Marriage is full of all kinds of joy and sorrow, from walking into a church and saying “I do” to breaking up the marriage is just one step away, many people said before marriage that we will grow old together and live together for a long time. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do.
1.Marriage Problems – Communication Problems
Almost all marriage problems stem from an inability to communicate.
The solution: Make time. Go on a real date with your partner. If you live together, then wait until the kids are asleep, put your phone on vibrate, let the phone message machine answer the call, and have a long talk with him or her. If you can’t communicate softly with your partner, choose a quiet public place like a library, park, or restaurant because you’ll be embarrassed if you talk loudly in those places. Set some rules.
For example, don’t interrupt each other at work and ban things like, “You’re always …… you never… …” or something like that. A big part of communication is listening, so when communicating with your partner, don’t scribble, look at your watch, or pick your nails; make it seem like you’re listening intently.
2. Marital problems-sexual problems
Even very Sexual disharmony can happen even with very loving partners because people are lacking sex education and sexual self-awareness.
The solution: plan and plan again. The date, which doesn’t have to be at night, can be chosen on a Saturday at noon when the kids are napping, or for quick sex before work, or for a change of sex venues, such as the kitchen or by the fireplace can add to the fun of sex. Talk to your partner to see what will really turn him or her on, and then do it accordingly.
3. Marital problems-money problems
Many marital problems arise before the marriage vows, like money, from the time you start planning the cost of your wedding.
Solution: Be honest with your partner about your current financial situation. Don’t broach the subject of money when you fight, and take time to discuss money issues calmly. Acknowledge that one person on both sides must be the frugal type and the other the wasteful type, and that it’s good for both partners to complement each other. Don’t hide debts and salaries. Make financial files, including recent credit card bills, stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, etc., explicit. Don’t blame each other. Set up a joint account that includes savings. Determine which party pays the monthly bills. Allow each other the right to handle their own money independently. Make short and long term plans. You can have a personal plan but you should also have a family plan. Make a financial plan for your parents’ retirement.
4. Marital Issues – Chores Distribution
Today many couples are working outside the home, so it’s important to arrange chores fairly.
Solution: Organize chores in an orderly fashion and be clear about what you are responsible for at home. Distribute chores fairly. Discuss solutions together. If neither of you enjoy doing chores, consider hiring someone to do them. If one partner likes to do chores, the other can do the laundry and garden stuff.
5. Marriage problems-not taking marriage to heart
If you want your marriage to continue, make it the focus at all times, not just when you answer “I do.
Solution: Do something that you did on your first date. Such as a gesture of appreciation, complimenting each other, connecting with each other throughout the day, showing your interest in him/her. Plan a romantic date for the evening. Treat each other with respect.
6. Marital problems – conflict, arguments
Occasional conflict is unavoidable, but too much conflict and bickering needs to be addressed. It’s best if both parties work things out in a peaceful way.
Solution: You are not the victim, and it is your choice whether and how you fight back. Be honest with yourself! When you are fighting, are your words trying to solve the problem or are you just trying to hit back at the other person? If your words are blaming and hurtful, it’s best to take a deep breath and change your strategy.
If you’re still reacting in a way that upsets and hurts you, why not change it up a bit? Give a little and gain a lot. If you’re wrong, apologize, it’s hard, but you’ll receive unexpected surprises.
7. Marriage problems-trust issues
Trust is important in a marriage relationship. Is there any particular behavior of the other person that makes you distrust them? Is there a hidden crisis of trust that you are having?
Solutions: be consistent and on time; do what you said you would do; don’t lie to your partner and others, even if it’s a good lie; be fair, even when you’re fighting; and value other people’s feelings. Don’t ignore your partner’s feelings even if you don’t agree with him/her; call when you said you would; call to tell your partner you’ll be home late; carry your fair share of the workload; don’t overreact when something isn’t right; never say things you can’t take back; don’t reveal scars; respect your partner’s privacy; don’t be jealous; and be a good listener.
A long-lasting marriage is one where the two of you work out the details of your life in a subtle way, where you are tolerant, where you look out for each other, and where running a marriage is actually quite simple, depending on whether you will do it.