The day before the date you have already thought about what to talk about on the date, but when it comes to the real thing, two people are still talking one sentence up and two sentences down, and the atmosphere is awkward. The actual date of the date is certainly important, but how to fully use these topics is also dating people should learn the dating chat skills. The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you want to do.
One, how to avoid the “one question, one answer” chat that starts with one sentence and ends with two
One, how to avoid the “one question, one answer” chat that starts with one sentence and ends with two sentences
ALIGN:left;TEXT-INDENT:2em”>The most unsuccessful dating chats are usually at the “observational” level, meaning that both parties are only exchanging information about what they know about their surroundings, and not about themselves at all.
For example, A says, “It’s a nice day!” B replies, “Yes, it’s a nice day.” Then the conversation is over. If you say a sentence or two more, add something that relates to your thoughts and feelings, you may be able to open up the conversation. For example, “Yeah, I hate this weather, last time it rained I XXXXXXX”, or “When the weather is nice, I usually like to go to XXXXXXX.”
That is, even if you start out a little abruptly, you can move into a deeper conversation by expressing your thoughts and feelings. Psychology calls this “self-disclosure”. So talk more about yourself and encourage the other person to talk a little more about themselves. This brings the two sides closer together and deepens their understanding of each other.
Two, when you can’t think of a topic, try these tried-and-true topics
If you’re on a restaurant date, then take it on the spot, comment on the dish you’re eating, talk about places you’ve eaten before, which ones are good and which ones are recommended. If you’re also someone who has studied cooking a bit, talk about what you’ve learned about cooking.
Talk about recent hit movies and TV shows, which character you like, or spill the beans about the plot. If the other person has also watched that drama, the conversation box will not be easily opened? You might even find out that you have such similar preferences.
Also, talk about travel. The topic of travel is a more brilliant choice than movies. One, because the topic of travel allows both parties to have an open discussion about their past travel experiences and future travel plans. The second is that there is a difference between men’s and women’s preferences for movies, girls like romance and guys like sci-fi, so if the difference in preferences is too great, there’s nothing to talk about.
Three, these behaviors and topics should be avoided in conversation:
1. Avoid bias, such as rich-poor bias, geographic bias, gender bias, political-historical bias.
2. Negate the other person and interpret what they say like an encyclopedia.
3. Negative tone of voice. Psychologists believe that people who speak negatively are more likely to give a negative impression than people who speak positively.
4. Negative comments about someone or something. Don’t make it seem like you’re being picky.
5. Banter, deny, question the other person’s intellectual background, and don’t know how to be humble.
6. Any conversation about an ex’s boyfriend or girlfriend.
7. The privacy of yourself and others. Your own privacy is like how you choose your underwear, and other people’s privacy is like gossiping about other people’s love history, etc.
8. Topics that are usually only of interest to girls or guys. For example, the girls’ favorite horoscope and blood type, the details of clothing matching, beauty and makeup, hair dressing, soap opera male idols, the boys’ favorite athletic sports, action movies, pure science knowledge and so on. Usually these topics are only of interest and knowledge to both parties to ensure that the chat can go on.
9. Sexuality topics. Unless this is the purpose of your date, this is definitely a minefield not to be touched so that the other person doesn’t get the wrong idea.