A lot of shortcomings will be exposed when couples get along for a long time, and quarreling is a common thing. If you want to keep the beauty of love, you have to know how to get along as a couple, so how should couples get along when they quarrel?
Secret 1: Let’s talk about things without hurting the innocent
Perhaps in Every time you’re about to get into an argument, you can’t help but mention the rights and wrongs of others, which only adds fuel to the fire. This is the time when your brain seems to have a database, as long as and the other party related to people, whether parents and friends, or colleagues and neighbors, all “kill all”? A simple argument, but because of your “gun”, from his body to expand: his parents did not invite you to dinner last year; his “crotch” of the best friend is very insensitive, often to your home cheat food and drink … … … in the end, the quarrel. The last thing you want to say is, “I wish I was single!”
British psychologists say never drag out a whole bunch of old stories in a fight, and don’t hit each other’s family and friends and co-workers and bosses, or the battlefield will expand indefinitely and the problems you were trying to solve won’t be solved. Psychologists suggest that 30 seconds before the war, ask yourself three questions: First, what exactly is making you angry? Two, is this thing so bad that it needs to be solved by arguing? Third, can the quarrel solve the problem? After answering these three questions, you will find that some things are simply not worth fighting about.
Secret #2: Back off and move from accusation to communication
The “sugar-coated shells” are sometimes more powerful than real bullets, because men are usually soft but not hard. The “highest level” of the art of quarrelling is not to point at his nose and do a lion’s roar, nor to viciously talk to him about the law, but to “overcome the hard”.
Rather than pointing an accusing finger in anger, you should calmly reason with the person. This way, you become a victim instead of a hysterical accuser, and it will lay a good foundation for further communication between you.
Secret #3: Focus your firepower and never argue air-to-air
The psychologists believe that many couples quarrel in the end, it has developed into a “accusation meeting”, you hate to pull out your heart, but he is misunderstanding every sentence, so that almost all quarrels end in a cold war.