It is said that “the heart of a woman is a needle at the bottom of the sea”, but what about the heart of a man? Is it simply impossible to open? Maybe you just lack a mantra of Alibaba. Here’s a list of five tips, so why not try them out?
Secret #1: Real men are afraid of rejection
Want affirmation and fear of rejection, especially by the woman they are closest to, is a common problem for men.
Surveys show that the vast majority of men feel that women are always picking on them, so they worry that when they open their mouths, they will be met with ridicule, which will make them feel humiliated. Men’s self-esteem is as fragile as an eggshell, and the more acknowledgement you give him, the more likely he is to talk about it.
This doesn’t mean you don’t have a point of view or you don’t have an opinion on the matter. Loving a man is about accepting him, not shaping him. If he opens his mouth and you say “that’s wrong, I don’t agree” or “where did you get that crazy idea”, he’ll shut up immediately.
One of the things a hen does before she lays an egg is to make sure her surroundings are safe, because it’s critical that those eggs are safe when they’re born. By the same token, people make sure that the other person is receptive when they tell the deepest secret of their heart, because that secret is the treasure of his heart. Don’t think that a man is big-hearted and doesn’t care about everything; he is always carefully watching you before he opens his mouth.
Secret #2: Make your position clear
Some women are like pecking at a man’s door when they listen to his innermost secrets. Some women will just nod their head like a pecking order when they listen to a man tell his inner secrets. Wrong! This is when a man needs the joy of sharing. He is accompanied by various worries and anxieties while telling his heart. For example, many men are constantly considering the question, “If I tell, she will leave me”. This is when you need to make your position clear and you need to speak up. When he tells you something very personal, say something like this – “That’s not so bad, I’ve done worse.” or “I really appreciate what happened.” Let him know that you are just like him and that his experience is not unique.
Remember to always show that you’re on his side. Many women listen to a man’s story and then simply state that he is wrong about it. This way you are invariably on his bad side. For example, if he tells you he doesn’t get along with his co-workers, you need to look at it from his point of view, not as if you know how to analyze it and say something stupid like, “Actually, others may not mean it. Create harmony and make him feel that you both occupy the same planet and live in a similar world. Your honesty and positive feedback is crucial. If you do that, he’ll be excited to talk because it resonates.
Secret #3: Let go when it’s time to let go
Have you ever experienced that your conversation with your husband or boyfriend eventually evolved into a reminiscence of bitterness about what he did wrong, the ways he has hurt you, and what he owes you now. This happens in every couple or lover, and psychologists analyze that this feeling makes men cringe. In fact, here’s a saying you shouldn’t dislike – all relationships are like a dance, where you share the right answers while also sharing mistakes. You know what a slap on the wrist means. Even if he’s the one who made the mistake, you can’t say you’re not responsible for that mistake.
Men are most afraid of women not letting go of the past, so they rarely bring up old issues again.
Their fears are not unreasonable. Some women like to play the role of victim and “martyr” and they need to use their complaints about love to make themselves feel good. Perhaps this approach will allow them to hold on to some men for a while, but remember, if you play the role of a grieving woman who relies on past sacrifices to keep a man, it means your relationship is already in danger.
Secret #4: Exercise the courage to listen to the truth
You have to have the courage to listen to the truth. the courage to hear the truth.
Many men feel that women want or need beautiful lies. Some of my clients have said they are afraid to tell their partners what is going on in their lives or how they really feel because it will disappoint them. Know why you give men this impression? Because the truth is, many women like to use their emotions to control their men – and therefore their relationship. Women will often ask men to respond in a specific way, such as when she drops a tear, the man should immediately send a shoulder, accompanied by an incredibly gentle whisper. When they don’t, women get frustrated. In fact, this is a cue for men not to tell the truth.
We all make this mistake from time to time, but being willing to hear the truth is the beginning of a truly mature relationship. This will make a man feel that he has a reliable partner with whom he can share his problems. Don’t do the self-deception thing and don’t get discouraged. You may not be able to accept the whole truth right now, but you can certainly work on your tolerance if you want to. Fantasy can make a woman feel good, but the more we accept the truth, the stronger we become. True security comes not from the approval of others but from being true to ourselves, and only then do we hear the truth.
Secret #5: Be true to yourself
The best way to help a man speak his mind is to be true to you. The best way to help a man speak his mind is to be honest, natural, and real with yourself, and to release warmth and acceptance. The various people we meet in life are like mirrors of our own different facets, and we attract other people who make us fall in love with the strengths in ourselves. That’s why these five topics I’ve raised here are not only for men but for us women ourselves. For example, can you give up self-evaluation? Can you not hold on to the memory of something you did wrong in the past? Or are you always overwhelmed by the shadow of your mistakes and failures? How can someone who can’t let go of themselves forgive others?
When a person fully accepts themselves, they are able to create a state of complete ease. Have you ever felt that there is a charm in some people that we are willing to trust them and speak from the heart even if we have not known them for a long time? If you can do this with a clear understanding of yourself, you are basically free from the impatience, fickleness, pretense, conceit and inferiority complexes that are prevalent in this day and age, and such a person is relatable to anyone who looks at them.