My mother-in-law is, shall we say, a mother-in-law-to-be. We haven’t gotten our marriage license yet.
My husband and I live with my in-laws, all four of us work, but their jobs are relatively much easier. The house was bought new and my in-laws put up the lion’s share, we only had to pay back a little of the loan. Rumor has it that my mother-in-law is a very powerful person, but she was quite nice to me. We haven’t lived there long, only about a month, and over that month, my mother-in-law-to-be has been constantly coaching me, cooking, doing laundry, washing dishes, grocery shopping, cleaning ……
I was quite happy at first. Slowly getting less and less happy. The more she asks me to do something, the less I want to do it. For example, I was planning to do the laundry, but at this time I heard her say “xxx clothes to be washed,” and I did not want to do it. I used to be impatient because she went far away to buy a little bit of food, ignoring her on the way not to say a word, and then she came back to talk to me like nothing, I do not know whether to be ashamed or angry. I was determined never to cook and wash dishes these two days, and she didn’t say anything, I was quite ashamed of myself.
Since we’ve been living together, there has been one major conflict in the family, and it was my husband who had a big fight with his parents, but it was me who was the fuse. That day I did not clean up the room to go out with my husband to play until about 9 o’clock back, once back mother-in-law began to criticize her husband, saying that he threw things around, never know cleaning and tidying up the room, her husband drank a little wine that day, and he was quite wronged, a good back to be scolded, a little his anger up to tell his mother to shut up, this conflict has escalated, and finally a big fight also dropped something, and then his father came out The father came out and yelled a few times to calm down, and I ran out to apologize that I did not clean up the room before it subsided. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers.
I can’t say what’s wrong with her, at best she likes to point at me when I’m doing something. But we all just don’t feel comfortable living together. Maybe it’s just that you don’t know how to appreciate it, shouldn’t you scold?
Blogger Reply:
It’s clear that you and your boyfriend haven’t been in love for very long The first thing you need to do is to get a new daughter-in-law to live in his house, so you say “I was quite happy at first”. The company’s main goal is to help you to be a virtuous wife, plus she is usually very nice to you, so even though she makes you tired and annoyed, you are still understanding her in a good way.
You don’t know much about your mother-in-law-to-be, except that you’ve heard she’s great, and your boyfriend rarely talks about her in general, or even refuses to talk about her, so you can’t get to know her through him. Your boyfriend also doesn’t want to hear about your troubles with being tuned in; he just wants you to bring him pleasure and comfort. When you are with him, the emotional atmosphere is dominated by him, the attention is all on him, and you enjoy it, so the troubles your mother-in-law-to-be brings you are temporarily suppressed.
What his relationship with his mother is like, and what his mother is like, is clear from the “shut up incident” you describe. His mom was upset that you guys didn’t get home until 9:00 p.m. She was upset for a number of reasons, but definitely not because he was throwing things around. The real reason should be this: his mother was in a bad mood that day, and when she is in a bad mood, she especially misses her son, and she will be settled when he is around her, but the fact that he went out to play with you and played so late made her mood bad to the critical point to explode.
“As soon as I got back, my mother-in-law started criticizing my husband, saying that he throws things around and never knows how to clean and tidy up his room.” — She was ostensibly talking about him, but in fact she was talking about you, because you hadn’t cleaned up your room that day as she had asked. She can do this to achieve three purposes: 1, to vent the unhappiness in her heart; 2, to express her dissatisfaction and dislike for you; 3, to create conflicts between you, so that you are upset in your heart to go to him to quarrel.
The reason why your boyfriend told her to shut up is because old grudges and new ones came to his mind. He knows exactly what his mother is up to, which is to break you up, which is to keep him all to himself! The girlfriends he had talked to before were all yellowed by her and he used to be miserable. Now when he saw that she had come to break you up again, he was furious, so he yelled at her to shut up through the strength of his drink. He yelled, his mother immediately felt hurt, love of son was hurt, face was hurt, the month of repressed pain and anger instantly erupted – “this conflict escalated, and finally a big fight also dropped something, and then his father came out and yelled a few times to calm down “.
His mother looks like a wife whose husband cheated on her widow, your boyfriend looks like her beloved husband, and you have become a third party in her eyes. The husband has the audacity to get the mistress to live at home, but also the wife to serve, is a woman are going to be furious. Unfortunately, they are mother and son, not husband and wife, and his mother has a strong son fetish mentality and hates all of her son’s women.
Because she knows her son likes you now, she doesn’t dare to declare war on you head on, she can only take advantage of The next step is either you automatically move out or have a head-on conflict with her. She has a lot of experience fighting young women, and she will win in the end, because she knows her son, and every woman is not fresh for long. As soon as he doesn’t like her anymore, they will mother and son work together to get rid of her. Besides, the house was hers, and she had the money on hand to keep her son from leaving her.
You’re a simple, passive woman with a bit of a temper, and it’s not destined to make you compatible with her. The most important thing is that you have to be able to do it. The actual fact is that you will be able to get a lot more than just a few of these.