What kind of existence is an ex-girlfriend? If anything, an ex-girlfriend is like an accessory to love that makes girls in love teared up. The fact-finding tells us that women’s worries do not come out of nowhere. In a relationship, both boyfriends or yourself, with different psychological secretly observe and care about the “ex-girlfriend”. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do.
An old lover’s crisis on the horizon
Some people once jokingly said The biggest enemies of women are two – a man’s mother and his ex-girlfriend. The ex-girlfriend represents a memory of the man that can never be erased. The results of a survey launched online “how men see their ex-girlfriends”, tragic survey results show that more than half of the men will hide the history of their ex-girlfriends, and even hide the fact that they still keep in touch with their ex-girlfriends. And even more tragic than that, more than 10% of the men in the camp of Cao heart in the Han! Perhaps the accuracy of these survey data remains to be seen, but what the data reveals is a fact: there may be men who still like their ex-girlfriends, still think about them, still contact them, and even look forward to renewing their relationship with them …… Men’s old lover complexes may be stronger than you think.
Can’t Get Always Stir: A Man’s Heart Forever Hiding an Ex-Girlfriend?
Sincerely, as the mean-spirited Eileen Chang said, even if it is a red and white rose, after you get it, after a long time, it is just a rice sticky on the shirt, a smear of mosquito blood on the wall. The man is always thinking about the white moonlight, the heart of the vermilion mole. In some men’s hearts, the previous relationship has not been completely released, the former girlfriend is an unfinished event.
The reason for the separation, or many because of objective reality, such as after graduation to go their own way, job changes, etc. resulting in distance pull, or from parental opposition, or because of the youthful exasperation does not know how to communicate, tolerance, do not know how to redeem …… In short, at first even if the breakup ended, there is still resignation and reluctance inside. But even when both sides thought they were unsuitable for each other at first, and thus broke up peacefully, the ex-girlfriend always represents a memory for the man, and this person exists for them like a piece of territory that has been conquered.
A male friend told this analogy: There was a novel that I couldn’t write halfway through for various reasons; I went to write another story, and then suddenly found out that another person had finished writing the story before me and won a prize. I would get a little upset because I was always so upset. I will be a little unhappy, because I always feel that the award should be mine, because the first half is written by me, only to be enjoyed by later people. The first part of the story is about a man who has been in the business for a long time.
Psychologists have found that people tend to forget what they have done, what they have achieved, and remember what they have interrupted, what they have not done, what they have not achieved. Humans have a natural tendency to complete a unit of behavior, such as solving a riddle, reading a book, etc. This is “psychological tension”. The evoked but unmet psychological needs form the tension system that motivates individuals to take action to achieve their goals. This is why the unfinished business is more important to people.
This “unfinished business complex” makes people consciously and unconsciously seek to compensate for not accomplishing something, and the person develops an inseparable feeling, so they always seek to double their satisfaction from it. The person is always seeking to get double the satisfaction from it. It’s easy to see why men still occasionally chat with their ex-girlfriends to see if she’s been doing well, or sneak into her Facebook space to read her journal and then delete the traces, or else ask their mutual friends about her latest.
Yes, many men admit that they keep photos, texts, and contacts of their ex-girlfriends and still reach out to them when they are in trouble because subconsciously they believe that there is a part of me in this person, and that part of that specialness makes The man feels responsible for her. “Needed” can always stimulate a man’s desire to protect, not to mention the protection or and their ex had a love affair. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Some men confess that they check their ex’s social networks and Facebook from time to time, for no other reason than to see if she is doing well. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you are doing. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Then again, we will always unconsciously compare what we are having with what we are losing, so as to constantly confirm that we have made the right choice. Time can not go back, love is too difficult a choice, we do not want their hard work, heart and soul to give a less worthy (unworthy) person. So men are still concerned about the former situation, comparing the current, psychological speculation: now she is more gentle, more considerate, more family-oriented; dress tastefully, generous and decent demeanor; and friends play better, deeply loved by parents …… and that past she, or the same old, suspicious, death, work is not good, changed a few boyfriends It seems that none of them turned out well. “I’m relieved to learn that you’re not doing well”, compared to the misfortune and unpleasantness of my predecessor, as if the happiness of the present is instantly bursting (although it seems rather cruel to think so).
Hardly Tangled: There’s an ex-girlfriend in the heart of the current one too……
Hardly Tangled: There’s an ex-girlfriend in the heart of the current one too……
If there is an extremely good ex, I guess the current girlfriend will secretly be happy so that the man will cherish himself more; BUT!!! An excessively good ex is undoubtedly a huge threat to the current one. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you’re getting into. I cook better, or she cooks better (trap)? Am I too stupid, if she does it will she do it better than me (or is it a trap)? You actually dislike me, you think she is good then you go find her ah (burst)! …… So there was a saying on the internet that ex-girlfriends don’t live in the heart of their boyfriends, but in the heart of their current girlfriends.
Current girlfriend pk ex-girlfriend
Whatever the man is
No matter if a man is “not yet over it” or “frankly accepting” the fact of breaking up, in any case, in the view of many current girlfriends, the ex-girlfriend is still a knot in the heart, as the so-called “curiosity killed the cat”, they The woman cared so much about the man’s predecessor, there are two kinds of psychology, as a threat and reference, the two starting point is to “learn from history”, how good the ex-girlfriend, good where, what they can learn from; or, what are her shortcomings, and then this as a warning, do not accidentally step on the minefield, the The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you are doing.
This fear is not unfounded. British psychologist Spielman conducted a marriage experiment in 2012 and concluded that when men think about their exes, it may be a sign of dissatisfaction with their current relationship. The “attribution substitution hypothesis” also suggests that our strong sense of emotional connection to others can be replaced, and that people will go back to their most recent exes after they’ve grown tired of a relationship. This is because it is the fastest and easiest way to get a strong sense of belonging.
So how do you deal with this “threat” as a current person?
First you need to be confident. I believe that I have advantages and strengths, good enough to deserve my boyfriend’s attention and affection; I also have to believe in my boyfriend’s judgment, since he chose himself, it means he is more suitable for him; I believe he is mature enough to handle the problems with EX, and I believe he will have a deeper perception of love after his previous relationship.
Secondly, learn to accept the fact of the ex-girlfriend. The first thing you need to do is to accept the fact that your ex-girlfriend has been in a relationship for a long time, so it’s better to accept all the “shaping” and “changes” she has made to her boyfriend, but that’s all in the past, and from the moment the relationship is established, everything will be opened up by you, leaving your traces. Cover up the traces she left before. The first thing you need to do is to ask for more information about her. Every time you mention it, it will remind your boyfriend of this person again, strengthening her memory and awakening the “shape and change” she made in him.
The last impressions are often the strongest, diluting the factors that came before them, the proximate effect, a phenomenon that occurs when people remember the end of a series better than the middle. The previous information is gradually blurred in memory, thus making the recent information more prominent in short term memory.
How can you, as a current girlfriend, enhance the “proximate effect” to improve your charm and attractiveness? The woman’s beauty sometimes lies not in her appearance but in her pursuit of beauty, which is a positive attitude towards self-recognition; when there is aesthetic fatigue, but also the courage to make new attempts to keep the attractiveness of freshness The two of you can plan a trip or do something you’ve always dreamed of doing together to enhance your relationship while creating memories that belong to you together ……
Actually, many women are Clearly, the reason why they see their ex-girlfriends as a threat, but they are worried that they are not good enough, worried that their ex-girlfriends eat back their PK, worried that their boyfriends still think about the good of their ex-girlfriends …… In fact, she is not as good as you think, in fact, you are good enough to believe that your boyfriend is not a fool. In the world of relationships, security is greater than the sky, this is common to both men and women, and security will be “contagious”, rather than let yourself be trapped in the tangle of ex-girlfriends mediocre people upset, rather than the heart to manage the relationship in front of you, let your boyfriend feel your full of love and silent intentions, let him hold you when you feel a sense of belonging, secretly promised a The future is about the promise of home.