Love is a mandatory lesson in everyone’s life. How can you find the right person and not flounder in love? Check out the 3 happiness classes shared by love experts below to help you break your love blind spots and find the right way to fall in love!
From ancient times to the present, countless people have praised love. The world without love, Goethe said, would be like a walking lamp without light; Hemingway described loving someone as feeling like the ground was moving; Tagore believed that love is a full life, like a wine glass full of wine.
Thus, Napoleon wrote on his love letter to Josephine in a frenzy of love, “To hold you close in my arms and kiss you a billion times, as fiercely as above the equator. Hugo to Lord Liliette, uttered from the heart, “To think of you in sorrow is like thinking of the sun in winter, and to think of you in joy is like thinking of the shade of a tree in the blazing sun.
But, in reality, love is often a dilemma.
Maybe, it is the dilemma of choice. The first thing you need to do is to choose the white rose of the moonlight in front of your bed, or the red rose of the vermilion mole on your heart. The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not in love with you and are worried that you will never come back. Perhaps, it is the dilemma of specific gravity. Who to love more, who to love less, or who to love more, who to love less? It’s not simply a matter of all love or none at all in between.
Maybe, it is the dilemma of torment. As Hu Shih lamented, also want not to think of each other, can be free from the pain of thinking of each other, several times to think carefully, would like to think of each other suffering. In love, joy and pain alternate, hot and cold abnormal love is like a camel carrying the pain of left and right unbalanced load, no wonder Shakespeare said, there is no more pain under the sky than the chastisement of love, and there is no more joy than serving it.
In the face of love, you can be like Xu Zhimo, with an open-minded attitude of “I am fortunate to have it, but not to have it, that’s all”.
Love is a life lesson, a lesson that requires deep study. Dante said that love sublimates the longing of the heart to the highest good, so all people should learn to love people and learn to understand love, because to be a happy person, this truth is like to learn to respect themselves, we must first learn the human virtues. The following expert summary of three love lessons, from the introductory “love roles to understand”, the beginning “love attitudes to have”, to the advanced “the differences between men and women to penetrate”, so that you can be used for a lifetime.
Introductory lesson on understanding your role in love
For every love, we should ask ourselves
With every love, we should ask ourselves: what role do I want to play? Is love important? How much weight does it have in my life? How much am I willing to adjust for love? How do I keep the balance on the scale of self and love?
Everyone has a different view of love. Some people think it’s important, some people think it’s okay, and some people may fall in love when they have the opportunity, and when they don’t, they go do something else. Love is a very important thing in life because it is closely related to imagination, creativity, and sense of self. In love, you will feel the best state of life, the lover is the most creative person, and sometimes even create miracles. But, paradoxically, will you make major life adjustments or sacrifice your dreams because of love? It seems not, and this is the paradoxical problem of modern love. If we really don’t think love is important, that’s fine. The problem is, we think love is important, but if we have to make drastic adjustments, fits or sacrifices in our lives for love, many of us have to think about it again, or maybe just say forget it, like I did.
Love is like watching a movie, listening to music, sipping coffee or wine, if you get a taste of it and have fun in it, the deeper you go. Those who say that love is not important are often because their love is boring. People are very difficult to tolerate boredom, so in addition to plain water, we will also drink coffee, tea, juice, soft drinks 。。。。。。 , love can be the most important thing in life, because other things are easily replaced. The most important thing in life is to make a thousand dollars today or tomorrow, not much difference, but love is not, if you miss it today with this person, life may be very different, there is a mysterious chance here, not hard work or to do a certain degree, you will definitely get, but also because of the mystery, there is uncertainty, more likely to make people confused, the other way around, the joy of getting is great.
You might adjust for love and include life, but that’s not called sacrifice. The wonderful thing about love is that when you like the person, it’s more fun to give than to get. Let’s say a woman is willing to let a man treat her to a movie, even though the man is paying for it, he is still happy. When does love become a problem? When one day you start asking the other person, “Why do I pay every time? Love disappears, that is, when the “I” runs out, and it’s bad.
If Shakyamuni hadn’t fallen in love so many times when he was young, he wouldn’t have become enlightened so easily, and most of the monks who have attained enlightenment were halfway there, and most of the monks who have become monks since childhood are great followers or interpreters, not creators, like Xuanzang who was a great traveler and translator. The monk is a great traveler and translator.
The joy of love is based on “loving” and “being loved,” and the joy is greatest when you love, and sometimes the joy of being loved is not so great.
Being loved depends on the way the other person loves you. It’s troublesome for him to love you and then demand that you give reciprocally. The backlash can be terrible if you only enjoy what others give and the other person doesn’t get a reciprocal response. It is dangerous for the enjoyer to think he is in power, and this is the reason why tyrants are easily assassinated. The power relationship of love is like walking, you have to maintain balance in order to walk.
It’s like what Lao Tzu said about “being favored.” The favored person is under the favored person, who can favor you or not at any time. The most tragic love is when someone who has loved you for years decides not to love you anymore, and you suddenly realize that you actually love him, but it’s too late. The best opportunity is to be in your 30s, when you are already working and can be truly independent if you want to leave your family of origin.
Emotionally, you can identify yourself as straight, bisexual, or gay; you can also have a pretty good idea of how much marriage will affect you and want to choose to stay single or have your own family.
In terms of work, you can determine whether you’re working for work, working for fun, or working to construct a different life. If one reaches 30 and there are so many more love affairs that often say there is no way out, they should all be reviewed.
In modern society, women are under more pressure than men. If a man is successful in his career when there is no love, he will still be appreciated by the outside world, but if a woman is successful again, she will be said to be unwanted if she does not have a date, which is very unfair. The company’s main goal is to provide a more comprehensive and efficient solution to the problem.
Emotional maven: I’m a senior single woman myself, and after I turned 40, all the pressure that was put on me suddenly disappeared. Although, it’s nice to be in love, but I found that the state of a person is not as bad as I thought. I am an optimistic person who knows how to please myself and enjoy life. I am slowly adjusting between falling in love and not falling in love, returning to my heart, facing my demons, and becoming a partner that I can get along with. Of course, I can say in a high profile that I dream of living like this, but it’s not true, it’s something that came naturally along the way. During the process, I went through a self-awakening. Many of my friends got married and divorced, but eventually they had to go back to their inner self, a bit like me. I think that no matter whether you are married or not, whether you have children or not, no matter what role you play, you have to find a way to get along with yourself in the end. When you can get along with yourself comfortably, the emotional demands on another person are not as strong.
Relationship Attitude for Beginners
Wenjun Zhuo in When Sima Xiangru changed her heart, she wrote “The Song of the White Head”, in which the line “I wish I could have a man of my heart and never be separated from him” speaks of people’s desire for eternal love. But what is the essence of love? Can it be replaced? In reality, marriage cannot guarantee love, only love can guarantee love. The reason why love is complicated is that there are so many subtleties in it, and it can be mixed with calculations that have nothing to do with itself, but people often don’t see clearly when they are in love.
A good attitude in love is to be “egoless,” but egolessness is difficult. There is a long distance between the rational lover and the religious spirit of egolessness, and it is very difficult for the average person to do that.
Love is like transporting sand with bare hands, and you will find a very subtle thing. Love is the same, do not hold on tightly, give each other space, there are more gaps in more fresh things, so that each other in love can breathe, grow. In fact, there is another metaphor for this, no matter how much love is peddled, it will be lost in the end, just how much or how little is lost.
Real love is like a perfect sentence. It’s a short 20-word sentence, but it’s so evocative that it feels like every word is irreplaceable. The greatest charm of love is also here, a good love is as transient as a sentence, each scene, each vow can not be replaced, are so precious. When it comes to living together, it’s not just pure love anymore, there are many other factors mixed in between. If we already know that love is like transporting sand with bare hands and like an absolute sentence, how can we not be ecstatic when we are in love? When we are in love, you will realize that this thing is so short, fragile, and available, and will give all your body and soul to love even more.
We hope that love is eternal because of the poetry of the ancients, that it will never leave us, that it will never give up, that it will never leave us, that it will never leave us, that it will never leave us, that it will never leave us, that it will never leave us, that it will never leave us. It is important to know that love is bound to change, either for the worse or for the better.
We often confuse marriage with love, and marriage can stay the same, maybe there is no love between two people anymore, and marriage can still last a lifetime because there is a contract. However, when we use the requirements of marriage to treat love, it will be very painful, and you will be angry when the other party has changes. In fact, we should see love as a rose, understand that it is subject to change, and face changes openly, and also because it will change and is unpredictable, do not calculate, and talk about love to be comfortable, otherwise it will be like what Manjuan said, holding sand all the time, and seeing sand leak all the time, it will be very frightening. People often use the metaphor of “picking up a stone” to choose a date, but the bigger the stone, the better, because the size of each hand is different. If your hands are small, a big stone is very heavy for you, so is it meaningful to hold it? A small stone in your hand is happy instead. To fall in love is to pursue a person who can inspire positive energy. You can observe that around us are often friends and family who are helping you calculate the size of a stone, too small, too small to match, and as a result many people get a big stone and carry it painfully, or sting their hands because it is too sharp.
I often hear people say, “I’m already going to marry you, what more do you want? I’m going to marry you, how can I not love you? The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do.
In fact, you don’t even need to be like everyone else, you are already different from everyone else. It’s hard to be happy if your feelings are calculated, and it’s only when you don’t have the pressure to calculate that you can be comfortable and not give others pain.
As long as you don’t calculate, things are better. It’s not easy to compromise with something other than love just to calculate, and you don’t complain that it’s wasted because it didn’t work out. Many people say, “I wasted my youth on him, how can I just let it go? There is no such thing as wasting? Your love is not gone, much less taken away by another
person. When the other person doesn’t love you anymore, you can stop pouring love into him, and you can have more love to love someone else.
A girl who fell in love and couldn’t trust the other person, who wanted to know exactly everything, who wanted to find evidence, who did a lot of things she used to think were dismissive and unbelievable, asked if she should change the man. The expert’s answer was: “I don’t think you should change, you should face your own demons, obviously you are an insecure person, this is the most vulnerable part of you. So love is also like test paper that will test out the weakest part of yourself, find your blind spot in it, adjust it slowly, and you can metamorphose into something more complete.
Advanced lesson on the differences between men and women
How can’t you guess his
What is the meaning of the word “heart”? How can you not understand her words? The reason for this is that men and women are very different, women fall in love with their ears, but men use their eyes. The real love is not the sweet words in the moonlight, it is not the honeyed words in the peach blossom, but is based on a common language.
The only way to break through the blind spots and myths of love is for men and women to understand each other’s differences and learn to evolve, for women to be more effective and for men to learn to please others.
Men and women have different brain structures. Women are collecting type, shopping is not necessarily to buy anything, may just look, therefore, men encounter love problems, will want to use technology to solve. For example, if his girlfriend is unhappy now, he will ask, “What is unhappy? If the girlfriend answers because of work, the man will start offering a bunch of advice, but the woman is not looking for a solution at all, but just wants to express her emotions, and thus is unhappy, and the man is frustrated and feels that after talking for half a day, the other party not only does not know how to appreciate it, but also thinks he does not love her.
Men and women need to understand each other’s thoughts because it’s impossible for a guy to become a girl and a girl to become a guy, and it’s better when you can understand each other’s thoughts. Men’s love is usually expressed in practical actions, such as paying, solving problems, pulling the car door, helping to do things, and similarly, the response they want is also a practical action. The woman, on the other hand, is more emotional and complex. Many women think that the actual response of the man will only treat her as a tool, but in fact, it is not. The man treats you as a tool, it does not mean that he does not love you, he loves his Ferrari, probably more than his own body, the Ferrari was scratched, the heart will be very painful, their own body hurt, but it is not relevant.
One writer described a woman’s love as lingering. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you’re doing. Love is not the most moving habit, but as if it were. Sometimes you feel that the other belongs to you, and sometimes you feel like an independent individual, maybe two people have gone to different places, each bringing new experiences, and then rendezvous, will produce a greater spark, as if to fall in love again with a little familiar, and a little strange people, this kind of feelings will usually last, but men will be willing to do so, women can not help, because women are too entangled, women will worry when the other party is not in sight, how to know Does he still love me? This question has existed since the beginning of time.
Be reminded that both men and women have to learn. Men have to learn to evolve and not use the excuse that “male mammals spread their genes everywhere and that monogamous, long-lasting love is an erasure of men’s nature. Women, too, can learn to be more complete by learning to be more effective. In the past, we wouldn’t use handsome to describe women, but now handsome women are also very moving, and both men and women have to evolve to be more complete, which is the space Manjuan is talking about.
It’s a lot like pearl milk tea, where the vermicelli belongs to the East and the milk tea comes from the West, and the two come together to create a wonderful taste, and at the same time, the vermicelli can stand on its own, and if one day the vermicelli is separated from the milk tea, it can also be paired with douhua and pink kueh, and the milk tea can find chocolate, so Once you think about it, things are easy, and you just have to be independent.
Many women nowadays are used to looking down on themselves. Many women, both when they are in love and after the love is over, feel bad about themselves, which is a very big myth for women.
The phrase “to begin with, to end with” is an interesting one. If at first, he does not mess with you, the woman will be very angry thinking, “What is it, am I not beautiful? How come he doesn’t mess around with me? But then when you break up, you say the other person is messy, and there is a kind of self-loathing in that statement that implies you are an unworthy person who is thrown away after being messed up, and I think there is a lot of room for women to wake up.
Breakups are traumatic for both people no matter who brings them up, but women will always be especially hurt and overwhelmed, going back to what was mentioned earlier, whether they are loved or lovers should be happy, so why after losing, should they see themselves as worthless and then loathe themselves and feel so bad about themselves So bad? The woman in love does not lose, the two have sex, live together, even if married and then break up, there is no loss, women in love gain, no matter good, bad, always more than men, because women are more evolved, will continue to think, get a lot of lessons, inspiration and self-awareness, grow a lot more than men, in love, women are definitely a winner, not a loser.
The most frightened person at the end of the 20th century would have been the ex-husband of Harry Potter author JK Rowling, who couldn’t have imagined that the woman he had abandoned would write an amazing book. If you’re unhappy in love, you’ll be miserable. If you’re unhappy at work, you won’t be miserable because you have time off work. Love isn’t, you get tangled up with it. I don’t lose sleep because I’m stressed out at work, or making bad decisions, but relationship problems, they can make me angry as hell and mess with my ability to sleep, and because it’s so fascinating, it’s what makes people so tied up.
The problem with modern men is that they read too little, most of the books they read are only work-related, and because of that, it’s hard to appreciate love, which is serious. The greatest subject of human literature, drama, film or poetry is love. If you do not enter, you will not know the diverse faces of love and will only be like going to and from work on time, repeating the beat. In addition, men also have a myth that love is a responsibility, just do it, but in fact it is not, because it will change and grow, so you need to read more to have a new experience. The trouble is that there are many men who are totally blind, and some still don’t know they are blind. Copper won’t know it is copper unless it turns into gold, and wood won’t know it can play music unless it turns into a lute.
Most men are like trees, the difference is in the size of the tree, the bigger the tree the more luxuriant it is, but there is not much change, women are like flowers, they bloom and fall with the seasons, there is much change, but can trees bloom? If the tree can bloom it is very touching, like the cherry tree, the expert advice to men is to read more and not to exclude reading romance novels.
Families give boys a different emotional education than they give girls, not because of patriarchy, but because girls, even if they are favored, are trained from an early age to give and please others, and boys most of the time sit back and enjoy it.
Pleasing others is not an easy task, it’s an art. First you have to learn to be considerate and know the needs of others in order to please them. The first thing that Taiwan guys lack is the training of being considerate and pleasing to others, and they are used to sitting on their laurels, especially if they love a girl very much, and they feel that sitting on their laurels is a matter of course, because he will feel that I have been so good to you and have given so much to you, and it is only right that you should repay me.
Although this is true of Eastern society as a whole, it can still be taught individually. The first thing that I want to do is to make sure that I have a good idea of what I want to do.
Why are Italian men attractive? Because they are used to serving women since childhood. They praise women, not directly saying they are beautiful, but describing each other as if they were spring flowers, as bright as freshly picked strawberries. They believe that it is only natural for men to cook, even if they are waiters, they are happy and feel it is honorable to make guests feel at home with their own profession. Eastern culture has no training in pleasing others, but men cannot be used as excuses, they have to know how to learn and evolve.