Arjun and his wife have been married for five years, and with the initial two-year relationship, it is exactly seven years of affection by this year. It was at this time that he found himself hopelessly in love with a new female colleague in the company, and he felt that the female colleague was also quite fond of him. He wanted to go forward and grab the relationship because he felt it was a beautiful romantic feeling that he had never felt before, but his family responsibilities made him feel torn by the fear of hurting his wife and three-year-old son.
Talking about the trouble this has brought him, Arjun said with a bitter smile, “Maybe my marriage is just getting into the seven-year itch …… “
This makes some people ask in confusion: Does an intimate relationship really become fragile and prone to problems when it enters its seventh year?
This is really a redundant concern.
Because intimacy doesn’t just “tickle” for no reason, much less without warning. For example, this article mentioned in the beginning of the Arjun, in fact, his marriage relationship as early as more than two years ago began a big friction constantly, the two couples have not communicated for a long time, but also can not communicate. The love for the female colleague, but he is not satisfied with his marital relationship is the external form of expression. And the relationship between Lai and Le Keer, according to the trivial information reported by the media, about their relationship has also been in trouble for a long time, and the divorce is just a way they use to solve the problem.
So it seems that the seven-year itch of intimacy is just a way for a couple who don’t feel happy to have an “itch” to present their problems.
So what can you do to get past the seven-year itch?
First and foremost, be proactive and take precautions. To maintain intimacy, prevention is always better than cure. If the relationship is severely “itchy” and inflamed – two people have reached the point of attacking each other, prolonged cold wars, and separations before they start wanting a sweet and happy relationship – then It is not impossible to try again, but to restore the sweetness of the past will be very hard, and even become unattainable. So cultivating a sense of intimacy and security while the relationship is still viable, and increasing the viscosity of the relationship to get twice the result with half the effort, is a great way to get through the seven-year itch.
Second, learn more about the wisdom of love The second is to learn more about the wisdom of love and to develop the idea of “running” a relationship. Being married is not the end of the story; in fact, it’s often just the beginning of the relationship. Read good books on emotional relationships, self-growth, spirituality, and compare your own practices, then adjust yourself little by little to improve your ability to love, master the wisdom of love, and make yourself better. In this way the ability to face adversity when problems arise will be greatly enhanced, and this is the secret of why some people get through the seven-year itch so well.
Finally, be able to recognize that love is not the whole of life; it will always be just a part of life, although it is an important part. Pouring your sense of self-worth all over your love relationship, as if your life would be a complete failure without it – is a very insecure state. Because a partner may leave early because they can’t take on such a big responsibility, but more importantly, when we pour our entire sense of self-worth into a relationship, it’s easy to lose ourselves and our lives become unbalanced, making love relationships bumpy and difficult instead.
Looking at love relationships as a part of life and making it a priority to run your life and work on yourself gives you more strength and wisdom and courage when facing and dealing with marriage relationships.