When men and women get married, there is nothing wrong with having a normal sex life, but a sexless marriage is not excluded, and when this happens, we need to spend more time on marriage maintenance in order to save this sexless marriage phenomenon. So what are the specific practices on how to save a sexless marriage?
How to save a sexless marriage?
1. Hug each other more often. The obstetrician and gynecologist suggested that it’s okay to hug and touch your significant other more often. From physical contact with no sexual desire, you will slowly develop the feeling of having sex, which is the best way to start for asexual couples. The most important thing to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you are doing.
2. Seek sexual counseling and therapy together. Mast, a contemporary master of sex therapy, once famously said, “Sex is for two people, and if one is bad, the other won’t be happy.” Therefore, sex between couples that cannot be resolved after mutual discussion is best treated by seeking help together. For example, if a man has erectile dysfunction, he actually needs his significant other to be around to stir up the libido and ignite the fire of desire. A woman’s low libido or fear of pain also needs to be fully understood by the gentleman and defused with love and patience.
3. Relax, and relax again. Break the taboos or stereotypes in your head about sex and don’t think that sex is dirty, shameful, or bad. Take your time before you enjoy the act of sex. Relax physically as well. Women should not be afraid to masturbate, through which they can explore sensitive areas very well; nor should they be afraid to perform oral sex or do different caresses for their significant other. Let yourself go and learn some new sexual techniques so that both partners can have a sexual breakthrough and enjoy something different.
4. Teach your significant other how to come and love you. Marriage therapist Junn Dai often teaches students in marriage counseling sessions to physically do it themselves, “Teach your significant other how to love you, don’t think the other person should have to know it all, tell the other person what you like and what you don’t like.” For example, where your erogenous zones are, where kissing and caressing will make you comfortable and excited, and how it will make you uncomfortable or sore. When communicating, while it is important to be direct and honest, it is also important to be gentle and courteous, and to consider whether the statement will hurt the other person. For example, women should not criticize men: “Why do you use so much force, why are your hands so thick and stupid?” Such words will make men flinch in frustration. Instead, say in a positive tone, “Your lighter hands make me comfortable, and I like that.” Male to female and vice versa.
5. Set aside date time and deliberately make time for two. It’s important to schedule time to go on dates with your significant other, just like you do at work, rather than letting your sex life be sacrificed forever. For example, a certain time of the weekend, or a certain evening during the week, is the time for two people to date and have sex, do not let other things take over. The heart beauty treatment center psychiatrist Yang Ganxiong stressed that sex is not just a physical thing, but an art, a game for two people, if not business, of course, will not have good results. 6, seeking change, often create a fresh feeling. Male sexuality is very physical, very direct sensory stimulation, like different feelings, different times and places, there are different changes and patterns. This is very different from women who like romantic, stable emotional relationships. Therefore, it is best for both parties to understand and adjust to the other half. For example, an occasional trip to a motel or redoing the bedroom can be very exciting and refreshing for men. For women, men should be attentive to foreplay, to let the wife in the usual feel their love and care. The woman’s heart is in the right place.
7. Exercise often with your significant other. Scientific studies have found that the brain is the arousal zone of sensuality, and exercise can make the brain aurora. Go with your significant other to exercise, a gentle walk and swimming can. Talk while you exercise to nurture your relationship. Engaging in sex actually requires physical strength, and having good exercise habits will also make you stronger and interested in wanting to do it. But women should never be too concerned about their bodies. Studies have found that 78% of women are so unhappy with their body shape that they can’t enjoy sex properly.
8. Put the problem in the open. Wen Rongguang, a senior psychiatrist and president of Kaohsiung Ci-Hui Hospital, suggests that couples must be open and honest about their problems in order to have further communication. He pointed out that studies have found that as many as 1/3 of women have never had an orgasm and 1/3 of men have problems with premature ejaculation and impotence, but are afraid to tell each other. It is recommended that couples watch heartwarming sex movies together, find topics from them that they can discuss with each other, talk about how they feel, and then talk about the problems they are experiencing.