Have you ever tried a situation like this? You’re excited to go see the sunrise and your other half says coldly, “What’s so great about it? The day is not yet dawn sleepy eyes stay in the middle of nowhere, is to find the sin? Will you listen to it like a pot of cold water was thrown? The first thing you need to do is to take a look at the website.
Yes, this repeated throwing of cold water on your significant other is what we call the chronic killer of love. This method of killing love is not easily noticeable by the person concerned, and he may still be clueless until his significant other proposes a breakup.
Yes, watching the sunrise on the mountain is very tasty for some people and boring for others. Maybe you and your significant other are exactly the people who think both, but we also have to look at the occasion, consider each other’s mood, and the love and tolerance for each other when we express our views. Since that’s your lover, what’s wrong with going along with her for once and fulfilling this small request? It’s not like she asked to go in the middle of the night on a weekday.
Some people will counter that I went with her later, too, only I did, so I said so, which shows that I’m a straight-talking person. Is that really true? How much of such a statement is to justify one’s own weakness of heart? Is talking straight really like that?
Straightforward describes someone who is very straightforward and does things in a straightforward way. The opposite is cryptic, euphemistic, and oily. This is to say that someone speaks without beating around the bush, this person speaks and deals with things very crisply. This kind of character is easy to offend people, but it is also the expression of a heart without a city. The most important thing is that you can be a good person.
Splashing cold water is a metaphor for defeating someone’s excitement and dampening their enthusiasm. When talking to others, people are talking with great enthusiasm, once you open your mouth is like pouring cold water in boiling water, the temperature immediately dropped. Doing so, not only will make the original enthusiasm and harmony of the situation becomes stiff, but also let open the mouth of the person in an awkward position. Over time, people speak cautiously in front of you, and even grow distant and unwilling to communicate with you.
There is another kind of person who can’t speak, who simply doesn’t know how to express themselves appropriately and doesn’t know when they’ve said the wrong thing and expressed the wrong feelings.
In fact, it is a kind of throwing cold water on each other. The better you know each other, the more likely you are to throw cold water at each other. Sometimes we call couples who fight with each other happy people, but there is always a scene where they are so mindful of each other’s position in the other’s mind that this kind of fighting is likely to make the other person receive hurt.
There are two ways that people naturally use to deal with cold water being thrown back, or to keep quiet and guard themselves from telling this person what they are happy or pleased about. Both alienate both parties.
One senior executive in a construction company said that the one thing he could not tolerate was when his wife intentionally or unintentionally threw cold water on him. When he called his wife to say that he couldn’t be home for dinner tonight because his colleagues had decided to celebrate
his 40th birthday, his wife, who had been in his college class, immediately snickered and said, “Wow, you What are you capable of, why should people help you celebrate your birthday?” One comment turned his enthusiasm into ice, thinking, “If I had known you were so mean, I wouldn’t have told you next time I didn’t come home for dinner.”” In fact, what his wife said didn’t mean she despised him, just simply wasn’t very good at talking.
People who are accused of “not being able to talk” rarely see that as a shortcoming, but instead gloat that they are “straight. “
They are not only a good person, but also a good person.
I once saw a middle-aged couple shopping in a department store, and the wife had just picked up a dress from the bargain bin. Mr. immediately fire-eyed loud rebuke: “Ugly, put it back!” The lady was shocked and immediately retracted her hand, looked at the person who picked up the same clothes as her with embarrassed eyes, and then lowered her head and disappeared. The people next to her looked at the lady with sympathy while being upset that their own aesthetic tastes had been compromised.
Criticizing a person’s clothing items in public with impunity poses no different harm than calling them an idiot to their face. The same is true of parent-child relationships.
A friend tells the story of how her relationship with her mother was distant since she was a child, and the reason she grew up to respect each other like “ice” at best was her mother’s expertise in throwing cold water. The first question her mother asked when she came in second place was: “How many more points did you get in first place?” When she got the first place, she thought she would be appreciated, but her mother said, “It’s not a big deal to have good grades, but a girl’s character is most important.” When her mother bought what she thought was a beautiful birthday present for her birthday, she thought it was a waste of money ……
People are herd animals, which dictates that we all want to be recognized and affirmed by the people around us when we speak and do things. The surrounding crowd’s recognition and affirmation. The act of breaking up and repeatedly throwing water in your face is a straightforward rebuke of a person’s ideas, speech, and behavior, and considers the person to be very rude and uninformed. In fact, this behavior of yours does make the people around him feel that he does. This kind of comment, which is so opposite to his desire for recognition and affirmation, is sure to make the other person hurt and inferior.
In fact, throwing cold water can be deadly and insidiously damaging to both sides of the relationship. Whether you are holding yourself cool and can’t talk, you may have inadvertently stepped into the misconception of splashing cold water. To solve it is also very simple, pay attention to observe each other’s reaction, do not let each other feel embarrassed or hurt. If you really care about each other, love each other, this point is easy to detect. Remember not to take this lightly.
If you want to avoid this it’s not hard, one is to avoid expressing disapproval of the other person in public and in front of people. The reason is simple, behind closed doors everything is fine, in front of people, it is a kind of face dropping thing. It has nothing to do with being right or wrong. If it turns out that you are wrong, the damage is irreparable. But why put yourself in this situation? It’s not like it’s a big deal. Second, do not oppose each other frequently, proper encouragement and support is a human necessity. This is something that I’m sure everyone feels quite a bit when it comes to getting along with their parents, and in fact, it’s the same thing when it comes to switching lovers.
As chronic killers of love, we should be thankful that the act of throwing cold water is manageable and the initiative is in our own hands. So, it’s not a bad thing to speak to your significant other with appropriate tact and submissiveness oh. Straightforwardness is not appropriate at this time.