Loss of love is a major event in life, especially those that are engraved in the bones of a person’s heart are like an earthquake in the mind, with far-reaching effects, and if not handled well, some people can never get out of it, so it is important to treat every loss of love well.
What to do after a breakup?
1. First of all, you have to vent your emotions correctly.
Unless it is an active breakup type, generally speaking, breakups experience emotions such as anger, hurt, aggravation, and pity, which are very normal, just like a person who gets burned will scream in pain. These emotions need to be dealt with in a timely manner, you can confide in your friends and family, you can also hold a pillow and cry silently, you can also listen to some sad music to ease the emotions, etc. In any case, negative emotions need to be channeled out, otherwise, a person with negative emotions or suppressing their emotions can have a great negative impact on the relationship later on.
2. After the emotions are vented, rational and cognitive adjustments need to be made.
A common reaction people have after a breakup is: Why did you break up? How could the other party abandon me? What did I do wrong? How can the other party abandon me? We were fine, how come we suddenly changed? And so on. To really figure out the reasons for these, it is actually quite complicated, you ask the other party, sometimes the other party does not really give the answer, and even the other party themselves do not know the reason. Because some things involve feelings, can not say, express not clear, you dwell on these rather counterproductive. The right approach is that if you really want to know the reason, you can read some professional emotional books, or find a better understanding of your feelings to help you analyze, it is not possible to do psychological counseling. After finding the reason, you know why the other party abandoned himself, so for your future relationship is very necessary. In this sense, losing love is not necessarily a bad thing, but rather a treasure, as Tagore said, “Life has meaning because of love, and life is richer because of the loss of love.”
A particular misconception to avoid: don’t think that falling out of love means losing everything and closing yourself off
According to According to our research on the phenomenon of lost love, the causes of lost love are quite complex, and lost love varies from person to person, so it is difficult for many people who have lost love to gain the understanding of others. For example, there are people who comfort the lost love: it’s just a beautiful woman, isn’t it? There are a lot of beautiful women out there, so why not find them? This statement completely ignores the emotional investment before the loss of love, which not only can not make the lost love relief, but also make the lost love feel not understood. Some of the lost love will be devastated, and even closed self. This is actually a wrong perception. Just because the people around you don’t understand you doesn’t mean the professionals don’t understand.
3. You can keep yourself appropriately busy after a breakup
A breakup Afterwards is a psychological loss, there is bound to be a lot of time to reflect, there will be more lonely feelings, on the one hand, the family and friends of the lost love to support the lost love in a timely manner, on the other hand the lost love to do something, especially those things that are usually rarely touched, even if there is a little interest to do. This is actually an emotional transfer method, i.e., allowing oneself to focus on the lost love emotion into something that interests you.
It’s also a good idea to structure your meeting activities according to your stage of loss, with less exposure to the internet and more exposure to real life, such as shopping, playing ball, and going to parties.
4. Reduce your exposure to love situations
Watch less of those Love movies and TV, less marriage ceremonies, this is actually a kind of situational arousal, and some people may not understand what is meant by situational arousal. The first time I saw a couple of people who were in love with each other, the situation might evoke memories of their old relationship, which is bitter and sweet.
There is no benefit for a lost love to be exposed to such situations, so it is better to reach out to friends and family, without their too many words, just company. Read more classic books so that you can learn to settle down and learn to enjoy solitude.
5. Get more in touch with nature and travel if you can
Contact Nature is a great way to heal, both by being close to nature and feeling its energy, and by bringing about a shift in mindset to stop feeling sad about your personal feelings. Get in touch with nature and treat love and loss as a natural process in which all things are alive and well. Travel must not be a repetition of the journey the two have taken in the past; it can be a way to take advantage of this loss of love to go to places that have long wanted to be explored strangely, a way of emotional appeasement and positive emotional mobilization.
6. Don’t enter another relationship right after a breakup
As long as it is A heartbreaking breakup prevents you from falling in love again for at least three months. It is recommended that you slowly enter the next relationship only after six months and try to reach out to new people, but never establish a relationship right away. Some people think that relationships can be said to be good, which is a self-consciousness amplification of the wrong perception, which is both irresponsible for their former feelings, but also for the next relationship, because you lost the ability to love others, and at this moment into the next relationship can only be the recipient of feelings, which is very bad for the longevity of the new relationship.
7. Listen to more positive music
From our professional research
1. The denial stage, i.e. how could he have abandoned me?
2. The acknowledgement stage: I finally lost him.
3. The depression stage, i.e. how could someone like me be abandoned by him?
4. The recovery stage, i.e., slowly coming out of the breakup and returning to the pre-relationship stage.
People in different stages of a breakup should listen to different songs. The more songs that match the stage they are in, the easier it is to reach empathy and the better the healing effect.
For example, people in the acknowledgement stage would do best to listen to “So Be It” (Power Train) and “I Finally Lost You” (Zhao Zhao). I finally lost you” (Zhao Chuan), etc., people in the depression stage would be better off listening to “Don’t let my tears stay with me through the night” (Qi Qin) and “It’s so hard to love someone” (Su Yongkang), etc., and people in the recovery stage would be better off listening to songs like “The price of love” (Zhang Aijia) and “Starting to understand” (Sun Yanzhi), etc. This new method of classifying lost love songs is good for listeners to find the right stage of lost love for them. In addition, if the listener feels that the songs belonging to his or her stage are enough to express the heart, he or she may also want to listen to the songs of the next stage. This way of listening to songs helps to speed up the recovery from the trauma of lost love.
It’s hard to get out of a broken relationship if the sting of the song you listen to after a breakup is wrong, even if the melody is beautiful.
In short, a lost love must first relieve himself of all kinds of negative emotions in some appropriate way (including music), get the understanding and support of friends and family, get close to nature, transfer the negative emotions brought about by the lost love, and if possible, do the necessary self-reflection The first thing you need to do is to do the necessary self-reflection and self-improvement, so that you can slowly get out of the shadow of your lost love.