Men and women may be united by love, but most often they are separated by emotion, and emotion is the main character in the love scene. In order to truly understand what men and women do in relationships, it is necessary to analyze them from the perspective of emotional intelligence in order to set the clouds aside and find happiness.
No. 1 I’m really good at being trusted
Psychologists have found that “competence” and “achievement” are the most important indicators by which men judge themselves due to socialization. Some women with excellent abilities want to help their significant others out of concern, sometimes overstepping their bounds. In other words, they want to be the successful woman behind the successful man. But to be a successful woman, you have to be very skillful, otherwise not only will you not be a helper for your husband’s success, but you may become the “black hand” that drives your marriage apart.
So here’s a tip: Think twice before you reach out, and if you’re really itching, go to your best friend and say, “I think he should… The first thing you need to do is to make a big deal of it before he can send a clear signal for help.
No.2 Which of his talents is better than mine is appreciated
Many Many people mistakenly believe that men have affairs mainly because they are attracted to the appearance of a third party. In fact, more cases show that “attractiveness of appearance” is only one of the reasons. Often, the real motivation for a man to leave a marriage is that his ability or talent is not recognized by his other half. From a psychological point of view, his need to have his “talent affirmed” is not met in the marriage, so his commitment to the relationship is not as complete.
So if you want to keep your marriage together, you can’t just grab his stomach (or even a little bit lower), as Mom says, but you have to find a way to tie his “heart”.
How do you tie the “heart”?
In short, it’s about meeting his emotional needs. In the case of the emotional need for “recognition of talent,” women must give him a lot of encouragement verbally and often. When your husband is doing well at work, such as a successful project for a client, and you learn about it, don’t make a big deal out of it, instead, this is a good time to make a big deal out of it: “Wow! Honey! You’re awesome, you’re really good!”
The unstinting compliment conveys your appreciation and affirmation of his abilities. And this is a lifetime job, you have to uphold a consistent enthusiasm, not hot and cold. The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you are doing.
No.3 Husband, hard work pays off
Remember when you first fell in love? Remember when you first fell in love and your guy did something that was so beautiful that it moved heaven and earth? For example, waiting at the door in the rain for a long time just to send you a bouquet of flowers and tell you he misses you; or picking you up early and dropping you off late every day, rain or shine; and taking an hour-long car ride when it gets cold, just to give you a scarf?
These gestures of affection are always flattering at first, but they usually don’t last long, and when the relationship becomes an old married couple, and the woman no longer appreciates the man’s devotion and even despises it a bit, men feel that the meaning of life is lost. All lost. So if you want to satisfy your man’s need to “try to be appreciated”, there are some small gestures that are definitely worth doing.
When your husband comes home, you might want to drop what you’re doing and walk to the door and say, “You’re home? You worked hard!”
If you find it difficult to say this directly all at once, you can also “pass on your love” by telling your child, “Daddy’s home. The first thing you can do is to ask your father if he had a hard time.”
And after he takes out the trash or washes the dishes for you, don’t forget to say in a grateful tone, “Thank you! You’ve really done me a big favor.”
Showing your gratitude with such simple words actually satisfies a man’s emotional needs and captures his heart. And the next time, he will be more than happy to go through fire and water for you.