Meeting someone of the opposite sex for the first time, feeling like you have nothing to say, and then thinking that this person is not right for you. Does such an experience sound familiar? It may have happened to us at some point. This is because we won’t chat properly and then conclude that this person is not suitable. Do you ever feel that, inadvertently, you might be missing out on something?
The first time two people meet, they are destined to have a difficult start because they are not familiar. But it doesn’t mean that the person’s character is presented to you in this way. So, don’t jump to the conclusion that this person is not for you. It may be that when the other person’s box opens at a certain topic of interest, you will find that the two are actually quite similar in their ideas. What a shame it would be to miss out on the right person for you just because you can’t talk.
Some people are naturally chatty
Some people are naturally chatty. I met an AIA senior sales manager, a lady in her thirties, who could recommend a famous Chinese doctor from Hong Kong to you at the first meeting, tell you interesting stories she encountered when buying and renovating a house, and after an hour of knowing her, you even already knew how her husband had pursued her in the first place and how many boyfriends she had had before she got married, but of course she would add a sentence after the blurb “This is our private talk about oh.” The last sentence gives you a sense of a little secret between the two of you, and this instantly succeeds in bringing them closer together.
This is the only insurance salesperson I’ve met in passing that didn’t turn me off, because she never mentioned anything about their company’s insurance products to me throughout. But if I want to learn about insurance products, I would rather seek her advice because she aroused my goodwill and left me unsuspecting. Successfully disarming a stranger is already a high skill in China where everyone’s guard is high. In addition to her good face, her skill lies in being observant – seeing that you are dressed more than others; good at finding topics of conversation – asking if you are afraid of cold; and also helpful – enthusiastically introducing you to a doctor of Chinese medicine. She is also helpful – she is eager to introduce you to a doctor of Chinese medicine and health care. If it is a person who sincerely wants to help you, will you still refuse her coldly? I’m afraid it’s hard.
How to talk to strangers
Caring about what others care about most. It usually opens up the conversation. On one occasion, I met an editor-in-chief I knew, and after a few words of harangue, I had nothing more to say. Later, I found out that she was talking to someone else, and it turned out that the other person asked about her baby girl. Of course, I didn’t have children at the time and didn’t know the connotations of this topic sky high. But this principle is limited to topics that have nothing to do with interests, such as children, ah, ball skills, NBA, etc. If you ask about the winning bid for the project, the internal list of the current election, it is as annoying as asking about the age of women and the income of businessmen.
Push relentlessly toward the details. This skill of chatting is the same as the skill of creating good literature. Taiwanese host Tsai Kang-yong also mentioned this technique when talking about the success of “Kangxi Lai Lai”. It’s too bland to just say “go shopping with your girlfriend”, “go shopping with your girlfriend in the computer city for two hours, and finally your girlfriend buys a webcam for chatting with another guy and insists on paying for it herself …… “Only interesting. The finer the details, the more impressive the impression left, the better the work, the more successful the chat. To achieve this, introduce you to a journalism department working technique: 5 W’s plus an H. Ask more Who, Where, What, When, Why and How, and the details will come. But unlike an interview, when chatting, not only do you need the other person to be happy to deliver the 5 Ws and an H, you also need to keep bursting with self-information to do so.
How to make each other feel good about talking without losing your honesty is a necessary lesson that isn’t taught in school, but can’t be missed on the job. Without talent, you can also become a talkative person through hard work. Each person’s comprehension may be a drop in the ocean, but those who have been troubled by the subject must be as many as the droplets in the ocean.
How to find something to talk about when you first meet someone of the opposite sex
Often, we The first thing you need to do is to find out what you want to say. The two of you are in silence, your head is blank, and it’s hard to continue the conversation, and that’s what we hate about “cold feet”.
How do you save a cold conversation and how do you find something to talk about with each other?
First, find the topic from yourself.
When your mind goes blank and you can’t make sense of it, take a few deep breaths and go to the bathroom to gather your thoughts. The first thing you need to do is take a few deep breaths and go to the bathroom to gather your thoughts. Think back to your favorite topics and use those familiar topics to revive the conversation. These topics require prior preparation and can cover a wide range of areas.
For example, your hobbies, family stories, embarrassing work stories, childhood stories, your school, your friends, your favorite song, whatever you can talk about.
Second, find topics from your surroundings.
Usually a cold conversation happens because you feel like you’re done talking about what you’re good at and don’t know what to say. So after the “pee-away” above, you can also search the restroom and find something to talk about from your surroundings.
For example, if you’re having a cold conversation with someone you’re meeting for the first time, and there’s a prominent KFC ad outside the window: Half Price Family Bucket, you can say, “I haven’t been to KFC recently, but I know basically everything about KFC’s seasonal deep cuts. …… ads too much …… you will not also often see KFC ads …… heard this half-price bucket is very pit… …
The news focus of recent hit TV shows, website headlines, etc., they are both great conversation topics and the easiest points to get a girl’s attention.
Third, find topics from each other.
What? You’ve “disappeared” into the bathroom, but you still can’t find anything to talk about? Take another 30 seconds to take a set of deep breaths, wash your face if necessary, and think back on your conversation with the other person.
Did she mention anything that you didn’t talk about?
Yes! She just talked about how her mom wanted her to get a bag of dog food before she went home. That her dog is a good topic of conversation.
Talking about the dog’s routine reflects the details of each other’s lives, too!
We all live in a society where we can certainly find out a lot of things to talk about as long as we’re intentional. If the other person is more introverted, there is no need to rush, talk while slowly observing. If he reacts to your topic, which is a sure sign that he is interested in what you have to say, say more.
Get to know each other, always through slow trial and error. Don’t jump to conclusions about someone, have patience to get to know each other to really find the right person.