A person who is in love with another person will always unconsciously please the other person and want them to be happy. After the other person is happy, also want to get the other person back, sometimes a smile, sometimes a small gift. Mutually, this is love. If a man and you together, usually get along less intimate, he is not anxious, dear, have you thought about a possibility? You could be his backup.
Some women don’t know they’re being treated like a spare tire until they’re with him, and that’s the case with A. A was introduced to Chen by someone else, and both sides thought it was okay, so they got together.
She worked hard on her relationship, and the other person always seemed indifferent, and she couldn’t help but feel frustrated. Sometimes she wonders if she is in love, but the man across the street is real, isn’t he?
She also wonders if Xiao Chen doesn’t like her anymore? But when we were together at first, he didn’t show any difference. A is confused. This question has been bothering her for a long time, and she wants an answer that will lead to a conclusion about this relationship. It was so cloudy that she felt hurt and didn’t know why the wound came.
What is a backup? It’s when a man already has someone he loves and is still with you. In some ways, it’s having two feet in one boat.
But that can only be said from a certain point of view, why? Because maybe he wasn’t with the one he loved. It’s just that his heart is already occupied by someone, and it may take you a long time to get in, or more likely, you’ll never get in and will always have to hover just outside the door of his heart.
Some men treat you like a spare tire, an unconscious act. In other words, he is not subjectively intentional. Before he started with you or when he was together, he did not actively and consciously treat you as a backup. This happens mostly to men who have been hurt very badly in their relationships and want to start over but have failed to get out of a previous relationship completely.
The woman who hurt him before is still a wound in his heart that is superficially healed but not actually touched. He wanted to start over and wave away the shadow of the past, but couldn’t do it. He started with you to start a positive relationship, but, in the time he spent with you, he couldn’t respond to your feelings, and he was still waiting for the woman who had hurt him between unconsciousness.
Maybe you’ll say that it’s out of his control. Maybe you’ll say that you’re unknowingly seeing that you’re investing too much in him. Maybe you’re attracted to this melancholy type of man. Either way, women, we want to remind you of a harsh reality: his heart is already occupied by another woman, so how do you walk in?
Maybe that woman won’t come back, but he’s still in love. How are you going to push her out and let yourself in? Maybe habit will become natural and then turn into love, but you’ve been together for so long that to become habitual, you’ve been used to it for a long time, and you’re still looking forward to the future? Maybe he’s changed somehow, but it took you that long to get a little change, when is that damn woman going to walk out? And then what? And you have to spend time walking in?
Maybe that woman will come back. Don’t say it’s impossible. Since he loves her so much, it’s only natural to pay attention to her. Just as you love him you will pay attention to him. It is likely that at some point there will be a chance that he and she will have contact, and then, more contact. And then, what are you going to do? Human instinct drives people to stay as close to their loved ones as possible. He’s gone, what about you?
So, we don’t recommend that you are being a backup to a man and then, working hard and constantly for the man who is indifferent to your feelings. Since you cherish your feelings so much, you might as well find another man who will cherish your feelings just as much.
Leaving is painful, but the long pain is better than the short pain, and after finding a man who cherishes you, maybe you’ll look back and think how you were so foolish to act moth-to-flame style in the first place.
There is another type of man who intentionally makes you a spare tire. These people are likely to be veterans of love affairs. Feeling that you are so good to him, if you do not accept your feelings, how big a disappointment to you, so you become his spare tire. When his real lover is not with him, you can meet him. Once his lover is back, you are the sidekick. In this way, doesn’t it fit the idiom – call it in and wave it away.
Generally speaking, such behavior is easy to detect. The question is, do you have the courage to leave. It is hard to fight with your own heart, your heart loves him and needs to be by his side, but you are inclined to leave. But this kind of love is entrusted to the wrong person to begin with, so swing your sword and suspend your love.
The last type of man is the single aristocratic type. In other words, he does not intend to share a relationship with any woman. All he needs is a girlfriend. You can say that he has a heavy heart, but you can also say that he has no sense of responsibility. This kind of man can not say that you as a spare tire, correctly, he set a model for his side of the woman, any suitable for this model of women can be at his side. It does not necessarily have to be you. And he won’t do anything more for you.
This kind of man would theoretically keep many women away from him, right? However, in reality, this kind of man is often the kind of diamond king. When you’re around him, will you feel like you’re also radiant? In fact, excluding his non-response to your feelings, the rest is okay. But as time passes, you will regret it.
A woman always wants a place to go. But this simple wish he can’t satisfy you. You think you are his last woman, but do not know that he just want you to be one of them. The reality is that there is already an example: Aaron Kwok and Xiong Dai Lin. Doesn’t that sober you up?
For a man who doesn’t love you, time is not going to wait for the love you want either. What you need to do is to find your love instead of waiting. Not to seek it in a man who doesn’t love you, but to seek it in a man who knows how to cherish you.
If none of this stops you from continuing to fight this uphill battle for the man next to you, then go for it. Emotions are very subjective things, and if you are sure that not doing this, not going to work on this one, you will regret it later. Then, go ahead and do it. Never mind what others say.