In today’s society, men cheating is a commonplace phenomenon, and many women attribute men cheating to the root cause of men’s philandering, which is actually not the case, here’s what causes men to cheat.
“We’re dead, but love doesn’t die.” Throughout history, when has the power of love ever been underestimated by us. To this day, our desire for love continues to be passed on in different versions and a variety of interpretations with great effort. What is the mysterious power that can make us throw ourselves obsessively into the arms of one person, and what keeps us away from the arms of another?
According to a tenured professor of sociology at Northwestern University, in his research he found that people choose partners who are a lot like them, but sometimes pick people who complement them, for example, people who are used to being active will look for passive people, and extroverts are happy to look for introverts. A balance between psychological complementarity and social similarity is an important cornerstone of love and marital harmony. Any love is mutual, there are no complete rights and no absolute obligations. There is a quote that is spot on: “We are all single-winged angels who can only fly if we are united.” So, why do some unions fail to fly? I’m afraid this is also attributable to four mindsets in marriage.
I. A mindset of high expectations for marriage
From falling in love to getting married
From falling in love to getting married, we have been “cheating” ourselves with our own fantasy, which is more often than not unconscious, blind and beyond time and space, and can equate a hot romance with a “passionate” marriage. A fantasy of a “passionate” marriage. Because of the impact of passion, sweet words of the package, the life after marriage has high expectations, the fantasy of a beautiful marriage will replace the reality of marriage, Snow White and the prince of the story evolved into a married life, “high standards”, “strict requirements” of The story of Snow White and the Prince has become the embodiment of the “high standards” and “strict requirements” of married life, which is an artificial wrapping we have attached to marriage, that is, our high expectations of marriage.
When this beautiful fantasy and artificial packaging is replaced by the trivialities of married life, the disappointment and despair will be like a “black cloud over the city” as the needs of the marriage are not met. Generally accompanied by a feeling of deception together to us. In fact, it’s not the person who cheated you, but your high expectations of marriage that cheated you.
II. An overly self-respecting and sensitive mindset
In married life A moderate amount of self-esteem and sensitivity is a good mindset to have in a marriage, but too much self-esteem and sensitivity can drive your marriage into the ground. The first thing you need to do is to be strict with your instructions before marriage, and then ask for the same list of corruption after marriage, an attentive, a drag, the contrast between before and after marriage, forcing our self-esteem into the sheep’s clothing. One of the spouses will then believe that their spouse is belittling them and disrespecting them.
In order to defend our dignity, we are too “prideful” and sensitive to the other person’s words, actions, and behavior, especially when the other person says something inadvertently or makes a thoughtless move. “meaning” on half a day. This mentality to put it nicely that called love over the head, to put it badly is hypersensitive. If not desensitized in time, the long run can only accelerate the other party’s rebelliousness and psychological heaviness.
Three, the mentality of shirking responsibility
Life is inevitably stormy
Life is inevitably stormy, and marriage is inevitably difficult and frustrating, and when the storm hits what is needed most is the responsibility of both parties to help each other with the same boat, not mutual blame, evasion and blame shifting. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Fourth, the mindset of expecting rewards
Some couples’ marriages are The marriage of some couples is like pulling a big saw, how much I give to you, you have to return me how much; I treat you well, you have to treat me well, otherwise, this big saw can not be pulled. If one party does not do well enough, not enough love, the other party’s disappointment, worry, unhappiness will come as expected, all the happiness in the past will be easy to ignore, worry and unhappiness will not be so easy to wave that away. The company’s main goal is to provide a comprehensive range of products and services to the market.