As you approach your thirties and still haven’t found a boyfriend, the anxious faces of your family around you, the intentional inquiries of your classmates and friends, and all the discussions about leftover women in society can put a lot of pressure on you. Sometimes, even a common greeting from a stranger can make you feel subdued, what to do?
What is scary is not knowing whether you should go with the flow and enter into marriage for other reasons, and not knowing whether you should insist on what you want, as if there is no room for you in the whole world. In fact, as long as you find the direction, know where you should go, these confusion, worry and stress will naturally reduce. Take a look at the classic confusion of leftover women.
I. What if I don’t want to give in to my family’s pressure to get married?
Answer: Most people of my parents’ generation have decided that marriage is the only place a woman should end up. In fact, the deepest level, they are worried about your future life security, afraid that they are a hundred years later, you are alone and helpless. The most important thing you can do now is to physically let them understand that you are trying to save money, you will buy a house and insurance, you have your own rich social partners and friends you can trust, your future is secure, and you have been actively looking for a partner, and then promise a dating frequency that you accept, such as twice a month.
If you’re really tired of your parents’ nagging, then move out – Chinese women wean themselves too late. It pays a price in rent, but you’ll enjoy living truly independently! For loved ones who really care about you, they will eventually respect your choice as long as you are having a good time.
II. What if I don’t feel anything at all when I’m dating?
Answer: Since it’s a blind date, please don’t expect love at first sight, electric love, if this person makes you particularly disgusted, how to look at it, of course, you can PASS it, but if you think his conditions are OK, just There is nothing special to feel, it is recommended that after the first meeting do not immediately give up on each other, at least give yourself and give him three chances.
I recommend 4 ways to date for your reference: 1, a simple and elegant restaurant that helps you communicate directly; 2, hiking or trekking, where you observe his sense of direction, mobility, patience, temperament, and whether he takes your feelings into account; 3, a movie theater or a trade show, where you can observe your cultural differences. exhibition, you can observe whether your cultural interests are similar; 4, let him choose the location and see how he behaves in the environment he finds most comfortable. After a few dates in different locations, maybe he’ll move up from “chicken fingers” to “chicken wings”!
Three: Is it necessary to get married now that the divorce rate is soaring and there are so many temptations in society that marriage is especially insecure?
Answer: Refusing to try because of fear and inertia is inherently cowardly and insincere, and makes people feel inexplicably weepy. Marriage is a life experience and everyone will encounter different situations. As long as you have good intentions and make a positive effort, even if it doesn’t end well, it is a great asset to your life. There are many reasons not to get married, but this one is too stupid to be called a reason!
If you choose not to get married, it must be a carefully considered choice, and stopping yourself from getting married simply because of the high divorce rate is no less than throwing away the watermelon and picking the sesame seeds.
Fourth, should I take the initiative when I suddenly meet a man I like?
Answer: There’s nothing more direct than asking him to introduce you to a boyfriend! Doing so, you at least have the opportunity to express to him your choice of spouse conditions, of course, are similar to his. If you want to be euphemistic, you can let him advance some money in a joint consumption opportunity, and then invite him back afterwards, and return the money when you can send a small gift to show your appreciation. Asking for MSN is an important way to get closer. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
If you can’t hold it in, what if you just say it? It’s not like you’re going to lose a piece of meat! The modern woman doesn’t even have the courage to do this, so what’s the point of catching a man?
Five, it seems that successful men like young and beautiful girls, as a leftover, do I still have a chance?
Answer: In fact, men may not always be “teenage girls”, but they have a bigger choice, so to save time, they will be over 30 years old single female row. In addition. It is recommended that women over the age of 30 use two ways to find a partner for themselves. The first is selective dating. What is selective dating? Because frequent blind dates can undermine your confidence and you are always being picked on by others.
So a 30-year-old woman’s blind date should focus on quality rather than quantity, with a very responsible matchmaker in the middle to mediate for you, exchanging important information about both sides in detail beforehand, locking in men who prefer mature women and care about the quality of communication, and meeting with men who already have Fifty percent sure. The second is to focus on the attack: lock one or two target single men to participate in collective activities, such as travel, sports, hobby clubs, MBA classes, etc., long-term insistence on participation, and actively seek opportunities to generate feelings in the common activities. With a foundation of affection, men won’t care too much about your age!
Six, I can’t find a partner even though I tried my best to expand my social circle, am I asking too much?
Answer: Rather than lowering your terms, you should relax your scope, because as you become more mature and wise, you know more and more what you can tolerate and compromise appropriately in love, especially those external terms
Be aware of those most essential criteria that you are advised not to lower at any time: like whether he is trustworthy, whether he can treat others well, and whether he loves you!
Seventh, they say a marriage of a thousand miles is a match, should I wait for my destiny in silence?
Answer: Love is indeed a destiny, otherwise why would you only be attracted to this person in a sea of people? The first thing you need to do is to have a base of people, and then you can talk about the fate of “only love this person”. The single woman to do is to make their own choice of a wider range. Even if your personality is not good at actively meeting people, you should know how to put yourself in the light and let others see you, when “fate” will happen!
“Waiting for fate” is not about staying inside and mouldering, hoping for a brother to fall from the sky, but about putting yourself out there in the crowd, even if it’s by mistake, it’s a lot more likely to succeed than if no one asks. The probability of success is much higher, right?