression on the other party. The first impression you make is that you are self-righteous, uncaring, boastful, or overly “modest,” obsequious, or at a loss for words.
It’s not hard to quickly change the first impression you make. If you didn’t pay attention to what others were saying, start practicing listening quietly and responding positively to what others are saying. These positive shifts in respect and attention can make you feel more approachable and will make you more accepted and liked by the other person.