I grew up living in praise, thanks to my parents, thanks to the Creator, who drew beautiful arcs on me, bright-eyed and naturally beautiful, and everyone said I was good-looking. “Youth is a priceless treasure, you have to cherish it.” A relative said something like that. I was very young at the time and didn’t fully understand it, but it made me proud to understand that I had something that many people can only dream of.
Since middle school, so many people kept writing me so-called love letters, one after another, with lines full of compliments on my looks. I opened a few of them and then stopped paying attention. Despite this, there were still people writing, and some even handed them to me in person. These things affected my studies to a certain extent, and some of them did not get a response, so they talked badly about me behind my back, which made me very distressed. One boy wrote to me repeatedly and intercepted me on the way from school. I had no choice but to tell my parents about it, so my parents stepped in to find his parents, and to my surprise, his parents were unreasonable, saying that my parents had given birth to me, a vixen, who winks at boys all day long and doesn’t study well, and made my parents so angry that they couldn’t eat for days.
I didn’t want to be a vase woman, I had to show those people that I wasn’t a person who lived on a pretty face, and I made up my mind to dive into my books and stop paying attention to those messy things. I was able to get into a major university.
The university campus, which has been described as an ivory tower, is a love paradise to many people, and because they are all adults, relationships are all the rage. I was asked to go to the movies, and some people simply did what the Seventh Master did in “The Goldbergs” and called my name downstairs, which I treated with silence.
One weekend shortly after school started, I went to a fellow countryman’s place to play and on my way back to school, two drunken men blocked me, grimacing and laughing, mouthing dirty, nasty things and trying to run their hands all over me. I cried out and the people who heard the news made the two smelly men flee quickly. This frightening encounter has caused some psychological mutation in me, and I have developed a very paranoid view of men, feeling that they always display their desires in a naked manner.
One day I wore a new skirt to the bus, and there were a lot of people. I noticed a man behind me clinging to me, so I elbowed him as a warning, but the man didn’t pay any attention and instead leaned closer to me, and I could clearly feel some part of his body I clearly felt some part of his body hard against my buttocks. I was so ashamed that I got off the bus before I got to my stop, and when I noticed the sticky, dirty stuff on my skirt, I was so disgusted that I ran to a clothing store to buy a pair of pants and threw the nice new skirt in the trash.
This harassment in broad daylight caused me to be very resistant to sex that I hadn’t yet experienced. So, I was as cold as ice all day and night, not accepting any man’s favor. After many guys hit the wall, I was given many nicknames, what “thorny rose”, “ice beauty” …… I ignored, just burying my head in study. I spent almost all of my time in the classroom and library during my four-year college career. Focusing on my studies allowed me to stay in school with honors when I graduated.
Beautifulness led me to find the man of my dreams
Zhuang Zihong is an alumnus of the previous classes. I met him during the centennial celebration, and he was a “returnee” with a great presence, exuding the charm of a successful man. Similarly, he also fell in love with me at first sight. “You have the elegance and subtlety of an oriental woman, a traditional beauty that you don’t see much anymore.” This is what Zhuang Zihong said to me when we met for the second time. His appreciation was just right, and I felt that the door to my locked heart was slowly opening. We fell in love quite naturally.
Zhuang Zihong has his own company with a lot of beautiful employees. However, through observation, I found that he is a decent man, he and those beautiful women are only employer-employee relationship, there is no such commonplace ambiguous relationship. He was not the kind of man I hated, so I fell in love without a care in the world.
Dating time continued to grow, and there was inevitably some intimacy between us. Zhuang Zihong’s eyes showed desire more than once, but when the moment came, my subconscious drove me to stop him from going further. “Okay, I’m going to make you my perfect bride.” Zhuang Zihong tried to restrain himself, “Even if people say we are the most corny bride and groom of the 21st century, I will wait until that day.”
At last, the night of the wedding, although my desire had been aroused by Zhuang Zihong’s gentle and delicate caresses, I could not be naked with him, I covered myself with the quilt, and later I asked Zhuang Zihong to turn off the lights. Although it was in the dark, but we were both very aroused, we groped each other’s body, everything was so mysterious, we called each other’s name, each other reached the most beautiful mountain peak in the world. I lay there all limp, secretly glad that I had completed sexual intercourse with him without the slightest psychological barrier. The first thing I did was to turn on the light, and he used a towel to carefully wipe the bodily fluids from my body and the bed sheets. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the market.
This happened more than once, and Zhuang Zihong didn’t take it to heart. “It’s good to get used to it,” he said lightly. I didn’t tell him about the sexual harassment I suffered; I didn’t want him to worry about taking a pretty wife.
Buying a house and getting married, Zhuang Zihong wouldn’t let me use a single penny of my own savings. “This is the business of successful men, you will be a wife in peace and quiet.” The company’s main goal is to provide a good service to its customers. After the marriage, all the household expenses by him, he also gave me a credit card: “Buy the most fashionable clothes, go to the best beauty salon, you have to maintain their beautiful face.” I think I’m the happiest woman in the world, with no worries about food and clothing and a warm and caring husband.
Zhuang Zihong not only treats me well, he also bought two very spacious houses for my parents and my brother, and the red envelopes he sends to my family on New Year’s Eve are not small. He was so generous that none of my family members said how good he was, and every time I went back to my mother’s house, my parents said that I should treat him well.
Beautiful, so I finally realized I was still a vase
Became Mrs. Zhuang, I thought there would be no more incidents of harassment like in the past, but I was wrong. The people who took me to some cocktail parties were all business celebrities, and the eyes of those people were very complicated: “Zhuang Zihong is really lucky to be married to such a beautiful woman.” When Zhuang Zihong went to the bathroom, a man of his age came up to me and said this, his eyes were looking straight at my breasts, which made me very disgusted. He introduced to me that the man was his partner in recent years and had helped him a lot in business. He asked me to accompany this man for a chat, but he himself went somewhere else.
It was like getting a pass, and the man spoke more recklessly, and I was on pins and needles, complaining that Zhuang Zihong shouldn’t have taken me to such a party and met such a man. The man then actually rubbed his foot against me under the table, and I couldn’t stand it, so I stood up and left.
After this, when Zhuang Zihong wanted to take me to those occasions again, I refused. “Give some face, okay? You see others are ……” “I’m not not giving you face, Zihong, I can’t stand the stares of those people, like they want to eat me up.” “This shows that you have enough charm ah, my beautiful wife.” Zhuang Zihong looked smug. “And you’re not jealous? Don’t you think it’s disrespectful for those people to take advantage of me?” I was very angry at his carelessness, “What kind of jealousy do I have? You have already got a wife, and those people are salivating over you, which means they are not as good as me, and they didn’t get to pick you home first.” I felt a sting in his argument, but could not find the right words to refute him.
The behavior of the men at the banquet, and Zhuang Zihong’s lack of care, brought me down to my knees, and every time I accepted him passively, sometimes when he moved too hard and hurt me, I just quietly endured it, not petulantly making tricks to punish him as I had in the past.
After I gave birth, my body lost some shape, and I didn’t expect Zhuang Zihong to care more than I did. He bought a very expensive exercise machine and let me practice twice a day. Every woman wants to be in good shape all the time, and I gladly accepted.
After careful care and exercise, I quickly regained my original curvaceous figure. The first thing I did was to find that I was not as averse to sex as I had been after I had given birth, and that I had a desire for it at times. However, gradually, I found that Zhuang Zihong did not ask to linger every now and then like he did in the past, sometimes I took the initiative, he also used various excuses to perfume me. I thought he was having an affair, through some meticulous probing, did not find any traces. “Zihong, am I not doing well, or is your body ……?” I couldn’t help but ask him, I felt we had to communicate with each other or the marriage would be in trouble.
“No, you’re fine, and my body is fine, but …… the book says that sex affects your face, and I don’t want you to age prematurely, so we or as little sex as possible.” Zhuang Zihong’s words surprised me, I have not heard of such a statement. I did not complain much, I was not that keen on sex. One night, I was woken up by Zhuang Zihong, who turned out to be masturbating. “Zihong, why are you suffering, I am your wife.” I said so. “I just want you to keep your bright face forever. A husband with a successful career and a wife as ravishing as a flower, that’s how I can prove I’m a truly successful man.”
Zhuang Zihong’s words made waves in the lake of my heart. It turned out that, since the beginning, I was nothing but a vase, a sign of a man’s success. The fact that I suffered sexual harassment before and after marriage, as well as Zhuang Zihong’s various attitudes on sex, made me have an extremely complex psychology about sex, I desire sex but hate it, reject it, and resent the once-a-week sex that Zhuang Zihong thinks is reasonable, for this reason, the conflict between us intensifies day by day. I didn’t want this, and many times I often wondered if being beautiful was a heavy burden for women, too.
Expert Comment: Regarding the good story of love, the saying of a talented man and a beautiful woman has been passed down in China since ancient times. From the perspective of social psychology, the idea that has been widely circulated for a long time must have its special meaning and value. In fact, both talented people and talented women reveal the same message.
One is the message of reciprocity, that is, the two parties who love each other, by comprehensive evaluation, should not differ too much. Talented men, whose financial strength is relatively strong, can ensure good material living conditions for their spouses and the offspring they produce, so those women who can inherit beauty to their offspring will not lose out if they are matched with him. By the same token, beauty is a rare resource that requires a counterpart, such as wealth, to appear symmetrical. In reality, being very beautiful and wealthy belong to a very small minority, which is why talented men and women become good stories. The harassment she experienced belongs to the rogue expressions of men who cannot reciprocate and want to take advantage and leave a shadow in her heart.
The second is the message that it is good for fertility and offspring. Why do people value male talent and female beauty, rather than the other way around? This has to do with the division of labor between the sexes in the natural reproductive process. Since natural sex determines the different roles of the two sexes in reproduction, differences in what people want from the two sexes emerge. Females are responsible for providing the rare eggs and the heavy lifting of pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding, and since beautiful females are rarer, it is possible to place higher demands on a mate. Men are only responsible for providing the production of sperm, and if they do not have superior talents or strong financial resources to show their rarity and prove that they have extraordinary abilities, they are naturally unworthy of a beautiful woman.
Three is the message of bragging and display. For humans, a spouse is not only a life partner, but also has the role of showing to outsiders that he or she is superior, capable, and competent, among other things. While enjoying the material conditions provided by her husband for herself and her family, the wife feels a sense of glory. The same is true for the husband. The praise from colleagues and friends to the wife is in fact an indirect affirmation to the husband. He enjoys the satisfaction that comes from such bragging. Of course, the confidence he has because of his ability also makes him unafraid of the competitiveness of other men.