Whenever the warmth of your palm comes, you always feel inexplicably at peace. But is there a moment when you suddenly panic thinking about those days when you can’t hold hands in the future? Those long-distance days firmly tell us that one day we will get used to it. No reason, just because we said we understand after talking about long-distance relationships, we already believe that even without each other, we can still go on.
There’s a story like this.
“Don’t you think it’s unreal to love like this? When he said this with slight excitement, she was indeed a bit overwhelmed at the moment, but that was indeed the reaction he should have had, and it was not at all surprising.
He was talking about her sister in Australia who had recently been talking to her boyfriend about breaking up. Her sister met a Korean boy while on a working vacation in Canada a year and a half ago, and after a year of dating, they continued to love each other by applying for a working vacation visa to Australia together after their work visas ended. But then they both had to face the prospect of returning to their respective countries for work.
“I don’t think long-distance relationships work.” So reads the manifestation message passed to her by her sister this morning. He believes that every relationship should be predicated on forever as a future together. Relationships like this one, which start out destined to face insurmountable obstacles in the future, are simply a waste of time.
I wonder if it’s because the meat is so tough that he cuts the steak with what seems to her like extra force. “They were discussing this very rationally, don’t you think, and they knew very well what they were doing from the beginning?” She simply did not appreciate his attitude of always waiting and holding his feet up to love, rather than being a love idealist, he was a bit of a clean freak. It would be better to be practical and “enjoy the moment and be brave in your courtship.”
At least her sister, who is thousands of miles away, has for a while had a man who loves her very much, a wonderful love, and a partner who can take care of each other. At least she is happy now. About that, he had nothing to say.
Does long-distance work? That’s a question many couples want answered. The success rate of long-distance relationship is not high, because the personal qualities of each other and the depth of feeling between the two are very demanding, and if you are not careful, you may encounter cheating. This is a relationship killer that is bound to die. If you are facing a long-distance relationship, consider the following worst factors:
First, in terms of the process of love development, long-distance inherently has the property of destroying love. The long distance represents the distance that under normal conditions you cannot see each other or have to make great sacrifices to see each other. Long distance is divided into three and four dimensions, namely space and time. The love triangle theory, proposed by social psychologist Robert J. Sternberg, argues that love consists of three basic elements: passion, intimacy and commitment. Love requires a high degree of intimacy. In the inevitable process of love development, trust and understanding are the cornerstones, and communication and security are the ties that hold it together. These are what are lacking in long-distance relationships, because of the distance, different circles of living together, plus the temptation of men and women around, who can guarantee that they will never change their minds? There may be, but definitely not most. The farther the distance, the more control there is; the harder it is to communicate, the easier it is to lose intimacy. Physical distance is an important factor that directly affects psychological distance.
Second, in terms of communication between the two parties, even if they are far away from each other, love needs to be maintained by communicating in a certain way, however, misdirected text messages and missed calls at a distance often lead to unnecessary misunderstandings. Its damage to love can not be measured, resulting in the distance of space affects the distance of the heart. In addition, what is blocking our distance? The conditions that produce love: real time together real mutual understanding.
The existence of distance is sometimes not only objective, but also subjective-sometimes we need a distance to cover our imperfections, but when you romance out your feelings, you want reality, but the change from virtual to reality, from far to near The change is not so easy to adapt to, after all, life is real. And for each other, who can guarantee that they will tolerate everything you do, after all, there is no honesty before, and then long-distance love becomes a direct grave of love.
Thirdly, from the perspective of personal development, long-distance relationships are not conducive to personal development. From the material level,,, the two are far apart, in order to meet each other, often a lot of fees, travel expenses phone bills are also a considerable expense, and the exhaustion brought about by running on the road will also make people burned out, and constantly wear down the passion and pleasure brought about by love. In terms of spirituality, the biggest cost of a long-distance relationship is the spiritual cost.
More than anything else, long-distance relationships are torturous, and if a long-distance relationship develops into a marriage, one of the partners will be far away from home and will have to give up their job, and if they can’t coordinate with their parents, it will lead to family conflicts and a dilemma between affection and love. Once the relationship breaks down, what chance is there to make amends, and how can the inner wounds be repaired?
But is a long-distance relationship certain to die? Not necessarily. There are many people who know better how to cherish each other when they are separated from their partners. So, when they have the opportunity to get back together, they will rekindle the heat and even love each other more deeply than when they first started loving each other. The distance of time and space brought about by the long distance, but become an important factor to promote the growth of mutual feelings. Examples of this happen in reality, too.
So what do we do when faced with a long-distance relationship? Directly reject or gladly accept? Specific events are analyzed specifically. For example, the other party is long distance, need you to follow the past. Then we have to torture ourselves whether we have the courage and determination, not ready to live in a long distance, long-distance relationship for a period of time is also a good choice. If it is only for reasons such as a job transfer, it is only a temporary separation and acceptance is an easy thing to do.
Simply put, considering the worst possible outcome and your own tolerance, communicate the bottom line to each other when it comes to long distance relationships and let each other know what you can’t stand. If the worst happens, you have to be strong enough to face it yourself.
Enjoy loving each other and cherish each other in every way possible because we know that no one can say what will happen in the future. The person who cherishes you in front of you has to be cherished as well. I hope that each other can eventually have good results, but also be prepared to meet the worst results. That’s our advice, to handle relationship matters like a real mentally mature adult.